This was not the action-packed sequel to TRANSFORMERS. This was a comedy film. A comedy film so riddled with stupid humor and offensive caricatures that the makers realized in post-production that it wasn't funny so they decided to put a few action scenes in. TRANSFORMERS was very dumb, like all of Michael Bay's films, but it had a fun atmosphere, some awe-inspired visual effects, a great finale, and the subtle guidance and supervision of executive producer Steven Spielberg. TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN very nearly destroys everything set by its predecessor and may harm the future of the franchise. After viewing it, you will realize you saw no advancement of any kind and simply saw a generic episode of the television series except stretched for two and a half hours.
Two years after the previous film's events, the Autobots have teamed with the U.S. military (why not the U.N.?) to destroy any returning and new Decepticons from harming Earth. A bigwig politician wants to halt the project but you don't need me to tell you what happens to him or this angle. Meanwhile, Sam (Shia LaBeouf) pursues his educational future at college while maintaining a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox). Before leaving his house, he comes into contact with a chip of the first film's MacGuffin and starts mentally wrestling with Cybertronian symbols. The Decepticons want this information in Sam's head while the Autobots want to protect him and humankind. This now living MacGuffin then leads to another MacGuffin that can either give life or take it. That's right, there is two MacGuffins in one film. Has is that possible?
Have you also noticed something? This film is an odd palindrome and a carbon copy to the first film. It starts off with a robot battle in a crowded city and ends in the deserts of Africa. Both the humans and robots are going after MacGuffins all while the military intervene and debates supporting this dilemma. Bay and his three(!) writers didn't try making a different entity. There is some new story ideas that are interesting to pursue. The politician has a monologue of exposition that proves to be disastrous since the Decepticons are listening in on it. Also at one point, the Decepticons have an all-out attack on the Earth and broadcast that they will continue until Sam is brought to them. What could have a been an interesting idea by having Sam debate his purpose and causing his friends and family to be in danger while avoiding angry citizens is then quickly dropped and not elaborated on. New characterization is avoided for more ball and scrotum jokes.
There is way too many male genitalia jokes. They get hit, smashed, punched, groped, and tasered. Even a giant Decepticon has one for a throwaway joke. When it isn't that, there is regular sex jokes. Characters and moments do the usual "car=sex" metaphors or simply have repeated shots of things humping. Crap like this really annoy me and question why for their inclusions. But what strongly unnerves me is the rest of the humor: embarrassment humor. Like in the first, Sam is put in situations where we laugh at his misfortunes in public view. This is ramped up more due to his struggles maintaining the symbols flowing through his head.
And then, there is Mudflaps and Skids. These two robots are unbelievably awful for being in the film. There are new Autobots sent to Earth to help the cause but they do nothing but argue with each other and swear constantly. There is no need for swearing, but Bay really wanted it and it always come from them. What's worst is that they are both caricatures of African Americans. One even has a gold tooth (WHY?!). Their humor was so unfunny that the six kids in front of me didn't laugh once. This Anti-Black humor is further illustrated when we see an African American with really fake but bad teeth working in a deli.
But what drove me nuts is the film's stance against women. Their is misogynism and their is being Lars Von Trier. Michael Bay has had a problem with the depictions of women; they always appear as supporters for men then individual fighters. Sometimes he changes for the better, such as in the first film with Fox and the female hacker. But TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is the worst. Fox's character hardly does a lot like in the first and is more of a hand-holder for Sam. Mikaela also has scenes where she lays in stupidly sexy poses or strip during important robot/human bonding scenes. Also, you have Sam's mother who does nothing except to be dumb and has rapid mood swings. A bit where she ingests pot brownies and goes crazy on campus drove me to look away. This hatred comes to a head with the existence of a college female student who goes after Sam and is a double for Mikaela. She ends up being a Decepticon with a long tongue and a tail that gives a upskirt shot for the audience. Real classy, Bay.
As for acting, again, it gravities more toward comedy than drama. LeBouf and Fox are still fine with their performances. I have to say I'm sorry to Fox, since I have been annoyed with her constant presence over her beauty instead of acting. She showed better promise and abilities then her previous films. Josh Duhamel and Tryese Gibson hardly have any scenes, so they can't be judged. Ramon Rodriguez, who plays Sam's new and unwanted college buddy, annoys everyone and strictly plays stupid and vapid all the time. But of course, the best overall acting again goes to Peter Cullen and the rest of the Transformers. Their voice acting hammers down the action and make the giant robots look cool and not just giant toys.
Well, it has been this long, and now I touch on the Transformers themselves. Since the film wants comedy not action, all of the Transformers get little to none screen time except for Optimus Prime, Megatron, and the Fallen. More on the Fallen later. All of the Autobots introduced earlier spend time in the background of shots and fights. Even Bumblebee gets less time instead of being Sam's partner and friend. Like Skids and Mudflaps, some new Autobots are brought in but get no time either. Did you know fan-favorite Arcee is in it? Did you know there's three of her? Well, she gets only three scenes and two lines of dialogue. If Bay wanted comedy, why didn't he get Blur in as well? For the Decepticons, Soundwave (the great Frank Welker) is brought in and barks more orders than Megatron but only exists as a surveillance bot. Fan-favorite Devastator, a ultra-giant robot of various construction vehicles, isn't very menacing when he should be thanks to Bay's direction. The legendary relationship Megatron and Starscream is brought up several times and both get more to do than the first film.
But now, let's get to the Fallen. The Fallen is the titled villain and is supposed to be the biggest threat. Megatron, the first film's major villain and more evil of the two, is instead regulated to being the servant of him. He even has Tony Todd as his voice. But let me make this clear:
The Fallen is one of the worst villains I ever seen in a major picture or sequel.
He does nothing and isn't threatening. He is in only five scenes. FIVE SCENES! In two of them, he is sitting down, like the Emperor in the STAR WARS films but has none of the charisma or presence. Not even the pointless prologue where he fights hunters and gatherers in the B.C. age is he shown as a menace. "The Decepticons" should have replaced his name in the title, since they actually do things and defeat their opponents.
I could go on other things, such as the still disbelief that people don't see these robots especially with YouTube around or the return of the annoying small Decepticons, but I'm done. I went through this film with so much hatred for what? A few good moments and entertaining battles with Optimus Prime being Optimus Prime? Hopefully, Bay is taken away from the eventual sequel and some good can come next.
