If J. J. Abrams wants to justify his new position as the overlord of the two leading American sci-fi franchises, he needs to both get a creative, original vision of his own cinematic dreams and he needs to remove his best buddies from the writing duties. Nothing in STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS is visually stimulating or well directed beyond the acting chops of its talented cast. However, Abrams' destructive mise en scene and ear drum-splitting sounds are masterstrokes compared to the rotten script devised by the horror team of Damon Lindelof, Alex Kurtzman ans Roberto Orci. This triple threat have been crafting creatively bankrupt and/or inept products for some time now; look no further than last year when Lindelof had audiences howling at PROMETHEUS while the latter duo saw their baby PEOPLE LIKE US laid to rest on worst of the year lists. Here, they have written the worst fan script ever to be officially commissioned to be an actual Hollywood blockbuster.
Let's break it all down: The picture starts with a space age version of the RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK prologue, as Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) engineers a rescue operation of a primitive alien species, from a ready to burst nearby volcano, by stealing their sacred text. Meanwhile, a dark figure named John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch) has a secret Starfleet operative commit a large terrorist attack in the heart of Sci-Fi London. Why? Because of a really cloying excuse that sadly becomes very, very important later and robs the tension away. Instead of instantly dealing with this major crisis devised by a former agent of theirs, and because the film editors do not understand their jobs, Starfleet puts their full attention to acting like a generic television police chief and demote Kirk back to the Academy for his law-breaking actions. Kirk then gets promoted back into being First Officer by his father figure Commander Pike (Bruce Greenwood), and then gets the Commander's chair again after another terrorist plot that Starfleet didn't see coming from a mile away. All of this manufactured melodrama happens in rapid succession, creating the question of why bothering having it in the first place if the status quo returns after a couple of cuts.
Kirk and his Enterprise crew are then tasked by Admiral Marcus (Peter Weller) to go off the books with a suicide mission: Obliterate Harrison, who has taken refuge in foreign territory, with the extreme prejudice of 72 specially made photon torpedoes. So, off they go with their excessive show of force to the planet Kronos, which is under the control of the Klingon Empire. Oh yes, the Klingons are given their grand introduction here with much spoken pomp and circumstance. Too bad the writers botch it all up; Despite the lingering threat of starting a major space war due to any action from the Enterprise, nothing later comes from it, not even when a bunch of Klingon soldiers are killed off. The popular race is only here to pop a few Trekkie cherries and to represent a "brown-faced" civilization, who are driven to violence by their lust and honor. Gee, I wonder if they're a metaphor for something.
Once Harrison comes back into the spotlight, the twists and fan service start splurging out in full force. If you are a Trekkie, have frequently visit Internet forums, made guesses when casting was announced, have a passing knowledge of Star Trek, seen or read about the best sci-fi movies, or like popular memes, then the twist that this film banks solely on is completely easy to spot. After it is introduced, nothing else matters beyond pure fan-wankery and modified plagiarism. The film becomes a distressing mobius strip of Post-9/11 allegories, the second major 2013 Hollywood film to have in such a short time-frame, and elements that were done better without the aid of CGI and lens flare. Worst yet, this includes THE DARK KNIGHT's Joker prison plot twist as a major moment, despite the fact that we just experienced this curveball last year both in THE AVENGERS and SKYFALL. Is every franchise required by law to feature this now?
The last third of the film is a crashing nightmare, finally ending with a flaccid chase on Earth and a quick cleanup of the loose threads the writers deemed necessary to complete. As the credits hit, you'll realize you have come down with a major case of fridge logic, unable to stop pondering why a major organization devoted to space anthropology has a military-happy figure in their command or why Earth has no defenses against spaceships from just plowing into their cities. You'll also notice that despite its world's alien equality, the majority of the women were depicted negatively. The creators had Zoe Saldana and Alice Eve, two very good and charming performers, in major roles and the only thing they could come up with them were boyfriend/girlfriend issues and a pandering underwear shot. You may counter with Saldana's brief shining moment where her telecommunications skills come into great use but it becomes negated by the forcible kidnapping and unnecessary disabling of Eve. With nothing to enjoy from the plot, you then figure you at least had entertainment from all of the action sequences. But due to Abrams' direction, there is no memorable shot or moment to hold on to beyond the exasperating sound design of loud noises and all of the strobing lights.
The only saving grace is the acting talent. Everyone returning from the first and more fulfilling movie continue to play their parts well and make the banter worthwhile. Though his character is a written joke, Cumberbatch is deliciously pleasurable as the heavy or the anti-hero or whatever the creators wanted him to be. Acting can be a good reason to see a film in theaters but here it can't justify all of your hard-earned money. Maybe the Abrams army will learn from their grave mistakes here and build a better film, a nice conclusion to this series. Or, their continuing doomed touch will befall STAR WARS: EPISODE VII. Of course, that land has already suffered much worst.
FINAL REVIEW: 2 / 5
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