Film List of 2013

These are all of the movies I have watched throughout last year and were qualified to be judged for my awards.

If I didn't watch a film at all or in its entirety, it is disqualified and ineligible. A few examples of films I wanted to see but couldn't before the mandated deadline were The Act of Killing, Frances Ha, Upstream Color, The Spectacular Now, and The Place Beyond the Pines.


12 Years a Slave
20 Feet from Stardom
42
After Earth
Aftershock
American Hustle
Battle of the Year
Beautiful Creatures
Berberian Sound Studio
The Big Wedding
Black Rock
Blackfish
The Bling Ring
Blue Is the Warmest Color
Broken City
Bullet to the Head
The Call
The Canyons
Captain Phillips
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2
Cockneys vs. Zombies
Computer Chess
The Conjuring
The Croods
Dark Skies
Dead Man Down
Despicable Me 2
Drug War
The East
Elysium
Emperor
Epic
Escape from Planet Earth
Escape from Tomorrow
Europa Report
Evidence
Evil Dead
Evocateur: The Morton Downey Jr. Movie
Fast & Furious 6
Frankenstein's Army
From Up on Poppy Hill
Frozen
G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Gangster Squad
Getaway
Gimme the Loot
A Good Day to Die Hard
Gravity
The Great Gatsby
Grown Ups 2
The Hangover: Part III
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
A Haunted House
The Heat
Himmatwala
The Host
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
I Declare War
The Iceman
Identity Thief
In a World...
InAPPropriate Comedy
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Insidious: Chapter 2
The Internship
Iron Man 3
Jack the Giant Slayer
John Dies at the End
Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain
Kick-Ass 2
The Last Exorcism: Part II
The Last Stand
Leviathan
The Lone Ranger
The Lords of Salem
Lovelace
Mama
Man of Steel
Monsters University
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
Movie 43
Much Ado About Nothing
Mud
Now You See Me
Oblivion
Olympus Has Fallen
Only God Forgives
Oz: The Great and Powerful
Pacific Rim
Pain & Gain
Paranoia
Parker
Parkland
Phantom
Planes
Prisoners
Quartet
R.I.P.D.
Room 237
Rush
Safe Haven
The Sapphires
Saving Mr. Banks
Scary Movie 5
Shootout at Wadala
Side Effects
The Smurfs 2
Spring Breakers
Star Trek Into Darkness
Storage 24
Stranded
Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor
This Is the End
Thor: The Dark World
To the Wonder
A Touch of Sin
Trance
Turbo
Warm Bodies
Welcome to the Punch
We're the Millers
White House Down
Winnie Mandela
The Wolf of Wall Street
The Wolverine
World War Z
The World's End
Would You Rather


Overall Count: 128 Films

Joke Film Awards of 2013

Most Accurate Film Title: Planes (Runner Up: Lone Survivor)

Same Dress, Different Hairstyle: Olympus Has Fallen and White House Down

The Eric Roth Award for Worst Display of Self-Plagiarism: Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge! = The Great Gatsby)

Palm Dog Award: Barklee, John Dies at the End

Best Duel with an Animal: Ravi vs. Tiger, Himmatwala

Most Pitied Animal: The Killer Whales of SeaWorld, Blackfish

Most Hated Animal: Mollusks, Turbo, Epic, Monsters University

Best Use of a Three Hour Running Time: The Wolf of Wall Street

Worst Use of a Three Hour Running Time: Blue Is the Warmest Color

Most Suspenseful Sequence Involving Anti-Communism Beliefs: Dahai's rampage in A Touch of Sin

Most Suspenseful Sequences Involving a 90 Minute Window: Gravity

Most "Suspenseful" Sequence Involving a Wedding Cake: Elias Koteas threatening Jennifer Hudson in Winnie Mandela

Best Reason to Fast-Forward to the End: The "William Tell" finale in The Lone Ranger

Most Incestuous Film: The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (Runner Ups: Oldboy, From Up on Poppy Hill, Saving Mr. Banks)

Actor with the Biggest Open Schedule of the Year: Rob Corddry

The Ryan Reynolds Award for The Biggest Failure to Jump to Stardom: Ryan Reynolds (Runner Up: Nicholas Hoult)

Worst Use of Girl Cosplay: Kristen Bell as Supergirl in Movie 43

Worst Use of Whitewashing: Johnny Depp as Tonto in The Lone Ranger

Worst Use of ADR: Scary Movie 5

Best Product Placement: Pepsi in World War Z

Worst Product Placement: Everything in Man of Steel (Runner Up: Planet B-Boy in Battle of the Year)

Best Use of a Socialite: Paris Hilton and her mansion in The Bling Ring

Worst Use of a Socialite: Kim Kardashian in Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

Best Use of a Backstreet Boys Song: This Is the End

Oddest Use of an All-4-One Song: Despicable Me 2

Oddest Use of the Chicken Dance Song: Himmatwala

Most Boob-tastic Poster: Machete Kills' Sofia Vergara Character Poster

Most Butt-tastic Poster: Machete Kills' Alexa Vega Character Poster

Most Unintentionally Raunchy Poster: The Great Gatsby

Best Raunchy Tagline: "Their American Dream is bigger than yours", Pain & Gain

Worst Raunchy Tagline: "She's going from straight A's, to getting her first F", The To Do List

Best of the Rest of 2013

BEST BREAKTHROUGH: Adèle Exarchopoulos


Honorable Mentions: Lupita Nyong'o, Margot Robbie, James Badge Dale, Joey King, Chris Chalk, Tashiana Washington



BEST ENSEMBLE: The Cast of 12 Years a Slave


Honorable Mentions: Much Ado About Nothing, Pain & Gain, The World's End, Pacific Rim, Now You See Me



BEST DIRECTOR: Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave


Honorable Mentions: Alfonso Cuarón (Gravity), Michael Bay (Pain & Gain), Sofia Coppola (The Bling Ring), Jia Zhangke (A Touch of Sin), Martin Scorsese (The Wolf of Wall Street), Rodney Ascher (Room 237), Lake Bell (In a World...)



BEST SCREENPLAY: Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely, Pain & Gain


Honorable Mentions: Jennifer Lee (Frozen), Terence Winter (The Wolf of Wall Street), John Ridley (12 Years a Slave), Don Coscarelli (John Dies at the End)



BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Sean Bobbitt, 12 Years a Slave


Honorable Mentions: Emmanuel Lubezki (Gravity), Benoît Debie (Spring Breakers), Christopher Blauvelt & Harris Savides (The Bling Ring), Roger Deakins (Prisoners), Lucas Lee Graham (Escape from Tomorrow), Jay Hunter (Much Ado About Nothing), Nicholas D. Knowland (Berberian Sound Studio), Ben Seresin (Pain & Gain)



BEST EDITING: Rodney Ascher, Room 237


Honorable Mentions: Joe Walker (12 Years a Slave), Douglas Crise & Adam Robinson (Spring Breakers), Joel Negron & Thomas A. Muldoon (Pain & Gain)



BEST SCORE: Hans Zimmer, 12 Years a Slave


Honorable Mentions: Cliff Martinez & Skrillex (Spring Breakers), M83 (Oblivion), William Huston & Jonathan Snipes (Room 237), Rick Smith (Trance)



BEST SONG: "Let It Go" by Idina Menzel, Frozen


Honorable Mentions: "Oblivion" by M83 feat. Susanne Sundfør (Oblivion), "Together" by The xx (The Great Gatsby), "Lean on Me" by Darlene Love feat. Lisa Fischer, Jo Lawry, & Judith Hill (20 Feet from Stardom), "Roll Jordan Roll" by Topsy Chapman feat. Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave), "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons (The Host), "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" by Kristen Bell, Agatha Lee Monn, & Katie Lopez (Frozen), "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey (The Great Gatsby), "Sigh No More" by Joss Whedon feat. Maurissa Tancharoen & Jed Whedon (Much Ado About Nothing), "Future Starts Slow" by The Kills (Black Rock), "Love Is Blindness" by Jack White (The Great Gatsby), "Thank God It's Friday" by Sachin - Jigar feat. Sunidhi Chauhan (Himmatwala), "You're My Dream" by Proud (Only God Forgives), "Silhouettes" by Of Monsters and Men (The Hunger Games: Catching Fire), "Happy" by Pharrell Williams (Despicable Me 2)



BEST PREEXISTING SONG: "Everytime" by Britney Spears, Spring Breakers


Honorable Mentions: "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" by The Backstreet Boys (This Is the End), "This Corrosion" by The Sisters of Mercy (The World's End), "Sukiyaki" by Kyu Sakamoto (From Up on Poppy Hill), "Step Back in Time" by Kylie Minogue (The World's End), "Help Me Rhonda" by The Beach Boys (Mud)



BEST OPENING CREDITS: Berberian Sound Studio


Honorable Mentions: Mama



BEST ENDING CREDITS: Black Rock


Honorable Mentions: Room 237, Thor: The Dark World



BEST STINGER: Frozen


Honorable Mentions: Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World



BEST POSTER ART: You're Next ("House Layout")


Honorable Mentions: Escape from Tomorrow, Side Effects ("Prescription"), Carrie ("Closeup"), Nebraska, Trance, Bad Milo ("Skateboarding"), Only God Forgives ("Neon Sign"), V/H/S 2, The Wolverine ("Ink Brush"), You're Next ("Doorway"), White Reindeer, World War Z ("Zombie Ladder"), Oldboy, Fill the Void



BEST TRAILER: Gravity


Honorable Mentions: The Wolf of Wall Street, The Secret World of Walter Mitty (1st Trailer)



BEST ACTION FILM: Drug War


Honorable Mentions: Now You See Me, Welcome to the Punch, Olympus Has Fallen



BEST ANIMATED FILM: Frozen


Honorable Mentions: The Croods



BEST COMEDY FILM: The Heat


Honorable Mentions: Much Ado About Nothing, In a World..., This Is the End, Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain



BEST DOCUMENTARY FILM: Room 237


Honorable Mentions: 20 Feet from Stardom, Blackfish



BEST HORROR FILM: Berberian Sound Studio


Honorable Mentions: The Conjuring, John Dies at the End, Mama



BEST SCI-FI FILM: Gravity


Honorable Mentions: The World's End, Pacific Rim, Europa Report



BEST GUILTY PLEASURE: Himmatwala



FUTURE CULT AND APPRECIATION

Films that I feel will grow on me, beyond my initial expectations and opinions and become the great films that they sought to be.

42
Berberian Sound Studio
The Conjuring
Gimme the Loot
The Heat
Prisoners
This Is the End
A Touch of Sin
Welcome to the Punch


UNDERRATED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED

Actors and Actresses that gave great performances in terrible films and/or in roles with little material and screentime.

Jon Bernthal (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Rose Byrne (The Internship)
Kyle Chandler (The Wolf of Wall Street, Broken City)
Jeffrey Combs (Would You Rather)
Rob Corddry (Warm Bodies, In a World..., Pain & Gain, Escape from Planet Earth)
William Fichtner (Elysium, The Lone Ranger)
Laurence Fishburne (Man of Steel)
James Gandolfini (The Incredible Burt Wonderstone)
Diane Kruger (The Host)
Alexandra Maria Lara (Rush)
Rob Reiner (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Zoe Saldana (Star Trek Into Darkness)
Antje Traue (Man of Steel)
Olivia Wilde (The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, Rush)
Alfre Woodard (12 Years a Slave)

Best Performances of 2013

Best Actor: Mark Wahlberg, Pain & Gain


Honorable Mentions:

Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Great Gatsby

Dwayne Johnson, Pain & Gain

Simon Pegg, The World's End

Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave

Daniel Brühl, Rush

Tom Hanks, Saving Mr. Banks



Best Actress: Lake Bell, In a World...


Honorable Mentions:

Amy Acker, Much Ado About Nothing

Rooney Mara, Side Effects

Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Kristen Bell, Frozen

Tashiana Washington, Gimme the Loot

Amanda Seyfried, Lovelace

Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks

Jessica Chastain, Mama



Best Supporting Actor: James Franco, Spring Breakers


Honorable Mentions:

Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave

Bradley Cooper, American Hustle

Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street

Nathan Fillion, Much Ado About Nothing

Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips

Fred Melamed, In a World...

Louis C.K., American Hustle

Harrison Ford, 42

Idris Elba, Pacific Rim

Sharlto Copley, Elysium

Alan Tudyk, 42

Sam Claflin, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire



Best Supporting Actress: Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years a Slave


Honorable Mentions:

Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle

Sarah Paulson, 12 Years a Slave

Adepero Oduye, 12 Years a Slave

Jena Malone, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Isabelle Nélisse, Mama

Melissa Leo, Prisoners

Daniella Kertesz, World War Z

Olga Kurkulina, Kick-Ass 2



Next Up: Best of the Rest of 2013

Worst Performances of 2013

Worst Actor: Jaden Smith, After Earth


Dishonorable Mentions:

Ari Shaffir, InAPPropriate Comedy

Vince Vaughn, The Internship

Bruce Willis, A Good Day to Die Hard

Liam Hemsworth, Paranoia

Jamie Campbell Bower, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Steve Carell, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Simon Rex, Scary Movie 5

Robbie Jones, Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

Kevin James, Grown Ups 2

Adam Sandler, Grown Ups 2

Alden Ehrenreich, Beautiful Creatures

Johnny Depp, The Lone Ranger

James Franco, Oz the Great and Powerful



Worst Actress: Brit Marling, The East


Dishonorable Mentions:

Jennifer Hudson, Winnie Mandela

Jurnee Smollett-Bell, Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

Selena Gomez, Getaway

Diane Keaton, The Big Wedding

Alice Englert, Beautiful Creatures

Stephanie Szostak, R.I.P.D.




Worst Supporting Actor: Nick Swardson, Grown Ups 2, A Haunted House


Dishonorable Mentions:

Josh Peck, Battle of the Year

Will Smith, After Earth

Kadan Rockett, Dark Skies

Paresh Rawal, Himmatwala

Kamil McFadden, Grown Ups 2

Jacob Tremblay, The Smurfs 2

Kaleo Elem, Grown Ups 2

Ewen Bremner, Jack the Giant Slayer

Ben Barnes, The Big Wedding

Lucas Till, Paranoia

Steven Tyler, Epic

Tom Burke, Only God Forgives

Jon Voight, Getaway

J.B. Smoove, The Smurfs 2

Jonathan Rhys Meyers, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones



Worst Supporting Actress: Kim Kardashian, Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor


Dishonorable Mentions:

Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Grown Ups 2

Jacki Weaver, Parkland

Mary-Louise Parker, R.I.P.D.

Cheri Oteri, Grown Ups 2



Next Up: Best Performances of 2013

Best Films of 2013

Though 2013 saw many big budgeted failures and fiascoes, even after accepting worldwide totals, there was a surprising new movement of taste among audiences. Genres long though dormant, non-digestible or no longer applicable were major triumphs: Two female police officers repackaged the buddy cop action-comedy; Street-level magicians took the next step beyond The Prestige by mixing the smokes and mirrors with worldwide capers; Horror drew major crowds thanks to legitimate scares and intriguing premises; A simple biopic of a baseball legend returned the majestic nature and rampant turmoil of a diamond-shaped field to the silver screen; Space became frightening again and finally introduced to people that sound doesn't travel; An animal documentary didn't rest on cute creatures to draw attention, but on the harmful effects of corporate thinking and mishandling of human and animal life in theme parks; And, the concert film returned due to the efforts of a funny little man. Even with the blasting rush of disaster porn, there at least was one film that used it to craft an interesting story while also winking to the camera, to make sure the viewer get that the cast is having a grand ole time.


Of course, if there was one major theme among the biggest and finest works of art, it was the plethora of amateur crime. Muscle junkies, thrill-seeking college sisters, a penny stock peddler, and high-schoolers who worship at the church of American Celebrity were the head kingpins in all corners of the map. To make them even more terrorizing, they were nearly all based on the real-life exploits and heinous actions of actual people. The non-condoning structure of said films, along with their strikingly artful flurries of debauchery, made them the most divisive, love-it-or-hate-it movies of the year. Luckily, I was in the former.


But not all of the true shining lights of the cinema had to relish on inappropriate practices to cast a dark light on the American Dream. They instead had the ability to deliver some Broadway charm, the extremities of film theory, a visual picture to nameless voices, or make you think about the debate between universal truth and the law. They could have featured the low budget quality of "putting on a show" by filming in the houses and backyards of the filmmakers or escalate the funding to match the height of a giant robot.


These are the films I have deemed the best of 2013. Though I put them in list format, I was equally entertained and moved by all of these films.


Now comes the usual disclaimer that sadly everyone forgets to remember: This list is of my own opinion, not the general public nor the Internet consensus. If I didn't see the film at all or in its entirety, it isn't counted or considered to be included.



TOP TEN BEST FILMS


1. Pain & Gain

Michael Bay made the best movie of the year. Michael Bay, a man who has sat atop the worst-of list for his past offenses, was able to masterfully craft a disturbingly amazing crime story, set in the endorphin-driven cesspool of Miami. Enhanced by a mighty ensemble led by the intimidating Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson, and further helped by the backdrops made famous by Michael Mann and Brian De Palma, this movie proved that everybody deserves a second chance in life.



2. Spring Breakers

Speaking of second chances, Harmony Korine was long thought to continue down his non-accessible, extreme film route like Trash Humpers. Instead, through the help of celebrity gossip outlets with the casting of Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens, he was able to have his next effort make a big splash in cinemas. It certainly did, due to the blaring nightmare music of Skrillex & Cliff Martinez, Benoît Debie's evocative cinematography, Korine's sleazy yet beautiful direction, and everything about James Franco. The "Look at my shit!" monologue is now included in both pop culture lexicon and acting classes everywhere.



3. Room 237

Is The Shining really about Manifest Destiny? What about the Holocaust? Or how Kubrick faked the moon landing? Should you watch it "backwards and forwards"? Of course, none of these theories make much sense but that doesn't stop this delectable doc from being endlessly watchable.



4. 12 Years a Slave

Director Steve McQueen's finest effort. Every single element is perfection. The direction, the casting, the cinematography, the editing, etc. An hauntingly objective look at one of the darkest times in American history.



5. 20 Feet from Stardom

Why does Janelle Monáe get all the attention for one sentence in a song while others remain in the background? This rip-rolling documentary compiles the many similarities of impressive female black back-up singers who don't always reach the limelight on their own, but still retain a powerful grasp on some of the greatest songs ever made.



6. Gravity

Turn off your cellphones. Don't move out of your seat. Keep quiet. This is one trip you need to experience fully.



7. Frozen

Subtle, this movie is not. Sure to be adapted to Broadway in the future, thanks to its rousing soundtrack, this Disney Animation feature swung a wrecking ball into the conventions of the Disney Princess and had one of the snappiest, shocking scripts to come from the House of Mouse. It may look like the leftovers of Tangled but it at least continued to prove to the public that Disney can now construct better animated features than Pixar. Now that, is truly ice cold.



8. The Wolf of Wall Street

Though it suffers from a rushed editing job and playing out exactly like his previous film Goodfellas, Martin Scorsese took the crown of bad taste last year with this unflinchingly funny overview of Jordan Belfort, a Wall Street stock-broker who played the system to get more money in his pockets than his cilents. An exhausting effort of wall-to-wall depravity, the manic epic held steady by the acting chops of the scenery-chewing, newly physical comedy expert Leonardo DiCaprio.



9. In a World...

Character actress Lake Bell made one of the most charming romantic-comedies of the past decade with this, her debut feature. It also served as one of the best feminist films of the year, casting a light on the voice-over industry and the importance of women to speak as women.



10. Pacific Rim

Sometimes a person just wants to see a giant robot fight a giant monster. One of the most imaginative worlds ever constructed last year, auteur Guillermo del Toro let his kaiju/anime freak flag fly high in the air with this Herculean blockbuster.



THE NEXT TEN



11. The Bling Ring

Sofia Coppola brings an artist touch to the true story of a crime wave perpetrated by L.A. teenagers, who easily entered and stole millions of dollars in clothing from the celebrity elite. One of the very few best things Paris Hilton has ever done for humanity.



12. Much Ado About Nothing

Joss Whedon brings a hobby of his to the big screen, to hilarious results. The black & white cinematography and thrilling ensemble severely underlines both the comedic and tragic nature of the Shakespeare play.



13. The Croods

A family movie that is actually very funny and tears at your heart's strings? Dreamworks Animation made it look easy.



14. John Dies at the End

A slightly loose adaptation of the cult book, it still retains many of the quirky features and paradoxes that enamored many looking for eccentricity. You can just watch the opening segment and be driven to discussion.



15. The World's End

Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost unleash the final entry of the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy, with this sci-fi based tale of the horrors of nostalgia and alcohol intoxication. The ending is a doozy though.



16. Side Effects

Steven Soderbergh's so-called last movie (I give it a year before he returns), he took us through a nauseating look at the immense power of pharmaceutical companies and handed out a nice modern spin of a Hitchcock flick.



17. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Not as fantastic as the first one in my opinion, but it is still a thrilling installment in the mega-successful YA franchise. One of the few films to actually convey PTSD truthfully.



18. Now You See Me

I always wanted to see a live-action Lupin III movie. Adding in some illusionary tricks and a wonderful cast certainly made it a real treat.



19. Drug War

The most conservative entry on this list, HK auteur Johnnie To made a captivating view on the War of Drugs in China. He also crafted some systemically engineered shootouts, whose enjoyment factor is muted like the audio during them.



20. I Declare War

Boys with their toys imagine themselves as real generals and soldiers in this funny yet chilling indie oddity. Makes you want to take away your children's Call of Duty games post-haste.



Next Up: The Worst Performances of 2013