skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Tomorrow, the night before the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have their big gala at the Dolby Theatre, the Golden Raspberry Awards get to have their moment to shine. This "professional" organization, created by John J. B. Wilson and Mo Murphy in 1981, "honors" the fine men and women who brought forth the worst films imaginable. Because of these annual festivities, we have the darker elements of pop culture forever on display, in order to show future generations the stupidity people had to sit through in theaters. Unfortunately, like many award shows, there is debate to what was included and even won. This is my view on the failures of the Razzies.
I previously covered some of my harsh attitudes towards the Razzies way back in 2013 with just a simple top ten list. I have always wanted to give the list a fresh new update, retaining my previous remarks while peppering in some other lowlights, so it is now expanded to 15 entries where the Razzies were the ones that screwed up.
Once again, in order to make it on to this list, I have to have a really strong dislike for what the Razzies have done and are willing to defend it. For example, the attack on Sly Stallone and his two films in 1985, Rambo: First Blood Part II and Rocky IV, can be debatable due to the individual merits and sheer dumb intentions of those films. And, as always, I need to have actually seen the films.
Before we jeer the jeerers, let's chip in some honorable mentions that I didn't seem fit to discuss more about:
* Betsy Palmer got the bad rap being nominated for Worst Supporting Actress for her shocking and risky turn in Friday the 13th.
* Mommie Dearest is pretty campy and laughable for some people to watch but the film and Faye Dunaway does not really earn the eternal scorn the Razzies has given it.
* The multiple nominations and Michael Cimino's win as Worst Director for Heaven's Gate were most likely earned due to the infamous theatrical cut and the general stigma the film had upon release but any film nerd or a simple glance at the Criterion Collection can tell you this is total horse hockey.
* "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael has no right being named the Worst Original Song of 1987.
* Die-hard fans of The Ramones may loathe the song but "Pet Sematary" from the movie of the same name isn't really bad at all. It's just another pop-punk ditty.
* I know that many people are pissed at George C. Scott's Worst Actor nomination for The Exorcist III, let alone that The Exorcist III is anywhere associated with bad movie awards.
* Nominating Danny Devito for Batman Returns? Are you kidding me?
* Still haven't gotten around to seeing it again but I still think Demi Moore's Worst Actress win for G.I. Jane was undeserving. Especially since Fran Descher was right there!
* Jim Carrey certainly wasn't one of the Worst New Stars of 1994 for Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Dumb and Dumber, and The Mask.
* The Most Tiresome Tabloid Targets Award is kinda of a nice snapshot of pop culture in 2005 but has absolutely nothing to do with movies.
15. Body Hair and Body Parts Are Actors Too (1992)
I groan and loathe whenever the Razzies has a jokey nomination in the running for any of their awards. Probably the most egregious moment has to be at the 13th edition, when two dubious noms were entered into the Worst New Star category. The first one was Kevin Costner's crew cut in The Bodyguard. Remember how memorable that was? No? The second nomination was even more stupider than a bad hair job: Sharon Stone's "tribute" to Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver in Basic Instinct. How is that a joke at all? Thankfully, Pauly Shore took home the award but the history books will forever show how pitiful the Razzies can come with their nominations.
14. Robing Hood: Prince of Dweebs (Thieves): Worst Actor (Kevin Costner) (1991)
Yes, Costner didn't even try for a British accent in the movie but he was enjoyable as the renowned outlaw. The reason this is on this list is the sheer fact that Costner won the award largely for such a small excuse compared to his opponents: a shock humor misogynist in his own concert film (Andrew Dice Clay, Dice Rules), a failed attempt to forego action heroics for stilted comedy (Sylvester Stallone, Oscar), an unbearable walking experience of egotism (Bruce Willis, Hudson Hawk), and a graduate of Prince's Academy of Singers Who Can't Act (Vanilla Ice, Cool as Ice). Then, there's the other actors who were off the list but are more deserving to replace Costner, such as Brian Bosworth in Stone Cold (though he was included as Worst New Star) and Chevy Chase in Nothing But Trouble.
13. The Joe Eszterhas Worst-Written Film Grossing Over $100 Million Award (1996)
Every now and then, the Razzies create a new category either to skewer one of their repeated offenders or to mock Hollywood trends. The success of screenwriter Joe Eszterhas was a mighty big thorn in their side, so they crafted a commemorative category for him, designed to include audience favorites that did well in the box office. How this was not brought back up during the Twilight years is anyone's guess. The problem with the category itself is that all of its nominations didn't really truly and absolutely stink in the story: Independence Day and the "winner" Twister were just exciting big-budget B-movies, A Time to Kill is pretty harrowing at times and has a famous if clumsy monologue, and The Hunchback of Notre Dame actually touches upon themes truly shocking to see in a Disney film. The last nominee, Mission: Impossible, I can kinda see fitting since the complicated multiple betrayals are still hard to understand but the film was still entertaining. Speaking of new categories...
12. The Razzie Redeemer Award (2014 - Ongoing)
Does anyone remember The Swan? Hailed as the absolute worst reality television series ever created, the show had a bunch of women get complete makeovers, including plastic surgery, in order to achieve the beautiful outer appearance they always dreamed of having. These same women then immediately compete in a beauty pageant so the show can determine who's the best ugly ducking turned swan. The Razzies proceeded to copy this model of faux good intentions when in 2014 they created the Razzie Redeemer Award. The newly crafted prize was designed to honor past Razzie nominees for their new worthwhile efforts but they still had to compete against each other just to be the real redeemer. Kristen Stewart, Keanu Reeves, Mike Myers, and Jennifer Aniston all helped produced acclaimed works that year but Ben Affleck seemed to do it that much better I guess because he got an Oscar. In the second iteration of the award, the Razzie committee continued the stupid structure but were already stretching at the seems, giving Elizabeth Banks a nomination for directing Pitch Perfect 2 simply because she was one of the 13 directors of the anthology film Movie 43. This year, the Razzies finally changed the award to what it should have been in the first place: a prize of accomplishment for just one single individual. But even with this new change, they still managed to screw it up royally. They are bequeathing the Razzie Redeemer to Mel Gibson for Hacksaw Ridge due to him previously being nominated just one single time for his generally acclaimed supporting turn in the turgid action-fest The Expendables 3.
11. Who The Hell Is Angelyne? (1989)
During the 1980s, a large amount of billboards were erected all over Los Angeles, all bearing the image of a busty blonde and her unique name "Angelyne". She became famous solely because of this feat and proceeded to do nothing of any worth save for a couple of music video appearances. But in 1989, director Julien Temple and comedian Julie Brown wished to give her a nice cameo in the film Earth Girls Are Easy, an underrated sci-fi musical comedy that celebrates the L.A. scene and the MTV generation. Angelyne is barely in the film itself, on screen for just a little over a minute and only having five lines of dialogue. All she honestly does is drive her signature pink Corvette, reacts in horror as it gets damaged by Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans, and airheadily points out Michael McKean to the cops. The Razzie voters unfairly though her small appearance was so heinous to the picture that she was nominated for Worst Supporting Actress. This helped set the precedent for future non-celebrities appearing in movies getting easy nominations simply because the Razzie voters had a bone to grind.
10. Mac and Me: Worst New Star (Ronald McDonald) (1988)
Mac and Me is absolutely dreadful and certainly the true worst film of 1988 (sorry Cocktail). Unfortunately, the Razzies nearly proceeded to give the infamous kids movie a complete shutout. Director Stewart Raffill managed to snag Worst Director but it was a co-win with Blake Edwards for Sunset, which itself isn't very good but certainly not as bad as a E.T. rip-off filled to the brim with distressing amounts of product placement. The sole clean "victory" that the movie earned was for Worst New Star. However, the failed breakthrough performance wasn't for the obnoxious Jade Calegory or even the ugly alien Mac. It was for Ronald McDonald. Yes, that Ronald McDonald.
For those unaware, the biggest lowlight of Mac and Me is when it heads off to the craziest McDonalds of all time, where everyone is dancing non-stop. In this scene, Ronald pops in, does some little magic tricks, compliments the kid's oversized teddy bear (Mac in disguise) and immediately leaves. That's it. Twenty seconds of actual screen time! That's the awful performance that won the creepy yellow clown a Razzie. I frankly despise whenever the voting body hands out jokey wins with this being the prime example. Tami Erin and Don The Talking Horse were far more deserving for this award than for someone with a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo. But hey, it could have been worst: the award could have gone to Jean-Claude Van Damme for his awesome job in Bloodsport.
9. Attacking the Action Heroes (1993)
Cliffhanger and Last Action Hero. One is a rip-roaring action film set in the mountains while the others mocks Hollywood conventions literally inside a Hollywood world. Of the two, I truly enjoy Cliffhanger far more though Last Action Hero has more depth in the thinking department. Even after reading all about the production problems, I still think the Schwarzenegger vehicle is a lot of fun. However, the Razzies always have to mock Stallone and Schwarzenegger whenever they can and handed out multiple nominations for these two films. I could argue against John Lithgow and Janine Turner getting bad notices or the attacks at their scripts but the very real problem lies in the Worst Picture category. These two action films were given prime slots over much more deserving fare: Cop and a Half, Son of the Pink Panther, the failed remake of Born Yesterday, and most especially, one of my most hated films of all time and winner of Worst Director, Boxing Helena.
8. Brian De Palma: Nominated for Worst Director (1980, 1983)
Long mocked for being a Hitchcock plagiarist, Brian De Palma did rightly get his just desserts with multiple nominations, including Worst Director, for his work on the colossal, catastrophic adaptation of The Bonfire of the Vanities. However, the man was unfairly picked upon in the past. Though I can't defend his work on 1984's Body Double, since I still haven't seen it, he did do wonders with 1981's Dressed to Kill and especially in the now iconic Scarface, which was noteworthy among harsh critics in 1983 for its graphic violence.
7. The Supporting Actresses of Sci-Fi & Fantasy (1993, 1997)
Sandra Bullock, Milla Jovovich, and Uma Thurman all received proper justice for other films but some of their standout performances were unwisely given the raspberry treatment. Sandra Bullock broke through in Hollywood with her charming, deliberately dim-witted turn as a futuristic police officer in Demolition Man yet had to suffer dishonor at the 1993 Razzies. The same went for Jovovich and Thurman in 1997. Jovovich ran the gamut of crazy in The Fifth Element as the sexy and violent Leeloo while Thurman channeled Julie Newmar as the very campy Poison Ivy in Batman & Robin, often heralded by critics as the sole redeeming thing from that fiasco.
7. S.O.B.: Nominated for Worst Director, Worst Screenplay (1981)
Blake Edwards has had a very checkered career when it comes to his films and his choice of comedy. But attacking one of the funniest satires of the 1980's, the attitudes of New Hollywood, and his own personal and professional life? I call bull.
6. Annie Was a Supporting Player in Annie? (1982)
One of the things that really ticks me and everyone else off about movie awards is how some studios place their lead actors and actresses into the supporting categories in order to avoid competition and have a better chance at winning. One of the most recent cases of this duplicity is how Alicia Vikander played the female lead yet won several awards as Best Supporting Actress for The Danish Girl. The Razzies pulled off this stunt for their third ceremony when Aileen Quinn won Worst Supporting Actress for her work in Annie. In case you don't remember, Quinn played a red-haired moppet in the film. In case you still can't get it, she played Annie. Even if you weren't not enamored by her performance, how in the hell can the titled character be nominated as a supporting player?
The reason for this stretching of the rules is pretty easy. Back in 1983, the same year as the Hollywood take of Annie, an infamous movie called Butterfly came out, presenting to the world the "newest" star of the movie industry, Pia Zadora. Since she was a cinch for Worst Actress and Worst New Star, the Razzie committee decided to lob Alieen Quinn in the supporting category so they could have an easier chance to lambast her. The Razzies would continue using this pathetic strategy in the future, most notable in reverse when Peter O'Toole was somehow nominated for Worst Actor for his clearly drunk performance in Supergirl.
5. No Love For Electronica (1981, 1982, 1985)
The Worst Musical Score category fell be the wayside in 1985, after six years of largely unfair attacks at scores that often used synthesizers and created moody landscapes. I may let Giorgio Moroder's score for the re-edit version of Metropolis to continue be scorned at by some but I certainly can not give a pass to the nominations of Tangerine Dream for Thief, Vince DiCola for Rocky IV (which "won" in 1985), and most especially Ennio Morricone for The Thing. Yes, one of the most iconic horror and sci-fi scores of all time is considered trash by the Razzies.
4. The Blair Witch Project: Worst Actress (Heather Donahue) (1999)
A way too, too easy target for the Razzies, Heather Donahue's widely parodied performance as a lost and scared documentarian is and forever shall be one of the most famous in film's history. It helped usher the film and the found footage horror genre into serious discussion. When you take a look at Donahue's fellow Worst Actress contenders that year though, it seemed the Razzies had to bite the bullet, as the other nominees weren't truly memorable in their badness. However, Juliette Lewis' much maligned performance as a mentally challenged woman in The Other Sister would have been the ideal choice but the Razzie committee saw fit to have her nominated for Worst Supporting Actress. Gee, where did I hear that awards scenario before?
3. The Unfunny Sexual Humor of the Razzies (Various)
The Razzies have always had a strenuous relationship with the LGBT community when it comes to their form of comedy. They seemed to establish in the very first iteration of their awards that they had some moral high ground when they attacked Cruising and the still unreleased on video even today Windows for their homophobic content. Unfortunately, at the very same event, they also gave a Worst Supporting Actress nomination to Georg Stanford Brown for his drag performance in Stir Crazy. Onwards from this point, the Razzies have routinely yucked it up to themselves by including actors and actress in opposite gender categories whenever they acted in drag or even played a character who is disguising themselves. Brooke Shields, Dom DeLuise, Kurt Russell, John Candy, and Jane March all have either won or been nominated because of this approach. Now, you could make the case that these much publicized Razzie awards and nominations did help lead Hollywood to slowly move away from and/or refine drag humor. Even the Razzies themselves eventually gave up on their lame running joke: For the 1994 awards, Julia Sweeney was nominated as Worst Actress for It's Pat instead of say Worst Actor or some kind of new acting award like Worst Person, given the gag for that crappy SNL character. Unfortunately, the joke reared its ugly head into the limelight again when Jack and Jill swept the entire 32nd edition of the Razzies, netting Worst Actress and Worst Supporting Actress for Adam Sandler and David Spade respectively. This inappropriate revival continues to march on whenever they nominate Tyler Perry for his work as Madea.
But the most egregious sexual barbs to come from the Razzies have sprung up in recent times due to the usage of hurtful epithets. The Transformers franchise has been a favorite target for bad movie lovers and critics due to their bombastic, hard-to-see action theatrics, bad acting, bad direction, bad screenplays, and overall being a general plague to the senses. When the Razzies nominated the films, starting first with 2009's Revenge of the Fallen and up to 2014's Age of Extinction, they have referred to them in press releases and on their websites under the nickname "Trannies". Due to obvious reasons, this has earned them widespread criticism. Sadly, considering the fifth Transformers entry is coming out this year and expected to be a favorite, the Razzies may continue this campaign of hate speech.
2. The Shining: Worst Director and Worst Actress (Shelly Duvall) (1980)
I don't really need to describe why these two nominations for one of the most perennial horror films is sheer insanity. Just watch the film. I will mention that these came from the very first "ceremony" of the Razzies, when the committee was just John Wilson and a pile of his friends and their show was at his tiny living room alcove in Hollywood.
1. Razzies Go Political (2004, 2011, 2016)
For the 2004 awards, the Razzies nearly destroyed everything they ever accomplished, all to seek publicity in a tumultuous time in American history. For the first and last time, a film that was largely deemed top quality, successful with critics and audiences and even the winner of the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival, had multiple nominations. That film was Fahrenheit 9/11, the latest documentary from political provocateur Michael Moore. Just to spite the Bush administration, the Razzie committee had the film nominated for Worst Actor (George W. Bush), Worst Supporting Actor (Donald Rumsfeld), Worst Supporting Actress (Britney Spears and Condoleezza Rice), and Worst Screen Couple (Bush and either Rice or his pet goat). All of them, including the goat, would later win. There was much outcry for all of this, mostly accurate, from the left, the right, and anyone that had common sense. The fact that a high caliber documentary, regardless of your political attitudes, would get nominate for anything ruins the whole motive of the awards; bringing reality and personal/national pain into something specifically designed to lampoon narrative drivel and egocentric individuals is a giant culture clash. Then, there's the fact that these political targets won their "awards". What is particularly distressing, and shows how shallow they could get, is that the Razzies wanted to hit at Britney Spears one more time so her extremely brief (i.e. a soundbite) appearance in the doc somehow warranted an award. The Razzies quickly learned their lesson, going back to true blue movies in their nominations.
All until the 2011 awards, where Sarah Palin was nominated for Worst Actress for the documentary The Undefeated, despite the fact she doesn't appear in it as herself (only in voice-over and video clips), and had no part in the beyond terrible propaganda piece (her voice-over came from her audio-book readings of "Going Rogue", which the producers got the rights to). Once again, the Razzies gave no shit about their rules and just threw in a documentary into the acting categories just to be smartasses.
Which brings us to today, where the 2016 awards has multiple nominations for the political documentary Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party, including one for Worst Actor and Worst Actress. I can't really rail for or against this action since I didn't see the film, nor had the urge to spend money on it. However, judging solely by what critics had to say, this is an inverse of the Fahrenheit 9/11 debacle, since Hillary's America really, really stretches the term "documentary" and features director Dinesh D'Souza playing a dream version of himself. Nevertheless, mocking the idiots on all sides of Washington and cable television is one thing; mixing it with Bill Cosby riding an ostrich, Pia Zadora vanity movies, and the horribleness of Eddie Murphy is another.
Super Bowl LI will go down as one of the most famous championship games in history despite the sheer fact that the majority of it was really boring. The Atlanta Falcons was on their way to making Tom Brady look like a complete joke, only for the almighty QB to march his team down the sidelines, get two 2-point conversions, tie up the score at 28 to lead to the first overtime ever in Super Bowl history, and then get an easy touchdown to cinch the win. What a come from behind victory and an epic collapse. As for the commercials, they continued their streak of utterly sucking. The only one I really enjoyed was for Bud Light, where the ghost of the original and literal party animal Spuds MacKenzie tried to get a guy to hang out with his friends more.
Rather shockingly, a big chunk of the limited selection of commercials were brief teasers for upcoming movies. Did any of them work? Let's find out:
The teaser for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 came in early in the show and told the rest to try and top it. This great preview, which is extended online, furthered showed the action and humor of the product. Plus, Gamora hulking a huge ass laser chain gun.
As for the worst of the pack: This was my first time seeing anything for Transformers: The Last Knight and all I can say is, what the hell did I just watch? Just a bunch of random CGI effects, a shot of Anthony Hopkins, and trying to make me care that Optimus Prime and Bumblebee are fighting each other. Michael Bay really doesn't want to do these movies anymore.
Logan basically showed a bunch of its old teaser footage but it's set to a dark version of "Amazing Grace" to make it totally edgy. All anyone needs to do is watch the "red band" trailer to really see how far the movie's willing to go.
Ghost In The Shell had a lame 30 seconds devoted to bad techno blares and titillating looks of Scarlet Johansson's bodysuit. Also, a lame villain revealing that, oh no, Johansson is really a cyborg! Oh my god!
The teaser for A Cure For Wellness was a parody of medical commercials, which would of been effective at any time on television except during prime time let alone the Super Bowl where none exist. They're desperately hoping people come out for this movie.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales had a ton of questionable CGI and resorted to having Johnny Cash to try and give it gravitas. And just when you're rolling your eyes at all of the lame ship combat and skeleton warriors, in comes Johnny Depp. Oh know, the failing actor who's currently reigning as the most hated guy in Hollywood? Additionally, it's extremely funny how new wannabe protagonist Brenton Thwaites is nowhere to be seen here.
The Fate of the Furious was more of the same, save for its crowd-popping stinger with Tyrese Gibson escaping a watery grave via his side door.
And finally, Baywatch glides by with some cheeky jokes, leaving no impact save for those salivating over Zac Efron's buttocks.
October is just around the corner, which means that I will once again partake in one of my favorite holiday traditions: watching a horror movie ever single day of the month! This will be my 4th official edition of the Horrors of October; it would have been the 6th one if I didn't get a nasty cold in 2011, ruining my overview of season one of Are You Afraid of the Dark?, or my complete lack of caring in 2012. Regardless, I have had a ton of fun binging on the cinematic macabre, from the amateurish atrocities to the scary masterpieces.
Though I get to enjoy taking in 31+ horror films every October, there's always those select few that escape my grasp. I say grasp but really I mean my utter lack of actually sitting down and making the time for them. I often resort to just randomly picking a movie with a 90 minute running time so I can get it and my review done before midnight each night. Here's 20 of them I still haven't seen in front of my naked eyes:
1. It
This movie was the all the rage back when I was in 3rd grade; that and rather stupidly Jason Goes To Hell. All of my friends wouldn't stop talking about how frightening Pennywise is and all of the big scares. My parents refused to allow me to watch it, despite it originally being a television miniseries and the fact that its "R" rating was just slapped on for the home video release. Since then, the damn thing has grown and grown further in popularity to the point of madness. This has been one of the biggest head-slappers for me, doubly so considering I own a DVD copy of it, but the drummed-up brouhaha for next year's film remake of the classic Stephen King novel has me yearning to finally watch it.
2. The Saw Franchise
Another personal story: The original Saw movie came out right during my first year in college at Syracuse University. I sadly never got around to watching it at the Regal Cinemas in the Carousel Center, instead being more focused on seeing Resident Evil: Apocalypse and the rush of world cinema in my film classes. The indie horror flick ended up becoming a blockbuster and created a new franchise for Lionsgate to abuse the hell out of. Maybe this year, I will run the gamut of Jigsaw's gory antics.
3. Let The Right One In
I heard all the love and admiration for this 2008 Swedish film and I was all set to pick up a copy of it once it hit video. Unfortunately, the internet was aflame at the awful subtitles it was given by Magnolia Films. They eventually fixed it (if the subtitles box says "English (Theatrical)", you're all set!) but the whole ordeal severely burned my anticipation.
4. The Babadook
It was all the rage in 2014 but I never got on that train to NYC in order to see the Australian flick with the frightening pop-up book.
5. The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
I have touched on all of the big Universal Monsters, save for this one. The silent classic with Lon Chaney Sr.'s famous portrayal of the masked man in the rafters was expected to be an easy pick when I did my Essential Film List project but alas, never touched it due to some terrible DVD transfers.
6. The Others
This very popular horror film starring Nicole Kidman received a lot of love and attention in 2001 but it never really snatched me up with its gothic trappings. I didn't really want to see in theaters and later, when I was more engaged, it was consistently out-of-stock at my local video store.
7. Fright Night
As a huge fan of horror-comedies, the fact that I have never watched one of its granddaddies is total blasphemy. I was going to view it in time for the 2011 remake but I instead left it in the dust.
8. Irreversible
The last of the Big Five of the New French Extremity. I was intrigued to see it since its controversial premiere at the Cannes Film Festival but you must remember, this was still during the dark age of video rental stores. Blockbuster and Hollywood Video refused to care it and I wasn't in the mood then to fork over some dough for an art movie with an extended rape scene.
9. The Descent
Neil Marshall's career further blossomed when he followed up Dog Soldiers with this literal underground horror film. Doomsday nearly nipped it in the bud. Still, I want to spelunk with the extended female cast and see the horrible creatures within the cave walls.
10. [REC]
I have sat through a treasure trove of unlikable douches walking around with live cameras amid horrific plights but never have I seen this Spanish found footage horror film. I put all the blame on the English remake Quarantine and its spoiler-filled marketing campaign.
11. The Orphanage
J. A. Bayona's debut feature was overshadowed by the booming presence of Guillermo del Toro. I'm not a fan of the horror film marketing strategy of "(Insert Famous Director Here) Presents" which is why I largely avoided this in theaters. Bayona has gone on to make the amazing yet hard-to-stomach The Impossible and is already drawing major raves for this year's A Monster Calls, so maybe it's time to see his start in feature films.
12. Silent Hill
Despite many "dude, you gotta play this" from video gaming buddies, I've never gotten around to playing a Silent Hill game. Hopefully seeing its loose film adaptation will kickstart my journey into survival horror.
13. Pulse
Kiyoshi Kurosawa's sobering look at the internet age always piqued my interest but my fears of it being too depressing has always hurt it chances of being viewed.
14. Drag Me To Hell
Spider-Man 3. That's why I shunned seeing Sam Raimi's return to horror and critical acclaim in theaters. Oz: The Great and Powerful further hindered my desire.
15. Children of the Corn
Outlander! Bad reviews and constantly getting it mixed up with "The Cornfield" from The Twilight Zone made me steer clear from this half-baked yet still popular Stephen King story.
16. The Devil's Backbone
I love Pan's Labyrinth but I just softly admire Cronos. Guillermo del Toro's gothic anti-war film might fit right in between those two films when I hit play on my purchased blu-ray from the Criteron Collection.
17. Christmas Evil
I love the idea of Christmas horror movies. This has always been the top draw from that specific sub-genre, mainly due to its twisted psychological thrills and its mind-blowing ending.
18. Ginger Snaps
Female werewolves haven't been better explored and put to great use than this Canadian cult hit.
19. May
Roger Ebert famously gave this horror indie four stars and a big spotlight on At The Movies. I'm a big fan of Luck McGee's The Woman but never gotten around to seeing his early take at a twisted female protagonist.
20. Stakeland
Jim Mickle is one of the most underrated directors today. I sadly never watched any of the four acclaimed features he has done, especially his view of a vampire apocalypse.
Well that was a fun, breezy article to write up, even though it makes myself look like a idiot for continually skipping out on these features. Maybe I'll do a Part Two come next September.
But as for the big question: Will I watch any of these films next month? Just wait and see.
I come home from work to see if the Academy has changed their ways in how they determine their nominations. Oh wait, no I didn't because of course they are destined and doomed to repeat their white-first ways and following the motto, "the blander, the better."
Even though I'm fine with the Best Picture selections to a degree (real talk: I have only see 2 out of the 8), I feel the field is too bland, even with Mad Max: Fury Road in there. Maybe if the Academy grew a heart and had Inside Out in there or at least had some acclaimed movies that didn't bomb at the box office, I would have been mildly pleasant.
Seriously, I still haven't seen The Big Short, nor do I have any urge right now, but how in the hell did Adam McKay get a Best Director nom? And over Ridley Scott?!
The Best Actor category was totes obvious. I still wish that Eddie Redmayne wasn't there.
Benicio del Toro not being up for Best Supporting Actor: Heresy. I have heard nothing but bad things about Mark Ruffalo in Spotlight, both from Boston film critics and people angry at his participation in white-washing, so he should be the one to be removed. But at least Tom Hardy deservedly is there!
Nothing really wrong with the Actress categories. All good choices. I sadly knew Charlize Theron wouldn't have a chance. Thankfully, Rachel McAdams is in there instead of easy choices like Helen Mirren.
Very surprised with Best Animated Feature. Minions, The Good Dinosaur, and The Peanuts Movie out and Boy and the World, When Marnie Was There, and Shaun the Sheep Movie in? Yes please! Thank god the animated department of the Academy know what to look at.
Please, oh please, let Roger Deakins win for Best Cinematography. Emmanuel Lubezki has enough Oscars and he shouldn't totally be awarded for his hit-or-miss job with the tiresome The Revenant.
Netflix keeps creeping in but solely through the Documentary awards. Seriously, where the hell is Idris Elba?
Going Clear isn't on the final ballot! Damn you, Tom Cruise!
Hell yeah, "Earned It" over "Love Me Like You Do"! The Weeknd and his goofy hair get to walk down the red carpet and perform live.
Already pulling for Don Hertzfeldt for Best Animated Short. World of Tomorrow was heralded by so many critics.
Other snubs to remember: Aaron Sorkin, Johnny Depp, Will Smith, Michael B. Jordan, Ryan Coogler, Samuel L. Jackson (seeing a trend?), Quentin Tarantino, Todd Haynes, Jacob Tremblay, Joan Allen, and Going Clear
That's all I can muster right now. But again, just wow at the many blown opportunities.
Well, what do you know? The people controlling the Razzies went for the easy pickings instead of films that deservedly need the scorn and punishment. They certainly would not be covered by ET and the like if their categories were filled with titles such as United Passions, despite it truly being one of the most heinous things put to screen.
Despite having three major Adam Sandler duds last year, they decided to nominate Pixels as one of the Worst Pictures. Yeah, take the dumb but charming of the three. Not the two hour laugh-free western where he sulks the entire time as a Martin Sue, nor the movie where he nearly sleeps with his own mom and strangely becomes a superhero at the end.
I seriously have no idea why The Ridiculous 6 is nowhere here. They had plenty of time to see it and to deliberate, possessing the same time frame as the Oscar voters!
If it wasn't for Pixels, I would have had Jupiter Ascending as my Best Guilty Pleasure. It is gloriously bad but the Wachowskis did put so much love and detail in their confusing sci-fi world and there are some great moments and ideas in it. That being said, I can see why it's nominated for Worst Picture. Talk to any normal viewer or non-cinephile and they will crap right all over it justifiably. However, Mila Kunis' character was awful, not Kunis herself, who sadly did what she was asked to do for the role. That same defense applies to Dakota Johnson for Fifty Shades of Grey.
Oh look, Katherine Heigl is here in Worst Actress. I'm still kicking myself for not seeing one of her dreck; she would most likely have been my Worst Actress instead of Emilia Clarke but hey, I never will know until I have to sit through Home Sweet Hell or Jenny's Wedding.
Eddie Redmayne for Worst Supporting Actor. Good. Very good.
I didn't see either of his two films but I really don't understand why Chevy Chase is up for Worst Supporting Actor. I literally heard no ill talk towards him last year. My theory is that the Razzies just wanted to throw him in here to fill up the ballot and to sling more mud on him after a long time of him being ineligible. Look to his past 80's and 90's films and the "nominations" he gained to understand.
Rooney Mara is nominated for Worst Supporting Actress for her whitewashed role as Tiger Lily. She's the only actor to be given this "honor". Where's the people from Stonewall, or hell even have the cajónes to nominate Emma Stone for Aloha?
Michelle Monaghan shouldn't be here, nor should Julianne Moore for her campy role in Seventh Son.
Think you should ever take the Razzies seriously? Always look at their Worst Screen Couple category, again offering up some stupid nominations.
Seriously, The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) is only up for Worst Director and Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-off or Sequel?
Why bother with Worst Screenplay if you're just going to copy-paste the same nominations from Worst Picture? You could have throw in The Loft or especially Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser!
Elizabeth Banks being up for Razzie Redeemer is just so stupid. Her being in there is flimsy at best (she was one of the 13 directors of Movie 43) and even then, her short was the only okay one.
Now, for my snub rants: Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser came out in July and still was passed over?! Still no overfill of Christian crap or even a new category for themselves? No Terminator Genisys?!
Please give yourself a wake-up call, the Razzies. You picked out a few quality choices but left many of the truly rotten on the sidelines, again.
Though the majority of America were preoccupied with the responsibility of placating their mischievous twerps with the release of Minions, all of the media attention was more focused on what was going down in San Diego. The San Diego Comic-Con reared its ugly head around, once again being used as the major platform of many big upcoming movies and television shows, all the while pretty much leaving the comic book industry to fade into the background.
In my previous two Comic-Con write-ups, I summarized the same thesis: DC Comics was in the main event but I feel a big bad storm is heading this way. The beleaguered company managed to pull off a hat trick with their annual presence in Hall H, as they once again conquered the media blitz with their questionable future films. However, I do think third time's the charm because there was something that they presented that had me more giddy than ever before.
The very first official trailer for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice premiered in front of a rapturous crowd of nerds and easy marks. I was personally not moved at all by it, save for the brief scenes of Wonder Woman in action because duh, we finally get to Wonder Woman on the big screen and Gal Gadot looks alright so far. The brief snippets of its content look to be more of the same from director Zach Snyder and writer David Goyer: the return of SuperJesus, a lot of gloomy doom, and double-downing of 9/11 imagery. As for Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor: I am not impressed, especially with the lame delivery of, "The redcapes are coming! The redcapes are coming!", which sounds incredibly stupid to say out loud and is handled poorly by the more-than-capable Eisenberg. And what was with Wayne's angry fan mail? Was that supposed to be a joke or not? Though all were raving about the final note where Batman stands up in front of Batman, I was still yawning away. I'm still going to see it in theaters and give it a fair chance but this early taste is very bitter indeed.
On the other hand, I was smiling from ear to ear when David Ayer and the degenerate cast of Suicide Squad popped up out of nowhere and gave a first teaser to the crowd of the film-in-progress. Apparently, this was supposed to be a hush-hush event but some spoiled-sports were very nice to let it leak online. After threatening any and all media sites to refrain from linking to the early footage, the heads at DC and Warner Bros. eventually realized that they were idiotic enough to think that this wouldn't be made public in this day and age, so they wisely uploaded the teaser just a few hours ago. Now, as for the footage itself, let's get something off my chest: I am really, really sick of Batman being the only thing DC has to offer, I'm even more sick and tired of the proliferation of The Joker, and early test cases of the Squad (namely Batman: Assault on Arkham and the infamous group shot) had me fearing for this product. That being said, this is pure dynamite and I really hope it goes for a hard R rating. Plus, Margot Robbie continues to be amazing and yes, Jared Leto's Joker has an uniquely distinct edge.
In other DC movie news that absolutely have nothing to do with The Bat, Hal Jordan may return or be thankfully swapped out, as DC announced Green Lantern Corps.
And in more DC movie news that have to do with The Bat, it was announced by fan-favorite producer Bruce Timm that an animated adaptation of "The Killing Joke" will come out in 2016. Oh joy, another dark film from DC but this time we get to watch a woman be treated as a prop and viciously abused. Expect Alan Moore to come out from his cave and cry wolf next year. Also, Ben Affleck will team up with Geoff Johns to write the script for DC's first Batman film post-Nolan.
Marvel was a no show this year because they already announced in advance that they would forgo the weekend event and avoid the competition; why bother be thrown into a pissing contest over which slate of films look better when they have the clout and pomp demeanor to do their own event on their own stage? The company is more concerned on the expected American box office take for this weekend's Ant-Man>.
Not much really came from Star Wars: The Force Awakens. They showed some behind the scenes footage, they had the new cast come out and ended the panel with Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford standing out together.
A trailer for Warcraft, the video game adaptation by director Duncan Jones, premiered but no footage is up yet. Instead, online watchers had to take in the two new film posters released for it. Most sites have chosen to put up the Human variation but I choose the Orc one because that face is so damn goofy and lovable. The word from the trailer is that the film will bring in the original strategy elements of the game series into the plot (i.e. humans need more resources, badly) and that it will be as CGI-filled as the last Hobbit movie.
Eight minutes of The Hateful Eight was made public but again nothing will be posted online; I guess the Tarantino and Blizzard fans have more respect than the Batman community. Just like Warcraft, we have to be content with another new poster for the highly-anticipated western.
Other movie news: More previews of Crimson Peak; The first teaser poster for Krampus; and a panel for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 happened to little much fanfare on Twitter but a drop in the hat for other sites and those burned by Mockingjay Part 1.
