Friday, March 16, 2018

The Hurricane Heist - Review




A massive hurricane is set to descend upon the coastal region of Alabama, which provides the perfect opportunity for a group of robbers to snatch up millions of dollars from the bunker of an U.S. Treasury building. A female special agent (Maggie Grace) teams up with a headstrong meteorologist (Toby Kebbell) and his suped-up weather vehicle to stop the greedy rogues from driving off with their ill-gained untraceable haul. THE HURRICANE HEIST is sheer dumb fun, the kind of entertainment that director Rob Cohen used to scoop out with ease. The script is ripped straight out of the recesses of 90s actionsploitation, brimming with crash-bang-boom theatrics that are laughably extravagant and jovial banter with a hint of wit that would make Steven E. de Souza a little envious. Characterization is very limited or stolen whole clothed (dig that TWISTER "inspired" prologue) but the film thankfully skips over much of the tiresome tragic backstories of the main duo. Cohen and the film writers would rather keep the energy of the audience high via some spirited debates between the protagonists about football and proper peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or embarking on nutty endeavors such as becoming human kites in order to save the weatherman's estranged brother from a hostage situation. But the cheesy fun and games amid torrential downpour can't save everything; the film oddly drops all of its plans at the conclusion of the second act and then immediately plunges into the action finale, which is riddled with a confusing order of character deaths and a painful whiplash of an ending. To make matters worst, the film was clearly edited down for a R rating because there are distasteful jumps in the rhythm whenever someone says something naughty. Others may label scoff at this movie and only describe it as a guilty pleasure or as the best of the worst offerings of early 2018 but I frankly had a blast with this refreshing throwback to when action movies were hooped up on goofballs.


FINAL REVIEW: 3 / 5

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Annihilation - Review




Army vet turned biologist Lena (Natalie Portman) joins up with a small squad of accomplished females in their venture into "The Shimmer", a classified region hampered by mysterious mutation and time dilation that her long-thought dead husband (Oscar Issac) somehow survived in. ANNIHILATION banks heavily on surreal visuals, disturbing sci-fi and easy ambiguity in order to fool the viewer that they are watching something highly intelligent and masterfully crafted. Alex Garland's take on the Jeff VanderMeer novel with the same generic name is a baffling affair, laughably amateurish at some points but quietly unnerving at other times. In order to partake in the real terror and intrigue of the picture, you have to twiddle your thumbs through the establishment of its wafer-thin characters and a lot of stalely directed walking segments. Some of the early goings feel like they weren't handled by the vision behind EX MACHINA but by someone with the same caliber as Tommy Wiseau; One of the biggest unintentional laughs comes when the geologist brings up the painful death of her daughter and then the film just cuts ahead, proceeding to never give said character any more actual distinction for the rest of the film. If you try to focus on the main plotline of Lena's strained relationship with her husband, you will be sorely disappointed. It's so rote and vanilla, never having a pulse to it until the predictable ending that any one with half a brain can call out. But even with all of the eye-rolling and deep sighs it helps produce, I frankly couldn't hate the film or say it's a complete wash. The actresses try their best with whatever they got, the horrors on display are truly horrific, and it wisely maintains a toxic air of helplessness the very moment the party crosses over. Even when the CGI comes out in full force during the climax, bequeathing many sights that are on the edge between sobering and ludicrous, you still feel uneasy and paralyzed from the gross aesthetics, nihilistic theming, and the intensely throbbing score by Ben Salisbury and Geoff Barrow. Maybe a re-watch down the road will help alleviate or possibly even cure my mixed feelings toward it but I certainly can not recommend it to the average joe. Those seeking a downer or dark science fiction need only apply.


FINAL REVIEW: 3 / 5

Saturday, March 3, 2018

2018 Oscars Predictions




As always, these are my predictions to win, not who or what movie I wish would win.


Best Picture: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Actor: Gary Oldman - Darkest Hour

Best Actress: Frances McDormand - Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Supporting Actor: Sam Rockwell - Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Supporting Actress: Allison Janney - I, Tonya

Best Director: Guillermo del Toro - The Shape of Water

Best Original Screenplay: Martin McDonagh - Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Adapted Screenplay: James Ivory - Call Me By Your Name

Best Animated Film: Coco

Best Foreign Film: The Square

Best Documentary Film: Faces Places

Best Documentary (Short Subject): Edith+Eddie

Best Animated Short Film: Garden Party

Best Live Action Short Film: The Silent Child

Best Original Score: Alexandre Desplat - The Shape of Water

Best Original Song: "This Is Me" - The Greatest Showman

Best Cinematography: Hoyte van Hoytema - Dunkirk

Best Film Editing: Lee Smith - Dunkirk

Best Production Design: Paul Denham Austerberry, Shane Vieau and Jeff Melvin - The Shape of Water

Best Costume Design: Mark Bridges - Phantom Thread

Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Kazuhiro Tsuji, David Malinowski and Lucy Sibbick - Darkest Hour

Best Sound Editing: Richard King and Alex Gibson - Dunkirk

Best Sound Mixing: Mark Weingarten, Gregg Landaker and Gary A. Rizzo - Dunkirk

Best Visual Effects: Blade Runner 2049


I am actually fine with this year's edition of the Oscars but it frankly lost all steam with me up to this point. I had to keep reminding myself that it hasn't happen yet; that's what you get with a planning airing in March!

Oh boy, Jimmy Kimmel is back as the host. He was just so great last year I literally don't remember anything he did save for yelling at Warren Beatty. The awful hosts of past years at least have a nugget in my memory bank.

Expect way too many jokes about the winner envelopes and last year's Best Picture controversy. That is, if you are willing to turn it to watch the program; even with the still lingering hoopla about the Best Picture blunder, the television viewing audience will be very low.

I sadly see the potential of there being a total shut out for Get Out. Jordan Peele has been gaining some traction in recent weeks for Best Director but I believe del Toro has already earned the votes. He really should get it for Best Original Screenplay but the dumb Academy would rather give it to McDonagh. Three Billboards is a good film and the script is quite unique but it pales in comparison to Peele's social-political horror-comedy-drama.

Poor Willem Dafoe. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. The new Peter O'Toole of our time.

Best Foreign Language Film can go to anyone. Same with all of the short categories, which have not made a dent online. I just hope that Kobe Bryant one doesn't win Best Animated Short.


See you on Monday with my reactions to the awards and the ceremony itself.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Barry Crimmins - RIP




Barry Crimmins has died. He was 64 years old.

He's best known nowadays as the featured figure in Bobcat Goldthwait's powerfully funny and tragic documentary Call Me Lucky. Crimmins himself was a very volatile stand-up comedian whose satirical jabs and anti-authoritarian barbs provoked laughter and shock among his audiences. He never received widespread acclaim during his heyday but remained a popular underground figure within the stand-up community. He opened and operated two comedy clubs in Boston during the 1980s, Stitches and The Ding Ho, which helped jumpstart the stand-up comedy boom and gave many future legends their big breaks in the industry.

During the 90s, Crimmins switched gears and became a political activist. He opened up to the public about being a survivor of sexual abuse and began targeting internet providers like America Online for their lax attitudes toward pedophiles operating their systems and creating chat room havens. He famously brought the matter and hard evidence he helped cultivate before the U.S. government, causing AOL to suffer a publicity nightmare and abruptly enforce new policies.

He will be missed.