skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Sonic The Hedgehog (2019)
Official Trailer
Watch It Here
Person of Interest: Ben Schwartz as the voice of Sonic, Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik, James Marsden as a sheriff in Green Hills (Get It?!), Tika Sumpter as some lady, and Neal McDonough as Major "Nobody Cares" Bennington.
Scene Pop: That first backside shot of Sonic. Dear lord.
Effective?: Oh no, no, no. Not taking the massive thumbs down rating it is receiving into account, this trailer is just terrible all around and deserves to be used as an example on how not to market a film. Firstly, why is it set to Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"? The dark beat of the song absolutely doesn't match up with the poor preschool level humor on display nor heightens any of the other scenes, all of which look so poorly crafted that it makes the movie look like an Asylum joint. Then you have the awful decision to show Sonic in all of his disturbing glory up front. His body is so badly misshapen, the human teeth is just plain weird, and the face looks dreadful when he's not doing the famed Sonic tude stare. Oh, and who can forget the pitiful trailer stinger, which straight up spoils the film's ending and reassures fans that Dr. Robotnik will be bald and eventually head into Sonic's world to reek future havoc. And who the hell came up with the idea of Sonic's fur being electrified and the golden rings now being teleportation devices?
Check it Out?: A definite no. Even the diehard fans that have been a persistent online scourge will not venture out to see it. However, I will see it due to my love for bad movies and my personal history with the video game character. I used to be a very big Sonic fan back when I was a kid and I still have an affinity for the animated shows and the Archie comic book run. But man, this will be a tough sit. Seriously, who the hell came up with the idea of Sonic's fur being electrified and the golden rings being able to make portals?
After suffering a catastrophic defeat at the hands of Thanos that has left half of all living things to turn to dust, the remaining Avengers team up with a new space superhero in order to find a way to reverse the organic cleansing and ultimately defeat the genocide king. The plot obviously goes beyond this simple description but any more talk of the story will rob the juicy surprises it has in store for the long-time Marvel viewer. As for the movie as a whole, AVENGERS: ENDGAME is a great series finale to the integral component of the MCU, i.e. the original core members of the Avengers, but there in lies its central issue. I'm not using television terminology by mistake; ENDGAME feels more in line with as a final season or a miniseries than it does as a slam-bang, concluding blockbuster. RETURN OF THE JEDI and RETURN OF THE KING it is not. The majority of the pic is relegated to dialogue, Marvel witty or otherwise, and scenes of bonding that nicely put a bow on hidden nuggets throughout all of the Marvel movies. These substantial moments do help make the three hour running time flow very fast but at the expense of pure action excitement that is heavily expected with a final chapter. The brief melee bouts sprinkled throughout do not generate much thrills so the audience will still have to patiently wait until the finale. But boy howdy, what a conclusion the Russos have in store. It is near boundless in its goosebump-inducing action theatrics and purely acts like a real comic book event. Everything that follows afterwords will be forming up some tears in your eyes, save for the very last scene which is a head-scratching decision and a total mood killer. Most of the criticisms I levied at the movie are things that fans can forgive for the most part and/or not be too bent out of shape by. If you can do that, more power to you. However, please agree with me at least that the stupidest elements stuck forever in the fabric of the celluloid are the film's soon-to-be-or-are-now dated references, namely the use of dabbing, the appearance of the video game Fortnite (played on a PS4 no less which brings up a whole can of worms), and some completely unnecessary product placement. AVENGERS: ENDGAME is a fine farewell for some of the heroes that have been with us yet it is hard to feel the true weight of it all when the film treats itself as just another chapter in the MCU. Marvel has more films and even some digital television shows down the pipeline and given some elements in the plot, as well as what normally springs up in superhero comics, anything can happen including negating all of the drama you were affected by in this movie.
FINAL REVIEW: 3 / 5
Pretentious young hip director Toby (Adam Driver) takes a break from filming an insurance commercial in Spain to make a brief stop at the small village where he once shot a student film about Don Quixote. His trip down memory lane eventually leads him to reuniting with his former lead actor Javier (Jonathan Pryce), a shoemaker who went full method and is stuck believing he's the real man from La Mancha. Mistaking him for his squire Sancho Panza, the crazed knight sweeps up Toby into a spirited and surreal adventure. THE MAN WHO KILLED DON QUIXOTE has been highly anticipated by all cinephiles since it finally escaped from over two decades of production hell but sadly Terry Gilliam's passion project ends up being pretty moot. The reconfigured story is ultimately just rehashed leftovers of previous Gilliam films, namely THE FISHER KING and BRAZIL. It really tries to grab your full attention with Gilliam's standard artistic flair and attempts at witty vulgar humor. However, it's very hard to shake off the deja vu of seeing a man hanging out with a disturbed individual he helped create, a mounted knight in modern times, the real world and the dreams of an unstable man mixing together, the evil powers that be always winning and a bitter conclusion. The script also falters pretty significantly in the female department, as the two supporting women are both treated as doormats for corrupt European bosses and are routinely physically and verbally abused. They both also don't have much of a real personality, which is a death sentence for Joana Ribeiro's Angelica since we're supposed to care about her plight and want to root for Toby to literally be a white knight. Yes, the audience absolutely wants to cheer on Toby despite the fact that he's a certified asshat and he fell in love with Angelica back when she was 15 years old. Adam Driver really tries to make this picture work and is quite great when his physical comedy is on display. Plus Pryce of course does wonders handling the jovial nature of Don Quixote and the brief somber moments when Javier returns to the surface. Too bad the script can't measure up with their talents nor can Gilliam who clearly struggles at times behind the camera. I didn't totally dislike my time with this film; most of my anger during the film screening went to some annoying jackasses who laughed at every little thing, from practical objects in the background to non-jokes to even the domestic abuse. A rewatch might bump it up a little later down the line but quite frankly the making of THE MAN WHO KILLED DON QUIXOTE will forever have a bigger impact on film history than the film itself.
FINAL REVIEW: 2 / 5
