Friday, January 30, 2015

What's Next on Netflix? - Week 4 of 2015



Want to find out what movies are heading to Netflix Streaming? I got your back.


Upcoming Netflix Streaming Titles

1/30 - Frida

1/31 - Horns, Salvo

2/1 - Along Came Polly, Borderland, The Brothers Bloom, Bulletproof, Cecil B. Demented, Coach Carter, Crazy Eights, Dark Ride, The Deaths of Ian Stone, Diggstown, Gimme Shelter (2014), Hot Pursuit, Houseboat, Joe, King Arthur, Lake Dead, Lars and the Real Girl, Mulberry Street, Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult, Next Stop Wonderland, Nightmare Man, Proof (2005), Starship Troopers, Unearthed (2007), We Could Be King, We're No Angels (1989), Wicked Little Things

2/5 - The Little Rascals Save the Day

2/7 - Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead, Elsa & Fred, Life of a King

2/8 - Blood Ties, Pete's Christmas

2/11 - Mr. Peabody & Sherman

2/12 - Scary Movie 5, The Two Faces of January, Young Ones

2/13 - Bad Turn Worse

2/17 - The Overnighters

2/18 - Earth to Echo, In Secret

2/19 - Life's a Breeze, White Bird in a Blizzard

2/21 - RoboCop (2014)



What to Watch This Week

You could give Horns a try tomorrow, even though the horror-dramedy was vilified by both critics and viewers. However, you should spend the next 24+ hours catching up on any films set to expire on 2/1 (I have The 'Burbs and School Daze!). Then on Sunday, any and all people who loathe football can sift through the new batch of old titles. Of the films listed above, I highly recommend Starship Troopers, the cult sci-fi flick that royally pissed off Roger Ebert and fans of the original book; too bad these sticks in the mud couldn't enjoy the violent action, biting satire, and brilliant direction by Paul Verhoeven.



New Streaming Titles I Previously Forgot to Mention

Brad Anderson returns to horror with the Poe-inspired Stonehearst Asylum; forgettable Donnie Yen fantasy marital arts film Iceman; and that awful Katie Holmes-starring adaptation of "The Seagull", which quickly passed through theaters last year, Days and Nights.


I'll see you again next Friday.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Trailer Review - The Fantastic Four (2015)





The Fantastic Four aka Fant4stic
Teaser Trailer
Watch It Here


Person of Interest: Miles Teller as bespectacled Mr. Fantastic , Kate Mara as computer expert/hacker Invisible Woman, Michael B. Jackson as car mechanic Human Torch, Jaime Bell as baseball-playing The Thing.

Scene Pop: Any of the Nolanesque shots. Spoiler: they all are!

Briggs Breakdown: 2 "Flame on!"'s, 1 invisible shield, 1 failed experiment, several dead soldiers, the birth of The Thing, and rampant "homaging".

Effective?: Technically, it should be labeled as a fine teaser but anyone can see this and call foul at its blatant cribbing of Christopher Nolan's vision.

Check it Out?: Wait out the first weekend and see. It could be a okay film but given the utter lack of any info on the project before this trailer hit, the further growing backlash for some of its creative decisions, and this "we want to be Nolan" style being displayed here has me grumbling.






Monday, January 26, 2015

Trailer Review - Dead Rising: Watchtower





Dead Rising: Watchtower
Teaser Trailer
Watch It Here


Person of Interest: Jesse Metcalfe as Not Frank West, Dennis Haysbert as a random army sergeant, and Rob Riggle as Frank West.

Scene Pop: Nothing.

Briggs Breakdown: Zombrex, a Psychopath, a combinable super-weapon, a Servbot t-shirt, zombie construction worker, axe-wielding zombie clown, and a crowd of generic zombies.

Effective?: No. Can't hide the low budget nature of the whole project. And where in the hell is the titled watchtower?!

Check it Out?: A total skip, unless you're a video game fan. Keep in mind, this was directed by the same guy who made Leprechaun: Origins! It's going to be streaming on Crackle for free on March 27, so you thankfully don't have to fork over any money for it.








Friday, January 23, 2015

What's Next on Netflix? - Week 3 of 2015



Want to find out what movies are heading to Netflix Streaming? I got your back.


Upcoming Netflix Streaming Titles

1/24 - The Interview

1/25 - Repentance

1/27 - Gloria (2012)

1/28 - Chef

1/30 - Frida

1/31 - Horns, Salvo

2/1 - Along Came Polly, Borderland, The Brothers Bloom, Bulletproof, Cecil B. Demented, Coach Carter, Crazy Eights, Dark Ride, The Deaths of Ian Stone, Diggstown, Gimme Shelter (2014), Hot Pursuit, Houseboat, Joe, King Arthur, Lake Dead, Lars and the Real Girl, Mulberry Street, Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult, Next Stop Wonderland, Nightmare Man, Proof (2005), Starship Troopers, Unearthed (2007), We Could Be King, We're No Angels (1989), Wicked Little Things

2/5 - The Little Rascals Save the Day

2/7 - Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead, Elsa & Fred, Life of a King

2/8 - Blood Ties, Pete's Christmas

2/11 - Mr. Peabody & Sherman

2/12 - Young Ones

2/13 - Bad Turn Worse

2/17 - The Overnighters

2/18 - Earth to Echo, In Secret

2/19 - Life's a Breeze, White Bird in a Blizzard

2/21 - RoboCop (2014)



What to Watch This Week

It's pretty obvious: The Interview. Even though the movie was mostly vilified by critics, the sheer notoriety of the picture will have everybody clicking the "Play" button, all the while pissing off those that forked over 8 bucks to see it online in late December. If you don't like to experience a bawdy comedy that nearly caused North Korea to go nuclear, you can instead wait till Wednesday and view Chef, Jon Favearu's roman à clef of his own life, by way of professional cooking. This movie was a sleeper hit last year and had many craving for some delicious food once the credits roll.



New Streaming Titles I Previously Forgot to Mention

Rowan Atkinson's Bond parody returns with Johnny English Reborn; PBS and BBC can enjoy re-watching the Jane Austen fan-fiction Death Comes to Pemberley; John Cusack slums again in the thriller The Bag Man; Patton Oswalt's latest concert special Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time; and the original Swedish version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo returns.


I'll see you again next Friday.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Poster Review - January 2015


Man, I haven't done one of these since May. Oh well, what can do? Now then, let's check out some posters for movies coming out this year.




I was giving out on this during my winter movie season article and I can't stop my ire. The movie will surely bomb hard this weekend, even more so that Blackhat's $4 million premiere pull. Seriously, who would see this poster (including kids) in the lobby and honestly say, "Yes, I want to see this nondescript, ugly troll movie."




I agree with everyone else: this is a pretty awesome teaser.




Now, I'm still not won over by this found footage horror movie, but this poster is bold. It cleverly informs you of the key plot points while also retaining the film's dark view at the internet age and the sociology of teenagers online.




A great twist on the fairly generic Truman Show model.




This poster had many nerds salivating, solely because of the presence of Freddy's Power Gloved Glove from Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare. It's boyishly cool but after you sit through the trailer, you will begin to hate seeing this poster again.




Ah, another terribly photoshopped poster for a Hollywood comedy. What's wrong with Tom Wilkinson? What's Dave Franco looking at? Also, we can tell there are on a business trip because they are wearing suits and Franco is carrying around a backpack. Why did you need to include a giant airplane? Why couldn't you just bring the European background far more forward?




Trying to invoke horror movie posters of yesteryears a la Rosemary's Baby, it's severely undercut by the prominent PG-13 rating and the boring Twitter handle. And what is with the "U"?




Pretty damn striking. It will certainly win for Best Twitter Handle for a Movie come next January.




The movie is sure to be terrible but I just absolutely love this and the other variants.

Friday, January 16, 2015

What's Next on Netflix? - Week 2 of 2015



Want to find out what movies are heading to Netflix Streaming? I got your back.


Upcoming Netflix Streaming Titles

1/16 - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, The Adventures of Puss in Boots (New Dreamworks Animation Exclusive Series)

1/21 - Barefoot

1/25 - Repentance

1/27 - Gloria (2012)

1/28 - Chef

1/31 - Horns, Salvo

2/1 - Along Came Polly, Borderland, Bulletproof, Cecil B. Demented, Coach Carter, Crazy Eights, Dark Ride, The Deaths of Ian Stone, Diggstown, Hot Pursuit, Joe, Lake Dead, Lars and the Real Girl, Mulberry Street, Nightmare Man, Starship Troopers, Unearthed (2007), Wicked Little Things

2/8 - Pete's Christmas

2/12 - Young Ones




What to Watch This Week

You should pretty much stick with the titles premiering today. For the adults, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is a very chilling espionage mystery, as retired spy George Smiley is quietly called back in to investigate which member of the British Intelligence's inner circle is a mole for the Soviets. Gary Oldman delivers a great turn as Smiley (which was justifiably), and helps lead off an amazing cast, including two breakthrough performances by Tom Hardy and Benedict Cumberbatch. For the kiddies, they get to enjoy The Adventures of Puss in Boots, curtosey of Dreamworks Animation. The third exclusive online show to premiere as part of Netflix and Dreamworks' special partnership (the other two being a Turbo continuation and a show around King Julien from Madagascar), this obviously follows the popular fairy tale character presumably after his spin-off movie. Alas, Antonio Banderas may not be voicing the character.



New Streaming Titles I Previously Forgot to Mention

Oftentimes, I'm not made aware of certain titles that pop up on the platform. So for those films I neglected to notify here, I have chosen to create this section to bring them to your attention. Please note that this is just the films what I wish to highlight; for the full complete list, check out Instant Watcher's "New" section.

Ava DuVernay's first feature film I Will Follow; the dreadful kids superhero movie Zoom: Academy for Superheroes; The Asylum chucks out another mockbuster with Ardennes Fury, their take on the recent David Ayer film; and a bunch of terrible Lifetime Original Movies including the non-Sofia-Coppola-directed The Bling Ring and modern disasterpiece Liz & Dick.


I'll see you again next week.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Initial Reaction to the Oscar Nominations


Wow, a lot of controversy ready to brew in the next hour or so.


Before I talk about my own personal problem, let's take care of the big one first: Selma. I still haven't seen the picture but by all accounts, it was one of the best films of last year. And it gets just two, Best Picture and Song? Are you kidding me? Everybody's to blame for this slight: the generally white body of the Academy, those who engineered the smeer campaign about it's supposed historical inaccuaries about LBJ, and those who were lazy enough to not only get a screener, but couldn't get their wrinkled bottoms up to go to a free screening of it.


Now, my time to rant: How did The Lego Movie not get a nom for Best Animated Feature? It makes no logical sense other than the theory that the Academy hated its basis as a feature film devoted to a toy product. I very glad Song of the Sea and Princess Yaguya were able to contend with Hollywood here but the fact that the highly disappointing How to Train Your Dragon 2 got in over my favorite film of the year, and one of the extremely few animated films to be on many critics' "best of" lists, just makes me want to break stuff. Everything is NOT awesome.


Other people foaming at the mouths other than David Oyelowo: Jake Gyllenhaal, Ralph Fiennes, Timothy Spall, Amy Adams, Tom Wilkinson, Tilda Swinton and Rene Russo.


Life Itself was not included in Best Documentary. Why does the Academy loathe Steve James so, so much?


Gone Girl gets only one, which granted is the only one that truly matters, the Best Actress nom for Rosamund Pike. But still, not even for Gillian Flynn's twisty script?


Force Majeure taken out of the race for Best Foreign Language Film by a fruity-named pic.


No amount of acclaim could give any love to A Most Violent Year, including a nom for Jessica Chastain.


I knew The Immigrant would be snubbed, but Under the Skin too?


Make a boring slog of an interesting sports topic and do not receive a nomination for Best Picture. Yeah, let's give Benedict Miller a slot in the Best Director race. He's like Robert Altman, right? How does this make any sense?


Robert Duvall only nominated because of the foagie vote. He's clearly not going to win so why waste it on that forgettable movie?


Nightcrawler getting Best Screenplay. Don't make me laugh.


"Dick Poop" for Best Cinematography. We now have a new major lowlight in Oscar broadcasting history.


Now, to break up my monotonous ramble-rousing, let's look on the bright side of the nominations, shall we?


Marion Cotillard gets the dark horse spot in the Best Actress, giving her the possibility of once-again spoiling another front-runner from receiving the award. I'm also glad she snatched it away from Jennifer Aniston, for her movie that no one will be talking about ever again.


The Grand Budapest Hotel leads with Birdman for most nominations but is more likely to be the bigger winner.


Laura Dern finally got her first Oscar nomination! As did Emma Stone!


Feast is sure to easily win Best Animated Short.



That's all I can muster right now. But again, just wow at the many blown opportunities.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Initial Reaction to the Razzie Nominations


Same as last year, I'm going to be cheering/sneering at the Razzies noms. And, once again, the Razzie committee went for more low-hanging fruit instead of picking out more of the truly worst of the worst.


First off, the immaturity of the organization got a justifiable slacking before today, when their shortlist of nominations was previously announced and many criticized them for using a vulgar slur towards the transgender community when poking fun of Michael Bay's Transformers 4.


Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas thankfully was given multiple awards, but I do have some issues. Darren Doane's awful acting wasn't "rewarded" with a nom, yet Bridgette Ridenour (aka Kirk's sister) got nominated despite hardly doing anything in the movie.


Blended was at the bottom of my Worst of 2014 list but I had no problems with Sandler and Barrymore this time around. Shaq, on the other hand, definitely had a bad performance but he was more of a glorified cameo, especially when you compare it to his major supporting role in Grown Ups 2.


Charlize Theron has no right to be a possible winner for Worst Actress.


Poor Kelsey Grammer got unfair treatment this year. He was genuinely good in The Expendables 3 and Transformers 4. Plus, he was barely in Think Like a Man Too, only appearing in two quick shots! As for Legends of Oz, I still haven't gotten around to that weirdo animated film.


Speaking of Grammer and his category, the Worst Supporting Actor lot is complete bogus. Gibson was charismatically creepy in his role, Shaq and Scharwz hardly made a blip in their roles, and Kiefer Sutherland was deliberately campy in his role.


Megan Fox was placed in the Worst Supporting Actress category, despite her character being front and center the entire running time!


This year, the Razzies have a new temporary category: The Razzie Redeemer Award. It's specifically designed to give one of the awards' favorite punching bags a pat on their back, for their drive to move on to better projects and turn their luck and career around. It obviously has to go to Ben Affleck, surely.


Now, for my snub rants: Nothing for God's Not Dead, seriously? No fun category for the large collection of Christian crap that came out? Atlas Shrugged: Part III gets only one nom? Where's Kenneth Branagh? No A Haunted House 2 or Winter's Tale?


So yeah, the really bad films got some real trashy love this time around but I still wish and hope the Razzies can start avoiding the easy ones and/or those who scarcely did anything.

Friday, January 9, 2015

What's Next on Netflix? - Intro



Want to find out what movies are heading to Netflix Streaming? I got your back.


This is the start of a brand new ongoing feature on this website. Every week, I will be presenting a calendar of the feature films that are set to premiere on Netflix instant streaming service. Sorry fans of Hulu and Crackle, I'm not a big fan of those platforms.


So how do I have this info? It's a bit simple if you do your research. First off, there are some websites like The Huffington Post and Den of Geek that post just one article about the next month of streaming titles heading to Netflix. I get some of the info from these lists but they often don't have a fully accurate list of upcoming releases. Secondly, one thing I like to do in my spare time, also as a way to discourage myself from picking up DVDs from the local library or used stores, is to go through the Netflix site and find out any streaming notices buried away into the details. You might notice from time to time that there's a note like "Streaming - (??/??/??)" under "Format" when hovering your mouse over a title's picture, or see a date listed under "Availability".

To show you as an example, here's what pops up when you hover over the picture of the movie Chef.



And here's the "Availability" notification when you search for the title.



Now granted, not everything I have listed below, plus in all future installments, is 100% guaranteed. Sometimes, a rights issue or something else entirely might suddenly come up and prevent a film's premiere. Also, Netflix tends to throw a curveball every now and then, like when the movie Snowpiercer premiered nearly a month early from its scheduled date last year. So basically, get hyped but be cautious that the rug may be pulled.


Now without further ado, let's see what I have noted so far:


Upcoming Netflix Streaming Titles

1/10 - Automata

1/13 - Bird People, Wetlands

1/15 - Kids for Cash

1/16 - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, The Adventures of Puss in Boots (New Dreamworks Animation Exclusive Series)

1/21 - Barefoot

1/25 - Repentance

1/28 - Chef

1/31 - Horns, Salvo

2/1 - Along Came Polly, Borderland, Cecil B. Demented, Coach Carter, Crazy Eights, Dark Ride, The Deaths of Ian Stone, Hot Pursuit, Joe, Lake Dead, Lars and the Real Girl, Mulberry Street, Nightmare Man, Starship Troopers, Unearthed (2007), Wicked Little Things

2/12 - Young Ones




What to Watch This Week

If you are looking to catch up with some movies from 2014, you have two noteworthy ones coming out on Tuesday. That is, if you like movies that are experimental, offbeat, and bold with their narrative form. Wetlands was one of the most daring films of the year, where a German teenage girl sets herself to be "a living pussy hygiene experiment". Anal fissures, other gross extremities, and some coming of age material ensue. Not for everyone but cinephiles will be looking forward to it. You also have Bird People, which premiered at Cannes last year to some mild praise. Josh Charles stars as the American-equivalent of Locke, as he recklessly decides to quit everything in his life (job, wife, etc.). He holes himself up in his hotel room and later runs into the film's second plot line, involving a French hotel maid.


I'll see you again next week, with an updated calendar and another week of picks.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Trailer Review - Ant-Man





Ant-Man
Teaser Trailer
Watch It Here


Person of Interest: Paul Rudd as Scott Lang aka Ant-Man II, Michael Douglas as the narrating Hank Pym, Corey Stoll as Not-Lex Luthor aka Darren Cross, Evangeline Lilly as some woman, the hair of Judy Greer, and Michael Pena as guy with gun.

Scene Pop: The "huh", which feels extremely out of place, seems to be ADRed, and sinks all of the pompous seriousness Marvel Studios wanted to achieve.

Briggs Breakdown: A window kill, prison brawl, martial art kick to the gut, random gunfire, random panic, and a getaway flying ant.

Effective?: Meh.

Check it Out?: A matinee viewing. As already stated, the super serial tone to this teaser is very laughable, even with the lampshading final note. I'm also getting some Green Lantern-like bad vibes, with its aggressive approach to making a traditional comedic actor appear to be a manly action hero, the generic musical score, and lack of any real heroics. The upcoming official trailer for it better have a mighty kick to it because this looks to really be Marvel Studios' first misstep.










Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Film List of 2014


These are all of the movies I have watched throughout last year and were qualified to be judged for my awards.

If I didn't watch a film at all or in its entirety, it is disqualified and ineligible. There were a ton of movies that I couldn't get access to and/or make the time for, which is very sad given how amazing last year's output was. A few examples of films I wanted to see but couldn't before the mandated deadline were Inherent Vice, Life Itself, Birdman, Interstellar, The Immigrant, The Babadook, Cold in July, The Guest, Dear White People, Starred Up and Only Lovers Left Alive.


300: Rise of an Empire
Alan Partridge
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
As Above, So Below
Atlas Shrugged: Part III
Bang Bang!
Big Hero 6
Blended
Blue Ruin
The Boxcar Children
Boyhood
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Devil's Due
Divergent
Draft Day
Edge of Tomorrow
Enemies Closer
The Equalizer
The Expendables 3
The Fault In Our Stars
Force Majeure
Foxcatcher
Fury
God's Not Dead
Godzilla
Gone Girl
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Grand Piano
Guardians of the Galaxy
A Haunted House 2
Heaven Is For Real
Hercules
How To Train Your Dragon 2
I, Frankenstein
Into the Storm
Into the Woods
Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Jersey Boys
Jodorowsky's Dune
John Wick
Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas
Kite
Knights of Badassdom
Left Behind
The Legend of Hercules
The Lego Movie
Leprechaun: Origins
Life After Beth
Locke
Lucy
A Million Ways to Die in the West
The Monuments Men
Muppets Most Wanted
Need for Speed
Neighbors
Nightcrawler
The November Man
Nurse
The Nut Job
Obvious Child
Oculus
The One I Love
Open Grave
The Other Woman
Planes: Fire & Rescue
Pompeii
The Purge: Anarchy
The Quiet Ones
The Raid 2
Raze
Rio 2
Road to Paloma
RoboCop
The Rover
Sabotage
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
Snowpiercer
Son of God
Sparks
Stage Fright
Tarzan
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
They Came Together
Think Like a Man Too
Transcendence
Transformers: Age of Extinction
Under the Skin
Vampire Academy
A Walk Among The Tombstones
Welcome to the Jungle
Whiplash
Willow Creek
Winter's Tale
Wrinkles



Overall Count: 96 Films

Film Quotes of 2014


These are some of the choice quotes from the films of 2014, from the ones that had everyone repeating, to the ones that thrilled us at the art of dialogue, to some personal favorites.

WARNING: Some spoilers abound!




Alan Partridge
You don't know "Banged Up Abroad"?



Atlas Shrugged: Part III
(slow motion) I'll be back, you SON OF A BITCH!



Big Hero 6
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?
Are you satisfied with your care?
(fist-bump) Bah-la-la-la-la!



Blue Ruin
The one with the gun gets to tell the truth.
The keys are in the car...



Boyhood
Why don't you say goodbye to that little horse shit attitude?
Life doesn't give you bumpers.
I just thought there would be more.



Captain America: The Winter Soldier
(whispers) Hail Hydra.



Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Apes not kill apes.



Draft Day
Say it with me, you pancake-eating motherfucker!



Foxcatcher
Wrestling is a low sport, and I don't like seeing you low.
Ornithologist, philatelist, philanthropist.



Fury
Best job I ever had.
Ideals are peaceful. History is violent.



Godzilla
Let them fight.



Gone Girl
We're so cute. I wanna punch us in the face.



The Grand Budapest Hotel
I go to bed with all of my friends.



Guardians of the Galaxy
I am Groot.
Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?
Do not call me a thesaurus!
Who put the sticks up their butts?
You're...making...me...kick...dirt!
They got my dick message!
Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.
We're just like Kevin Bacon.
Metaphor.



Into the Woods
I was raised to be charming, not sincere.



The Legend of Hercules
You're bringing the wrath of Zeus down on me, BOY?!



The Lego Movie
Honey, where are my paaaaaaants?
I super hate you.
Business, Business, Business, Numbers. Is this working?
I know it sounds like a cat poster but it's true.
SPACESHIP!!!
You don't have to be the bad guy.
We are from the Planet Duplo, and we're here to destroy you.



Nightcrawler
My motto is if you want to win the lottery, you've got to make money to buy a ticket.



Snowpiercer
Know your place. Keep your place. Be a shoe!
They have no bullets!
Chrono?
I know that babies taste the best.



Stage Fright
All of life's a song to sing, so sing with all your heart.



They Came Together
You like fiction books?



Transformers: Age of Extinction
My face is my warrant.
Sweetie, hand me my alien gun!



Whiplash
Were you rushing or were you dragging?
There are no two words in the English language more harmful than "good job".