I was going to start this review with the usual fanboy introduction; talk about my love for the animated series, growing up with it, buying the toys, etc. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero is still a favorite of mine despite some stupid decisions (no one liked Serpentor) and the problems surrounding the animated movie. Like a lot of people, I have held a grudge against this film since seeing the awful teaser trailers and an expanded look at the Paris chase scene. I had the perfect last sentence of this intro; I was going to say that the worst episode of the animated series was better than this film (for curious readers, it's "Cobra Claws Are Coming to Town").
However, G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA is surprisingly an entertaining action film that simply wants to be nothing more than an entertaining action film. It doesn't push comedy over action like the awful TRANSFORMERS sequel; it lays close to the roots of previous endeavors and makes a lot of tribute lines ("Hey, you have real hair,....and kung fu grip."). Why did Paramount wanted this to stay away from critics instead of TRANSFORMERS? That one was a colossal waste of technology, time and money.
The film starts off with a bizarre prologue in 1641 France. I literally looked around and thought that I was watching a deleted scene from the director Stephen Sommers' bomb-tastic previous film, VAN HELSING. After this odd beginning, the film kicks in with soldiers Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) tasked with transporting a missile-like weapon capable of "eating steel." After being bum-rushed by a Cobra team led by Duke's old flame The Baroness (Sienna Miller), the Joe team arrives and saves the day but after many soldiers have died. Really great timing I must say. So, the two join the crew and engage in a series of fire-fights and destruction. Unfortunately, all of these later hostile fights are done manly with computer animation.
G.I. JOE does rely on tons of CGI but what shows isn't very good. Some scenes look obviously green-screened and the polish and details of flying vehicles are missing. The worst offender of it is the infamous chase sequence, where all of the destruction is very jerky and characters look like something out of a second-rate video game. The also infamous acceleration suits, designed by Stan Winston's studio, is the reason for the look of the later and thankfully it is shown and used only once.
While the special effects disappoint, the real blood of this film really is the characters. All of the actors just play them just right without the ham or campiness. It might be a bummer for Cobra Commander fans who still crave for a remodeling of Chris Latta's great V.O., but it simply works. Marlon Wayans was the real surprise for me, as he makes Ripcord very likable and not another annoying comedic sidekick he usually plays in other films. Tatum is fine as Duke, Dennis Quaid fits the look of Joe leader Hawk, and Rachel Nichols does well with Scarlett. But the best actor is certainly Joseph Gordon-Levitt; he has been a favorite of mine since BRICK but with this role he may finally get some general public appeal. He creates a great voice for Cobra Commander and his subtle body language are a treat. Another fan favorite, Snake Eyes, is pulled off well by Ray Park.
However, many directional decisions do hurt a significant part. The script creates a good flow of action but nearly drops it in the second half for the lame melodrama between Duke and Baroness. This also ruins many set-ups in the first half; they build up a grudge between the Baroness and Scarlett for a final fight but it never happens. Weird short flashbacks are intercutted only to display generic backstories (though the fight between child Snake Eyes and child Storm Shadow was good). The final problem is the finale; the last battle just ends after the Destro character becomes Destro and Cobra Commander is born through a weird mask.
The only other thing to mention is the violence. For a PG-13 film, there is a lot of things I was surprised made the cut. I have nothing against violence and gore, Peter Jackson's DEAD ALIVE is a personal favorite, but it is really shocking. Eyes and heads are stabbed, heads are blown off, many soldiers die, and, again to mention, the Paris chase has a lot of civilians absolutely getting killed. This dark attitude is personified when Scarlett keeps mentioning for soldiers to get kills instead of misses.
Even with some major flaws and plot holes, G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA is an engaging summer blockbuster. It's not the serious mind-raping of TRANSFORMERS, but it's not a perfect introduction. It is simply a good start for a franchise. Now please, for the sequel, bring in Flint, Lady Jaye, and Shipwreck. I'm begging you.
FINAL REVIEW: 3 / 5
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