Worst Songs of 2011...So Far

With the small amount of interesting films coming out this month, my diversions of entertainment switched to other forms. The one field which dominated this month and the reason for this article was of course music, a type of art that I often don't like talking in person. Unlike say film, television, and video games, I feel that music discussion is way too personal for myself to express out loud, especially since it often seems that there's little room for an objective review of a song. It is largely you hate it or love it. You add it your iTunes or leave it to die on the radio.


So I decided to take a chance for some public reveals of my tastes. I'm going to go over what I feel are the best and worst songs that have stood out, performed well on the charts, and/or make me want to be yet another musical hipster or a commercial drone. However, I will also display some of my guilty pleasures and talk just why these unfortunate earworms warm me up.


Seether "Country Song"

An instant skip wherever you hear it. From its banal title to its generic rock structure, absolutely nothing works.

Bad Meets Evil Featuring Bruno Mars "Lighters"

Why is the chorus and the rest of the song so incompatible? Eminem and Royce da 5'9"'s rhymes are terrible with their crappy male bravado before Bruno Mars goes off on his own. This is the type of songs that "Jack Sparrow" was mocking.

Beyoncé "Run the World (Girls)"

I'll admit that Beyoncé is one of my most hated celebrities and artists today. But the sheer public failure of "Run the World (Girls)" made me proud of the American public. Yet another one of her pro-women song (Is there any difference between them?), Beyoncé auto-pilots through this undanceable trainwreck. Seemingly produced just to give school marching bands something to play during women sporting events.

Christina Perri "Jar of Hearts"

Ugh. Unlike the other "life sucks as a girl" songs that were popular this year, this is just desperate for sympathy points. Her boring charisma to her inane lyrics, Perri is a total washout. I rather cheer for her gigolo ex-boyfriend.

Steven Tyler "(It) Feels So Good"

One of the rare pop songs where a walking Karen Carpenter plastic doll proclaims how he likes scatological perversion in the chorus. Only a minor hit because of his American Idol role, this wouldn't have work even if it was released during the 90's.

Enrique Iglesias "Tonight (I'm Fucking You)"

At least he's upfront about it. Still, the song is annoying with its beep and bloops beat and Enrique's skeevy demeanour. A hero, he is not.

Jason Derulo "Don't Wanna Go Home"

A song that makes you wish you were watching the dance scene in Beetlejuice or listening to Robin S.'s "Show Me Love".

Hot Chelle Rae "Tonight Tonight"

A purely bad one hit wonder. Does anyone really want to get in the Hot Chelle Rae business? Say hi to Metro Station for me.

Bruno Mars "The Lazy Song"

The dumb whistling, name dropping P90X, and making a acoustic guitar jam? That is truly lazy. Yes, I realize the irony of the last sentence.



And now... My Guilty Pleasures:



New Boyz Featuring The Cataracs & Dev "Backseat"

"Like a G6" Part Two. The sex talk and the "I'm awesome" douchiness are so laughable, I can't stay mad at it.

Katy Perry Featuring Kayne West "E.T."

I hate, loathe, despise the Kayne West guest segments and I easily spotted the plagiarized "We Will Rock You" beat. Still, I can't help enjoy Perry's space pop theme.

Rebecca Black "Friday"

An obvious choice.