MEN IN BLACK 3 can be safely said to be a better film compared to the abysmal second film but it is still unable to keep the MIB franchise afloat. You may have Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, and Barry Sonnenfeld reunited again. The others, however, have chosen to leave the sinking ship instead and subtract the charm of the film even further. Removing Rip Torn's character may be okay yet still distracting but the absence of Frank the Dog is down right cruel. Why should anyone care to watch your next sci-fi installment with former golden child Will Smith when you killed off your beloved dog character?
Despite being with the agency for 15 years now and achieving both senior status and gray hair, Agent J is still left in the dark about some things by his superiors, including his long-time, bored out of his skull partner Agent K. A criminal named Boris the Animal has just escaped the maximum-security prison on the Moon and looking for revenge. Boris had a past run with Agent K but the really old-timer won't tell J, or the audience, what happened back then, causing J to get all butt-hurt and become really sad while playing Mass Effect 3. Boris ends up changing the timeline, by traveling to the past and killing Agent K back in 1969. J is the only one in the changed world who remembers everything, while having a deep craving for chocolate milk, and the only one who can travel back to prevent his partner's death when not trying to make too many time paradoxes.
Time travel stories are always a very heavy mixed bag for myself. They often never have anything interesting to say, instead relying on cuteness factor and pop culture jokes. Guess what this film chooses to do? The film's plot also doesn't really fit and feel right, trying to be a goofy sci-fi comedy while at the same having an old African-American man travel to a time when racism was still fully ingrained. There are a few scenes where intolerance does pops up, including a particularly squeamish traffic stop. However, this gets down right stupid when we later learn that the head of the MIB during the 1960's was heavily xenophobic, caring only for human losses instead of the lives of aliens. Who would hire this guy up to such a high position? With this guy in charge, you are just only one intergalactic incident away from commencing the utter annihilation of humankind because of this dumb schmuck's beliefs.
Other than the bad time travel business, the true reason that the script of MEN IN BLACK 3 isn't worth a damn is that none of its proceedings have any importance in advancing the characters or its universe. The makers think that throwing in time travel and easy to spot plot twists will change everything forever, only to achieve a below-average television episode, making it a better fit for the Men in Black: The Animated Series that aired long ago instead of being another movie sequel. Remember how the first film in this series ended? It had a man too old for this crap anymore so he passed the MIB legacy on to two deserving candidates, that being an African-American man and a woman. That was a true sense of progress, especially in cementing the equal rights allegory this franchise about alien contact has been trying to achieve. From that ending to this third installment, however, it has been nothing but hackneyed plot conveniences and desperately aging actors.
Will Smith is old. I have been attacking him for his age throughout this review but it needs to be repeated often. It is depressing to see a gifted older gentleman reducing his talents to recapture the lost youth and years of a character. From the dark black hair dye to his street-smart swearing, it just paints a sad, desperate picture. Tommy Lee Jones is worse, hardly doing anything remotely emotive, while Emma Thompson as the new MIB chief is wasted opportunity. The only actor who shines the brightest, refusing to give up on the bad material handed to him, is Josh Brolin as the younger Agent K. From replicating Jones' speech patterns to his rugged charisma, he makes the screen feel alive for a change, especially helping Will Smith out during their exchanges. The only other actor worth mentioning is Michael Stuhlbarg, as a walking alien Macguffin who constantly sees alternate timelines being played out, which never gets old and is charming.
Unless you are hardcore for Josh Brolin, do not see this until video and television. This is a cotton candy flick, designed to distract your taste buds before you realize it was nothing substantial for you to consume. I do hope this end of the MIB franchise but seeing how this got made, despite a ten year time difference, it is a sad possibility that another will be churned out. Talk to you again about the limitations of this franchise in 15 years.
FINAL REVIEW: 2 / 5
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