Horrors of October - Are You Afraid Of The Dark? : "The Phantom Cab"

During the 80's and the early 90's, there were a plethora of horror anthology entertainment. In movie form, there was Creepshow, Creepshow 2, Tales From the Darkside: The Movie, The Twilight Zone: The Movie, Nightmares, etc. On television, there was of course Tales from the Crypt, a show that pushed the boundaries of what could be shown but only on available on pay TV. I hardly had a chance to watch the HBO exclusive show, though I did watched the de-fanged and kid and moral friendly Tales from the Cryptkeeper animated series. There was also the syndicated Freddy's Nightmares, which banked on the popularity of the Freddy Krueger character to shill a bunch of often mediocre horror stories. Of course, kids had better and easy to view horror shows, such as the one season wonder Eerie, Indiana. Then, there is Are You Afraid of the Dark?


Are You Afraid of the Dark? officially premiered on Nickelodeon on August 15, 1992 as part of the newly created SNICK lineup. From 8 to 10 pm EST every Saturday, kids had a block of shows that brought a variety of entertainment before always ending with some horror to scare the crap out of them on the way to bed. "The Tale of the Phantom Cab" was the premiere episode of the show but it wasn't the first to air on Nickelodeon, which we'll get to later. If it wasn't for the fact that the episode serves as the important introduction to many aspect of the series, I would just stop right here. "The Tale of the Phantom Cab" is simply terrible.


The episode starts off with a bespectacled teenager named Gary. He breaks the fourth wall as the camera dollys around to the other teenagers sitting next to him. They are the Midnight Society, a group of teenagers from different school and lifestyles who come to a place in the middle of the woods to share spooks and scares. Gary's speech addresses the audience but canonically it is for Frank, a new candidate to enter the Society but he must submit a horror story while still blindfolded. It's no surprise that he wins over the others but it later becomes a seemingly unwise decision; the headstrong Frank spends the rest of his run always trying to pick a fight and being a genuine dick to the others. Add to the fact that his story absolutely sucks and you get the impression the Midnight Society isn't worthy as an exclusive and prestigious club. These segments with the teenagers bookend the show, with a brief segment intersected into the middle probably as kindly reminder to those scared that it is only a TV show. And, before the story starts, the teller must throw some of the Society's "magic dust" into the fire to make a mini-explosion. This dust always was a treat for me and I later found out it was simply just table sugar.


The "horror" story is of two brothers, Buzz and Denny, as they are lost in the woods. They meet up with a man named Flynn who directs them to a house but not before asking them about riddles. The two kids enter the strange little house that looks like something from the Shire and meet a strange old coot named Dr. Vink. He says he'll help them only if they figure out a riddle. Once they fail it, he kicks them out but gives them directions to an area where a taxi drives by every night. They enter the car to find Flynn is not only the driver (oh, wow, what a twist!) but undead and about to kill them too unless they solve the riddle.


I really can't believe I wasted some much time and energy writing the plot synopsis but I wanted to spell out the fundamental problem with this story. It is called "The Tale of the Phantom Cab", and yet the phantom cab doesn't enter in until the very end. You have to sit through so much tedious walking and talking scenes in the beginning with the two kids who have "Not An Actor" printed on their foreheads. The direction is just abysmal with many shots, most obviously a Vertigo Shot of the kids screaming, badly executed. The worst offender is when the winds and sounds of lost souls surround the kids, which is displayed by close-ups of bushes that are being forcibly shaken.


The only saving grace and an important moment in the series was that this is the first appearance of Dr. Vink. I absolutely love this character as a kid, played expertly by Aron Tager. He is essentially a horror-themed Merlin, a wise but mischievous wizard and anti-hero whose morality is often questioned. Like in this episode, he often served as the villain of the stories, preying on modern citizens and imposing dastardly tricks to injury and even kill people. He also had two recurring gags, one involving the pronunciation of his name (Not Fink, but Vink. "With a va, va.") and how he could hear somebody calling him a "nut bag" and calls it out on them after some time has passed. So, when he tries to kill these two losers, of course I had to cheer him on.


Though it serves purposes as being the first both for the show and for the Dr. Vink character, steer clear (ugh) of this tale. It's a bad start for what later be a fun, entertaining and scary series.



Next up: A simple ghost tale among women.