25 Days of Christmas Entertainment - Elf Bowling the Movie (#6)

"Who pooped in the peanut barrel?"

- Santa Kringle



The Elf Bowling games fell under the same curse that impacts seasonal video games; Fun until the shallowness kicks in. Elf Bowling was very popular at its inception in 1999 but by the next year, the appeal wore off on most of the public. There were way too many sequels, which featured the great bowling games of shuffleboard and bocce, that tried to recapture the lightning but only those who were as petty as the gameplay enjoyed them during the brief holiday period.


So, of course, a movie must be made to cash in on something which was freeware and lost all its popularity. Elf Bowling the Movie came out in the timely fashion of the year 2007. It is a dull unfunny 3D animated film with a cast and crew that must be ashamed to have their names associated with it. The film also has a subtitle, "The Great North Pole Elf Strike", which is highly inaccurate, doesn't take place, and shows how misguided and confusing this film is for something based on a bowling game.



The film starts off in 600 AD, where a crew of stereotypical pirates are currently creating a giant time paradox. Named the "Filthy Toe", the ship is run by Santa Kringle and his hammy evil brother Dingle Kringle. Santa and his crew steal toys from all over the world, cause their evil I guess, only for Santa to secretly feel remorseful and send them out in mailed baskets in the middle of the ocean. After a really confusing fight over a bowling game, the brothers are kicked off the ship, frozen in ice, and are saved by three annoying and ugly elves. Believing Santa to be there mythical savior Whitebeard, they ask him to be their leader and be the one to deliver their toys to the world, cause their good I guess. Santa accepts it, planning to betray them later, only to enjoy the experience throughout the years while his brother is still evil and continues to plan to usurpe his brother's power for his own intentions.



I had to be very general writing that plot synopsis cause the script has a plot hole or glaring errors in every minute of the proceedings. It tries to be the next Shrek with its stupid adult jokes but they either fall flat or are offensive. For something based on a bowling videogame, it spends most of its time with a crappy Christmas fan fiction plotline instead of, you know, bowling. This story was written by Martin Olson, a man who has great experience writing comedy for animation with Rocko's Modern Life, Camp Lazlo, and Phineas and Ferb. Instead of being hilarious, his script is a horror with these following problems I have to point out:


What was the reason to have a Macguffin magical ball if it hardly mattered to the plot?

Why did the ball give the head elf Lex Jedi powers?

Why did the elves create over 6 trillion toys over many years for no real reason?

Why are the elves masochistic freaks who like to work all the time and enjoy being viciously hurt?
How are Santa and the rest of the characters able to survive more than 1400 years?

Why are the politics of unions inserted into a children's film?

Why is the black elf a racist caricature, who makes a truly offending joke literally at the end about the urban plight facing many African Americans?

What's with the sexist portrayals of women?

Why did Dingle destroy the elves' factory if he was just going to have them make toys again?

How and where did Dingle's penguin henchmen steal and storage all of the stolen toys?

Why is the head job decided only with one round of bowling?

How come everyone keeps forgetting that Dingle cheats all the time and has been doing evil things over the years?

How can Santa be the hero if he constantly loses to Dingle and only wins the important bowling games through technicalities?


The director doesn't help gliding over these and many more script dilemmas. All of the characters look like they started as claymation sculptures before being rendered in three-dimensions and suffer from clipping glitches. None of the elves have external auditory canals, so there giant ears are just a wad of flesh. Despite the ugly character designs, the director only seems to care about his extensive showcase of dancing programs during the many crappy song numbers. These dances also bring hindrances as the dancing is very very slow, doesn't match the tempo of the songs, and are mapped to many characters in the same shots. Probably the most infamous moment during the dance numbers is when a pile of money raining down just fades through the ground.





The voice acting also brings a share number of headshakes. The entire cast consists of five people, with one of them being the producer of the film. Veteran voice actor Joe Alaskey seems to try to bring something to table but the bad writing and being forced to either be goofy or harshly whiny derails anything. Tom Kenny is typecasted, of course, to do his usual Snively Whiplash voice and his high-pitch shrilling. Jill Talley does her best Madeline Kahn while Sean Hart does bland nothingness.



I'm still bummed out from Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, but Elf Bowling the Movie is a very terrible example of the holiday cash-in. The pain may have been killed out of my system but I was still able to tear it apart with its waste of talent and waste of time.



TOMORROW'S ENTRY: We end the look at films with something that has been overlooked, the cash-in sequel to popular holiday entities.

25 Days of Christmas Entertainment - Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (#5)

"The Ice Cream Bunny! Of course. Of course..."

- Santa Claus



Either look at the title or this quote. Have a chance to take it in fully and breathe. What follows is an overview of an even worst movie than Magic Christmas Tree. I speared and gutted that film but at least I had some fun thanks to my giant silo of cynical energy. But Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny is an atomic bomb, a cerebral poison to a viewer's brain. It is the deadly hybrid of Waiting For Godot and Manos, the Hands of Fate. This is the nadir of horrible children's films and certainly the truly worst Christmas film ever made.



The film starts in an utterly depressing toy factory that even Ingmar Bergman would say it's too harsh. Santa's elves, disturbing played by children including that hellspawn girl from Impulse, sing a unbearable "cheery" work song when one notices, in bad stock footage integration, that the reindeers are back without Santa. Instead of issuing the military or having Santa's best pal Merlin to help him, they just go back to work and never appear again.



Meanwhile in Florida, Santa and his sleigh are stuck near the ocean. He could just get up and head into town but no, he just complains about the sun often and verbally states every action he thinks and does. After a terrible song, Santa uses his deep sleeping telekinesis to get a group of kids, a dog, and even Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn (!). We are then treated to a montage/comedy trainwreck as clearly horrified real animals are pushed and hit into being the new reindeers. After everything fails, the kids get the Ice Cream Bunny (?) and his signature fire truck (??) to practically make out with Santa and drive him away. The End. Oh, and Tom and Huck just leave the viewer with their gaping mouths.




One hour and forty minutes. This abomination lasts that long. There's so much repetitive scenes and padding; One scene consists nothing but two minutes of extensive dog petting. The director's vision seems to be shoot one take and pray for the best. During the long, long introduction of the Ice Cream Bunny, the blind performer constantly jerks the truck and heads off into the grass. In one infamous edit, the dog runs next to the truck, stops in front of it to drink from a puddle which creates a scary near miss, only to jump cut with the dog leaping on to the vehicle. The entire audio was done in post-production, complete with wooden delivery and increasingly annoying songs done on kazoos. If you even think about insulting the "script" and the plot holes like why Santa doesn't just leave, the director gives you a hidden middle finger: a shot of a standing Santa with a large sweat stand on his butt.




I now have to go over the costumes of the two main characters. Santa Claus' outfit is serviceable but the beard is a Merlin-style long pillar. And, in another infamous moment, Santa breaks any still living suspension of disbelief by taking off the jacket and showing the viewer his normal red t-shirt and his grody middle-ageness. As for the Ice Cream Bunny suit, it is an utter travesty: The cheek bones are slanted, the creature has a permanent blowing mouth, every stitch and separation is clearly seen, the feet are misshapen and appear to be broken when "it" jumps and dances, and it can sexily wink and get it stuck.




Now, I was lying before. You see, this film doesn't fill the entire running time because there is another film in this film (!). Shoehorned oddly and badly in, a tortuous adaptation of Thumbellina takes up the middle section, further infuriating the suffering viewers who can't wait for the Ice Cream Bunny. I'm not going to go in detail about it since it has nothing to do with Christmas and just thinking about it recalls a deep traumatic time for me. I will state this though; This movie, complete with opening and closing credits (?), is about a girl in an amusement park promotional movie who attends and listens to a Thumbellina showcase which cuts in with the film adaptation. That's right, it's a movie within an educational tour within a movie within a movie.



There's nothing more to say. This is wasted celluloid.



TOMORROW'S ENTRY: OVER THE LINE! Who's up for bowling?

25 Days of Christmas Entertainment - Magic Christmas Tree (#4)

"It's too late now. You're my little boy now!"

- Giant



The youth of today is bombarded with lame 3D effects and big budget films of corpse properties. When it comes to children, it is easy money. While there is some much deserved disdain towards recent products, the children films during the 1950's and 60's are far more deserving to be judged for war crimes against humanity. Theaters often featured children matinees, an easy babysitting tool for desperate mothers and an anarchy of sugary thrills. These matinee screenings, sometimes with double or triple bills, were a kid's first experience with Russian Roulette; You might be greeted with a goofy Corman film or Magic Christmas Tree.



Magic Christmas Tree, there is no "The" in its credits, is one of the absolute worst films ever made. I'm not joking nor am I using the statement like a snarky user on a forum; Magic Christmas Tree is simply an abysmal dreck of American arts and culture. Even with the unbelievable running time of less than a hour, this film seemingly incorporates every single frame of footage shot, pureed into a confusing and irritating slop, and dubbed later by a bored sound director and his amateur-league actors.


This great merry Christmas film starts off on Halloween and is shot in black and white. A shrilly fat boy named Mark jump cuts his way through a conversation with his token friends. The hellion dares the two to walk near the house of the "old witch" in their neighborhood. When there, the witch grabs the little butterball and somehow gets him to go up a tree to get her cat, Lucifer. The boy plummets hard to the ground and dies. The end.


Oh wait, the film continues and now in low-grade color. We enter a clearly stated dream world as the boy talks with the "witch" who now is a real witch. She gives him a hideous Santa ring and a magic seed. Next comes the strangest magic concoction ever: With the seed and a wishbone from a Thanksgiving turkey, the chubby boy buries both in the yard, spins the ring around his finger three times, says a goofy phrase and boom it gives him a tree. An indestructible but pathetically skinny tree voiced by a drunk Charles Nelson Reilly impersonator and decorated with one-dollar decorations.



The film then becomes diesel-style nightmare fuel. The tree grants him three wishes: A "Hour of Power" where he becomes the Lathe of Heaven, the ability to hold Santa Claus hostage by having him permanently sitting down in a chair, and the obvious wish-it-all-away. Throughout this entirety, you experience some of the lowest depravity put to film. During the "Hour of Power", the viewer has to sit through a terribly choreographed chase scene with no rhythm or reason, all done in long shots. The Santa Claus is practically a robot, barely moving or even speaking out his silent lines. Thankfully, the film ends quickly after an infamous sequence where the kid wanders around a forest with a gun for three minutes and then gets assaulted by a tunic-wearing dirty man who wants him as his slave.



Magic Christmas Tree is a terrible experience to watch, even though the enormous amount of unintentional humor is truly fascinating. A fantastic example is when the family celebrates Thanksgiving. The father gives Mark only the wishbone he so desires and then gives his sister and mother real food. And just to surprise us even further, Mark gets ready to plant the bone only after taking a turtle out of a closed cabinet. Later in the film, after the father is unable to buy a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve (?), he rushes towards the other family members with an axe in his hand. Then there's all of the bad acting, audio synching errors, continuous continuity errors, and repetitive sound effects.



Simply sitting through the trailer of this film is a great test of fortitude. I can't possibly think what actually happened when this screened in front of children back in 1964. I hope William Castle was supervising the theaters, as you would need a nursing station and a certified insurance policy for Magic Christmas Tree.



TOMORROW'S ENTRY: It gets far, far worst. Another children matinee where Santa meets up with the worst mythical creature ever.

127 Hours - Review

High-octane, speed-fueled storytelling mixed with eccentric film editing can be entertaining when it fits in the right genre. In 127 HOURS, both of these elements do in fact work but only in the prologue where it is matched up with the superego of its main character. Once the giant rock crushes on to his hand and traps him in his "second place of home", director and co-writer Danny Boyle sadly continues his trademark cinematic pretentiousness and machine-gun artistic expressions to a full-bore. It is a major detriment and very annoying to the whole picture, especially since the film has a brilliant performance by James Franco and creates some great melodramatic thrills.

Going over the plot is not really necessary since it's simple and can be said in only a few sentences. Franco plays real-life mountain-man Aron Ralston, a hyper hiker who decides to go out into one of his favorite regions in Utah without notifying anyone. He falls down a crevice and gets his right hand jammed under a rock he used for support. After numerous ideas and plans throughout several days and nights, he finally resorts to a brutal separation of his arm and leaves for contact. It is a simple effective idea for the screen and it is kept to nicely tight 94 minutes.

However, Boyle's loony "look at me" direction contrasts against the real weight and drama of the story. He incorporates way too many long surreal flashbacks and alternate realities when only a selected few would work. There is a great bittersweet moment where Aron fantasizes about what his Sunday could have been: a secluded party, hanging out with a bunch of easy female prey, copious amounts of Mountain Dew and Mexican beer, all surrounded by a giant glowing Scooby-Doo. It fits with his testosterone-pumping buffoon lifestyle and continues his constant cravings for liquids. So, of course, Boyle has to hammer these two elements further down until it looks like Aron's severed arm. There is a totally useless plot involving a former flame that doesn't matter at all and numerous low-quality drink commercials implemented. He also keeps showcasing a couch like it's supposed to be really important and serious to the story. The crown-de-crap is his love for a three-stripe-framing structure used both for the credits and a torturous long segment in the middle.

Thankfully, he does settle down at times and lets James Franco take control of the proceedings. Franco is able to display a flurry of emotions even when he is just supposed to look tired and depressed. He maintains the existence of the human spirit during every harsh, exhausting moment Aron suffers from. Even with a scene that is highly flawed, such as when Boyle has him perform a recap done in a morning show style, Franco can make it work with an exceptional drive.

One of the best themes of the film that Boyle decided to include, and is actually brilliant, is how the overexposure of technology has reshaped modern humanity. Despite being at the canyons often, Aron still brings his two digital cameras. He just has to capture everything again and again instead of bringing more important items, such as a Swiss Army knife and a Gatorade bottle. Once stuck, the video camera is his only sanity left in check due to its ability to record reality. It becomes his friend, his audience, his masturbation tool. There is a great composed shot where Aron's face exists in three separate "realities": The side camera viewer, the iris viewer, and his own. After he breaks free, instead of leaving instantly for help and water, Aron is compelled to photograph his torture chamber.

It is aggravating that Boyle seems to care more about spreading his own ego further over the other factors of the film. He can and does pull off real-life drama and horror effectively, such as the much-hyped arm surgery scene. But Boyle's blunders with his new artistic trials set the film back. During the finale, he creates a genuinely beautiful piece of cinema accompanied by a great piece from A. R. Rahman. He then follows it up with another three-stripe frame, filled with fast motions and slow cut-up animations.

FINAL REVIEW: 3 / 5

25 Days of Christmas Entertainment - Ernest Saves Christmas (#3)

"Feathers! It's just feathers!"

- Joe Carruthers


"I KNOW it's feathers!"

- Santa Claus



Ernest P. Worrell has been a strange enigma for me. I loved the character as a child, nearly tearing the abused reels of the VHS tape of Ernest Goes to Camp. Shortly after Ernest Scared Stupid, I just reversed my thinking suddenly and gave a cold evil eye to his direct-to-video entries. Now as an adult, I should be wearing the rosy-colored nostalgia goggles but I still haven't given the character and his film series a full pardon. Ernest Saves Christmas has been the one with most trouble, as I have differed on my opinion often, both now and when I was a kid.



My current review, and hopefully final, is that Ernest Saves Christmas is simple dumb fluff. It has some really painful padding to it and annoyingly aggressive humor. At the same time, the film does have a good heart and is aware of its shortcomings.


Ernest is introduced as a taxi driver this time, who is lucky enough to pick up the real Santa Claus from the Orlando airport. He also picks up a street smart girl named Harmony Star, who says that her name is going to be famous. Oh, the sad sick jokes that come up from that line. Anyway, Santa Claus is in Orlando on a specific mission: to transfer the job and his magical powers to a former child television host named Joe Carruthers. Why he waited two days before Christmas is never explained. The movie then slows to a crawl into a High Noon rip-off with Santa acting very stupid, too many cut-aways to a B-plot with Ernest's recurring supporting players Bobby and Chuck, and a cameo from Vern until Ernest has to scream his way to save the holiday.



The film stretches to fill out a hour and a half running time. Despite the fact that Santa's original name is later found out to be Seth Applegate, he instead just has to be referred to as Santa and make himself look crazy. Harmony does nothing until she steals the magical bag for no real reason since she already found out that it only contains toys. The Bobby and Chuck storyline is a mobius strip of the same gag: reindeers fly on to the ceiling, Chuck jiggles his eyes and whines. The only truly likable character is Ernest, who spots potential problems and takes charge of the many situations. However, his mugging and lame comedy during the finale as he drives the sleigh is just a headache to endure.



Despite these plot holes and big errors in judgment, the film is an okay breeze until the end and is competently made. Douglas Seale, who's more well known as the Sultan in Aladdin, is a fine pick for Santa and he does well trying to bring sentimentality into the picture. I truly had more fun with Robert Lesser, who plays the agent of Joe. He has that perfect 80's slimeball touch as he hams up every scene. I also enjoy the plotline with the film within the film, "Christmas Sleigh/Slay." The best scene is when Santa walks into the test filming as if he's Norma Desmond. He beems a wide smile as he sees Joe overacts his emotions until a Christmas tree alien monster bursts in to attack him. And what better way to end this scene with Santa punching out the Jeff Daniels doppelganger director.



Ernest Saves Christmas has always been a rubberband movie for me. I enjoyed/hated it as a kid, and despised/slightly enjoyed it as an adult. I think the above quotes sum up the film; You can lambast it as nothing more than frivolous, but it's aware of its status. There isn't much harm.



TOMORROW'S ENTRY: Did I say slope? I meant an elevator shaft. We head into the harmful horrors of children matinees with a talking tree.

25 Days of Christmas Entertainment - In Bruges (#2)

"It's a fairytale town, isn't it? How's a fairytale town not somebody's fucking thing?"

- Harry Waters



With a look simply at this entry, you can kinda tell I was a bit desperate to find a film. This was the last entry picked for my schedule and I debated on whether to include it or not. I had other easier choices to make, including Bad Santa, but I wanted to have a challenge to write about and persuade others to see in the same light. This is the type of essay beloved by cinephiles, film scholars, and desperate college film students: viewing and discussing the hidden or possible unintentional motives and elements implemented in the mise en scene and plot.



In Bruges is not labeled or viewed as a Christmas film. It is a black, very black, comedy and takes place around the Christmas season but the holiday is not important to the plot. There are obvious and more interesting themes the film deals with than simply the celebration of the holiday. In Bruges is segregated off along with other films that have Christmas in the background, such as The Apartment, The Shop Around the Corner, and Meet Me in St. Louis. However, you can make a case that In Bruges and these other films are true Christmas films. For instance, Meet Me in St. Louis has one of the most popular Christmas songs featured in the film and also has a Christmas deus ex machina as with It's a Wonderful Life. But In Bruges has its Christmas intentions well-hidden for inital viewers but easy to spot for repeat viewers.


Two hitmen, Ken and Ray (Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell), are sent to Bruges, Belgium to lay low and remain there for two weeks after a hit goes bad. Ken enjoys the scenery and the culture while Ray loathes the environment, constantly calling the city a "shithole" and wishes to leave. It is later revealed why Ray is in such a funk: During his assassination of a priest, he accidently killed a little boy. Despite partaking in vices and falling for a local lady, he still suffers greatly and becomes even more depressed. Ken, on the other hand, hides the fact that he is instructed to kill Ray by their boss Harry Waters (Ralph Fiennes).



What Martin McDonagh, the film's writer-director and a popular playwright, wants to get across to the viewer is that Bruges is either purgatory or hell. The two companions often talk about their mortality and morality. They are unable to leave both by order of Harry and powers they can't control. The world of Bruges is very surreal, with many mentions and allusions to the artwork of Bosch. The tense conversations and relationship between Ken and Harry are a model of God and the Devil, the idea of forgiveness versus punishment.


While all of this talk of the afterlife and sins are showcased in the front, the background displays multiple Christmas paraphernalia and lighting schemes. The most clear example is the date of Ray and local girl Chloe; They eat a restaurant with a rich red, green, and white palette. The city is very banal in its outside celebration of the holiday until the finale where the lights are out and bright. This finale seems to be on the day of Christmas due to this switch. There is no definite proof of this since there is no mention of what day it is, further helping the purgatory element. Also, despite a tight script, the time and places of events are bungled up in discussions.



When you further look at the script, you notice that McDonagh did utilize Christmas to be woven into the plot, seemingly well intentional. The trip to Bruges is supposed to hide the hitmen but, in Harry's mind, it is also a present and a gift for Ray before he is killed. Harry goes on several times talking about his love for the city, that it is a fairytale town. He states that his visit as a boy was the most happiest time of his life. Of course, the humor of this is that Ray hates the city, the best example of an unwanted present. Ray does however receive a gift in Chloe, as he does sees life better with her at the end. Though he still does want to get out of Bruges.



A very funny yet dark running joke in the film involves the presence of Americans in Bruges during the Christmas time. An extensive viewer of Christmas films easily knows that there is often a conservative attitude toward American travelers around the holiday: It is acceptable to travel around America but heading out of the country is frowned upon. The Home Alone films and the truly awful Christmas with the Kranks are prime examples. McDonagh may have been aware of this as his American characters are killed off during the film. The first one is a morbidly obese man who is insulted by Ray before walking up a church tower. When Ken and Harry come back to tower for a showdown, they are stopped from entering due to death of the man off-screen. The second death is Jimmy, an American dwarf type-casted in a euro trash art film. He sadly suffers during the finale between Ray and Harry. The only American who seems to get away, a character played by Zeljko Ivanek, is later found out to be Canadian.


Then, there is the pink elephant of film. The hotel where Ken and Ray stay at is owned by a woman named Marie. She owns the place with her husband who we never see. The viewer does see that she is clearly pregnant. It is obvious to point the analogy between Marie and the Virgin Mary. This connection is further helped by the interviews with the actors, who all state that Marie represents "the promise, the hope" of the world.



I'm aware that some will laugh about this extensive study but this new look at the film made me enjoy it further. Not all Christmas films must have their intentions and principles at the front. They can be "silent", celebrating the holiday subtly while also making the world a lot more depressing. You can look at the final lines of the film; Ray doesn't bring up the hell metaphor first, but that he has ruined some one's Christmas as "There's a Christmas tree somewhere in London with a bunch of presents underneath it that'll never be opened."



TOMORROW'S ENTRY: Enough of this academic crap! We head down the long slope of mediocrity with a film that Vern doesn't want to see again.

25 Days of Christmas Entertainment - The Ref (#1)

"Connecticut is the fifth ring of Hell."

- Gus



As a kid, I often went to only two movie theaters to see the latest attractions. The most treasured of the two for me was a place called Cine 10, a small little theater with ten screens in the middle of a popular mall strip parking lot. It was often quiet and low in attendance but held up for a while before eventually closing in 2000. The theater was the dumping grounds of recent films, a place where late or cheap viewers and families can see a film before playing the waiting VHS game. I always hold it dearly cause it was the place where I fell in love with movie poster artwork, with the two best examples being the art-deco inspired The Rocketeer and the strange is-it-funny-or-horror? of Army of Darkness.


In 1993, while I was waiting for the feature film to play, I was greeted with a trailer that left an impact on me more so than the crappy main attraction. It was teaser for a film and it focused on a tall, goatee individual talking in front of a singing boys' choir. He was shouting out rapid-fire jabs at the Christmas holiday, bashing good will and fruitcake and wanted to focus on the important issues like getting the G.I. Joe with kung-fu grip. He then screamed at the kids to shut up before looking back with a smug expression. This was my first look at the comedian Denis Leary and The Ref.



Instead of being released around November or December, The Ref wasn't unleashed to the public until March 9, 1994. I didn't see it until my early teenage years and even till then, it took myself awhile just to figure out the easy to solve title. Yes, I was that stupid, thinking a ref was a slang term for a cat burglar.


The Ref was pretty much the best and most popular example of the anti-Christmas Christmas film until the later release of Bad Santa. As displayed in its teaser, done in the style of Leary's then-noteworthy MTV character, it shows the absolute moral corruption and general hatred of family and friends during the holiday season and that the gift and money only matters. However, the film also negates this thesis to explore what people really need in their life just to survive and keep their love alive.


Denis Leary plays Gus, a cat burglar who botches his escape after a heist in a rich Connecticut suburb. Left alone by his getaway driver, he takes a married couple hostage only to realize he chose poorly. Lloyd and Caroline Chasseur (Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis) have just came from a bitter meeting with their marriage counselor, on Christmas Eve no less, and they can't stop bickering and fighting. Even with constant threats of using his gun and tying them up all over their household, Gus is still forced to endure their spewing as his escape options dwindle further. To make matters worse, they have company coming for Christmas dinner.



The film is filled with a heavily mocking tone toward the appearance of Christmas, specifically the ideal location of it in the New England area. The opening consists of dolly and crane shots done in slow-motion around Christmas stereotypes (nativity scene, toy-shop window, charity bell-ringer). It looks like an out-of-date setting, straight out of a Hallmark card or a Norman Rockwell painting. Only till we zoom inside of the marriage counselor's office do we see the despair lying underneath. This hidden and volatile despair carries over the entire film as the majority of the film takes place indoors with people packed close together. It also follows the falling mental state of Caroline as she suffers from the friction between "being alive" and the suffocation.



Though screenwriters Richard LaGravenese and Marie Weiss wrote this specifically for the film screen, they actually seem to have made a theatrical play instead. Gus's inability to leave the Chasseur house and the town and his insistence of not letting anybody else leave draws similarities to the existential play No Exit. They also create the biggest suspense of the film not from Gus being allowed to leave but from the arrival of Lloyd's mother, played exceptionally by Glynis Johns. She is treated the same way as the famous theater character Tartuffe; Caroline and Lloyd argue over her moral status until the audience is finally treated to her in the second half. However, her entrance is ruined in a way by showing her along with rest of the Chasseur family in brief but humorous scenes as they head to the house.



There are some problems to the picture though. The viewer is treated to some outside storylines away from Gus and the Chasseurs that ultimately just end without much tension. They do bring up the moral corruption within the town, such as the very funny plot with the Lieutenant of the volunteer police force, but they don't impact the main protagonists except for one involving a trick-and-treating Santa Claus. The film's biggest error is the son of the Chasseurs, Jesse. He is simply a tool for the story, serving as the collateral for Gus over the Chasseurs and shoe-horning another moral at the end.


Of course, all this dramatic dissection of this film is a little much, though the film is very melodramatic in the second half. The Ref is always hilarious with its venomous one-liners and sour demeanor. Ted Demme's direction is well executed, with deliberate framing and staging to bring an extra force to the performances. A special mention also has to go to Christine Baranski, who plays the sister-in-law of Lloyd. She draws some of the biggest laughs as a mother easily seen now-a-days: willing to insult and hit their children in public but perfect in private. If you're looking for an alternate to Bad Santa and want to see Denis Leary during his prime years, make sure to check this film out. Especially with the family around.



TOMORROW'S ENTRY: Is there such a thing as a silent Christmas film? We head to a city in Belgium to see if it's true.