It is that time once again, for all of the blockbusters and heavily-hyped films to come out to a salivating and desperate public. As said by basically every film glad-hand in existence, this summer looks to be the biggest one yet (Until, of course, next year's offerings). The early months of 2013 has brought a turmoil of troubling films and many unmitigated disasters, even given the usual expectations of these months. It was so bad that one of my top picks soured out and bombed fast and hard. Hopefully, it will get better.
Let's check out and go thoroughly through all of the offerings coming out in the summer months of 2013.
May 3 is of course Marvel Comics's favorite weekend, hence why Iron Man 3 arrives on American shores to conclude the Tony Stark trilogy. Time and fan opinion has kinda sullied the second installment; I still think it is pretty good though a bit lower than my first viewing. Comic book fans are intrigued by the presence of the Iron Patriot suit, more allusions to Warren Ellis' Extremis run, and Ben Kingsley as the big pimping Mandarin. Film fans are intrigued by Shane Black (screenwriter star, director of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang) sitting in the driver's seat. Everyone else just wants to see what personal problems Stark will go through after The Avengers and the climax seen in the latest trailer where the Iron Man Army comes a-calling. In limited theaters, the hitman drama The Iceman finally comes out, headed by popular character actor Michael Shannon. Timed expertly to ride on his expected mainstream breakthrough in Man of Steel, the film has been getting mixed reception, except for Shannon of course, and its trailer is a complete spoiler job. There's also Kiss of the Damned, a vampire flick with a Lady Gaga inspired poster, and the cloying and annoying What Maisie Knew.
May 10 finally sees the release of The Great Gatsby, the mega-Hollywood feature that was delayed late last year to get more eyeballs than awards. I loathe the book and don't believe the 3D direction by the forever flamboyant Baz Luhrmann will save the movie from harsh critical notices. Maybe the costume/production design and the actors will make up some of it, especially with Amitabh Bachchan making his big Hollywood debut. The only nationwide alternative is Peeples, or as many want to call it, the nonsensical Tyler Perry Presents Peeples. I like movies with a rich cast of African-American actors but I don't see this going over well beside those that enjoyed the "AIDS is for Evil People" epic Temptation earlier this year. A couple horror entries are also out: No One Lives by director Ryuhei Kitamura, the interesting black comedy involving road-tripping serial killers Sightseers, and the Eli Roth-written, produced, and starring Aftershock.
May 17 is another one release flick, Star Trek Into Darkness. The promotional campaign has been banking on the mystery of the Benedict Cumberbatch's character and his motives against the Enterprise crew, as seen easily from its Dark Knight Rises rip-off poster. If that doesn't work for you, they just threw a bunch of spaceship crashing, people running, and Alice Eve in her underwear into the trailers. I'm interested but not too wowed by anything, except for Alice Eve of course. Indie-wise, we have another Greta Gerwig vehicle with Noah Baumbach's Frances Ha, which has been getting some acclaim. There's also the odd horror/mumblecore Deliverance duckling Black Rock, brought to us by the husband and wife team of Mark Duplass and Katie Aselton.
May 24 is to be one of the biggest weekends, as three major heavyweights look to topple Star Trek from the first place crown. Fast & Furious 6 is the favorite, especially after the slick and fun fifth feature that was best described as "The Avengers...but for douchebags!". Since the business move from hardcore car porn to international crime and espionage, the series has had a new chance of life. Judging from the trailer, it looks insanely pleasurable, from the pro-wrestling moves (including the Doomsday Device!), to Gina Carano, to the car stunts. And, of course, it is another major spotlight on The Year of Dwayne Johnson. Next up is The Hangover: Part III, a film that is sure to be deemed a failure if it doesn't get first place. Like Iron Man 2 but far, far, far worse, the second installment in the dark bromedy has been trashed by all for being nothing but a carbon copy of the popular first one. No plot has been given out, so all the marketing has centered around Zach Galifianakis antics, whether it is him singing, placing a lollipop in cameoing Melissa McCarthy's mouth, or the giraffe gag. I'll be lying if I didn't say I have no hope for it. For the families, Blue Sky Studios has Epic, the terribly titled Fern Gully homage. Though I also mock it for being a gender swapped The Secret World of Arrietty, I am interested in the world spun from William Joyce of the little forest people and the teenager girl who experiences the turmoil among them. Of course, given it's a big-time animated flick, the push has all been on the large voice cast assembled to get a paych...I mean to bring the world to life. Seriously, does anyone really care for the method acting skills of Pitbull? Will there be a Miami shout-out for him? Not to be outclassed, the indie markets will be served up with Before Midnight, the surprising third entry of Richard Linklater's famed film series about nothing more than two people in love. Praise has been very high since its Sundance premiere.
May 31 is all about wait and see. This could be a major bummer weekend, since the majority of releases have interest but not in the positive light. The biggest is After Earth, a.k.a. The Will Smith Nepotism Project: Part 4. Standing there right next to Tom Cruise's Oblivion, this major sci-fi film looks incredibly boring, relying on the audience's empathy for the odd vocal inflections of Will Smith and his son Jayden's survival on a primeval Earth. Despite its title, I say the movie will still pull the King Dinosaur twist of this being before our time, instead of being post-apocalypse and future regeneration. It goes double since the director is persona non grata M. Night Shyamalan, the man whose name is so toxic that the marketing has steered clear of mentioning him to fool the general public. Then, there's Now You See Me, the high concept, Ocean's Eleven but with magicians caper. The big cast and idea entices me but given the track record of its director, Louis Leterrier, I think it might be okay for a rental. The Kings of Summer looks to be another boring coming of white age film but The East does at least seem to be a good indie watch, as a deranged Ellen Page and Alexander Skarsgard go after major corporations.
June 7 has, ugh, The Internship. Talk about a pitiful movie; this feature-length commercial for Google has middle-aged Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson clown around under the direction of hack-meister Shawn Levy. Seriously, have you stared at its banal poster? Steer clear and wait for video, if you must. Then, there's The Purge, a sheer dumb home invasion film where a corrupt America now accepts a brief period where anyone can do anything criminal absolutely free of charge. The only thing interesting to come out is Joss Whedon's low budget take on Much Ado About Nothing. Shot on digital video and black and white, the Avengers director and last year's main man had his personal buddies put on a show of Shakespeare's popular comedy.
June 12 has the desperate scramble for This is the End to get any money it can before Friday. I like the concept, a group of comedic actors under their real names during an ever elaborate apocalypse, but I'm trepidatious about its execution. Of course, I was one of the few who enjoyed Evan Goldberg and Rogen's take on The Green Hornet.
June 14 is ever important for Warner Bros., DC Comics, the Internet, and the U.S.A. itself. The power and accomplishment of Man of Steel will determine whether the American public loves Superman in this day and age and whether we will get a Justice League film in the future. So far, I have been responding positively to the trailers, whether they are Malick-esque, somber and foreboding, or more adventurous. I adore the pre-Superman phase of the movie, with the strong showcase of Kevin Costner as Pa Kent, more than the later segments, despite Michael Shannon chewing scenery and the charm of Henry Cavill. Zack Synder better pull it off. Joining with Spring Breakers in the young wild women crime genre is Sofia Coppola's The Bling Ring. Previews look good but I will be holding off of it for now.
June 21 is a very troubling weekend. It could feature the next notch down for Pixar because Monsters University comes out. It may surprise me but I didn't really need continuation to the Monsters Inc. series, let alone an prequel that still features the living Aztec Mummy himself, Billy Crystal. Of course, I will probably enjoy that film more than World War Z, the film whose production problems have now become legendary. I haven't read much of the book but its opening interview and story of a doctor encountering a zombie-stricken village is far more interesting than Brad Pitt saving his white middle-class family from the zombie outbreak, when he is not strangely teleporting around the world. Drive-in, second bill only.
June 28 is the new time slot for the delayed The Heat. I still will give it a chance despite being plagued by its green band trailer at every movie screening I go to. The only other major release is the late-to-the-party White House Down, the Volcano to Olympus Has Fallen's Dante's Peak. If there is a buddy cop dynamic with Channing Tatum's secret service agent and Jaime Foxx's President, it might be worth of glance though I don't think it will have the guilty pleasures featured in Olympus.
July 3. Man, what a dog of an Independence Day weekend. Despicable Me 2 will certainly be the audience favorite. The first one was just okay, banking heavily on the delightful Minion characters than the tired orphan plotline or the eye-rolling "steal the moon" race. Maybe Steve Carell's character will finally have a personality here. Then you have The Lone Ranger. Talk about DOA and this year's Battleship; western films have not done very well at all recently, except for say Rango, which director Gore Verbinski and actor Johnny Depp did before this film. However, that was animated while this is a giant live-action money pit. Not to mention that nobody knows or cares about the pulp hero nowadays or even back in the 80's, when a terrible adaptation was crafted with a wooden-faced lead literally named KLINTON SPILSBURY!
July 12, please, oh please, let the winner be Guillermo del Toro's labor of kaiju love, Pacific Rim. Why am I scared that mainstream audiences might not enjoy the giant mech battles, the blockbuster feel, the huge, talented and diverse cast, and all of the toys sure to flood toy stores? Because Grown-Ups 2 is in the other corner, sure to suck up the desperate and unintelligent. This is Adam Sandler's first live-action film after the double feature debacle of Jack and Jill and That's My Boy. He was only able to score a minor success with Hotel Transylvania but that was riding on its animated premise than the presence of Sandler and his Best Friends Brigade. The first entry was boffo for Sandler and this might be too but I'm praying for diminishing returns of a high scale. I rather go see The Hunt, the hard to sit through, Mads Mikkelsen persecuted drama that gave the Danish actor an award at last year's Cannes. Or, to kick back at home with V/H/S 2 (a.k.a. S-VHS), the sequel to the 2012 horror anthology that polarized horror fans.
July 19 is utterly stuffed with four major and different features. Red 2 continues the presence of Bruce Willis in action vehicles, which if you have been noticing haven't been very good at all. I frankly wasn't excited for the first installment and I don't care to see this. R.I.P.D. seems interesting, slain cops who come back into a special non-zombie unit, but I was burned by the equally supernatural police flick Men in Black 3 last year. The Conjuring comes from underrated horror director James Wan and seems very close to his previous hit Insidious, which is getting a sequel later this year. I tend to enjoy trailers that are strictly just one long sequence, which this film has a killer one involving a child's game of clapping. Turbo is, well, a not very enticing animated film about a super-powered snail speedster. Dreamworks Animation maybe progressing with better films but this looks too kiddy right now. Not even the use of the Drive soundtrack can made the trailers look good. Speaking of Drive, director Nicolas Winding Refn and megastar Ryan Gosling reunite with Only God Forgives, a dark noir involving bloodshed and fighting on the streets of Thailand. Certainly come me in. Also, the hyped up Kristen Wiig black comedy Girl Most Likely (a.k.a. Imogene) is to be a sleeper for art theaters.
July 26 has, yep you guessed it, a single release based on a comic book. The Wolverine has much to overcome: the sheer hatred and stink of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the fan outcry for the X-Men rights to revert back to Marvel, the directoral change-over from Darren Aronofsky to James Mangold, and the absolutely asinine posters it has come out with recently. So far, the only saving graces is Hugh Jackman, of course, and its popular re-telling of the character's journey through Japan as a ronin. Of the comic book movies this season, this is a hard third place; check out the reviews before experiencing what 20th Century Fox has now meddled with. The indie films look far more interesting: another Woody Allen film with Blue Jasmine, which is getting notices for starring stand-up comedians Louis C.K. and Andrew Dice Clay of all people, and the Sundance smash Fruitvale Station. The latter looks highly engaging, given its strong and tragic "based on real-life events" story and is headlined by the up-and-coming Michael B. Jordan (Chronicle).
July 31 is the special Wednesday release of The Smurfs 2. You know, I was thinking the first installment would be genuinely awful, and it is at many times, but I still enjoyed the characters I grew up with and especially the opening segment in Smurf Village. Did the makers learn from their mistakes and create a film centered more around the fantasy world of the Smurfs? No. Instead, we have another real world adventure, this time in Paris, so the creatures can have more annoying clashes with pop culture. Like the Transformers franchise, the studio thinks we enjoy a human appearance more so that the beloved characters.
August 2 is all about male dominated action; I guess the female demographic has to just sit through The Smurfs 2 instead. First, and more importantly, is 300: Rise of an Empire, a prequel to the kooky and frothing with machismo 2007 comic book epic. The producers certainly had different motives, as they wanted to subside the homoerotic subtext (more like main-text) and have been advertising a token female warrior into the proceedings. Because that strategy certainly helped the Clash of the Titans franchise. Next is the banal titled 2 Guns, sure to head into second due to the continuing popularity of Denzel Washington, despite his recent rash of fair to mediocre outputs. His buddy cop antics with NCIS agent Mark Wahlberg against the mob looks to follow the trend. In the indies is the Sundance favorite The Spectacular Now, a teen soap helmed by the man who gave us the exasperating Smashed and featuring one of the top upcoming talents, Miles Teller (Footloose, Project X).
August 7 is the special Wednesday premiere for...Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters? Really? There was a strong need for a sequel to the forgettable Harry Potter rip-off that should have died with the rest, except for airings on Cartoon Network? Whatever, Hollywood; it's your decision to head into the red, unless the international circles make it better.
August 9 will see Neill Blomkamp's follow-up to District 9, Elysium. Coveting the spot once slotted for the troubled Robocop remake, it's the major release of August and banking on Matt Damon's popularity to guide its sci-fi rich vs. poor storyline to the box office. However, as seen before, sci-fi doesn't do well in August. Then, there's Planes, a Disney film designed to be DTV yet receiving a theatrical run. The Cars franchise may still do well in the toy department but the franchise took a major hit with Cars 2 and has been sputtering after everyone laughed off the idea of this film. It also doesn't bode well that its original star, Jon Cryer, had his lines removed and been replaced by Dane Cook. There's also We're the Millers, a pot smoking, indie-like comedy from the guy who did Dodgeball (remember that film? from 2004?).
August 16 sees the release of Kick-Ass 2. I thoroughly enjoyed the first one and the continuing success of Chloe Grace Moretz; however the trailer didn't really catch me at all, not even with the prominence and audacity of Jim Carrey's character, Colonel Stars and Stripes. The Do List is getting buzz of the bad kind, due to the peculiar stunt pulled by its star Audrey Plaza at the recent MTV Movie Awards. Though I like the young star, the film will probably be forgotten and Plaza's plug on her skin will make company with the ugly, album-shilling dress worn by Macy Gray from years past. Paranoia sounds like a corporate non-thriller, there might be a sleeper hit with Austenland, and pompous critics will get to rejoice and be glad because director David Gordon Green has stopped doing stoner comedies and is returning to his indie roots with Prince Avalanche.
August 23 is devoted to cult and niche fans, hence why all of its releases will not do very well. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones is the one getting the most attention due to its presence at conventions and the fans of the young adult book series. However, it is sure to be another Twilight-"inspired" failure, as seen by the earlier failures of The Host, Beautiful Creatures and Warm Bodies. I'm more interested in The World's End, another apocalypse film this summer but coming from the hilarious British team of director Edgar Wright and the duo of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Rounding out the "Three Flavours Cornetto" trilogy from the crew (Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz being the others), it is still being kept a secret but I have faith in the product. You're Next is the provocative title for the home invasion horror flick that has been getting buzz from the Toronto and SXSW Film Festivals and its creepy character posters. Rounding out the crew is Grandmasters, Hong Kong auteur Wong Kar-wai's take on the Ip Man story that wasn't already thoroughly covered by the popular Donnie Yen films.
August 30 is the finale and what a decrepit, piece of shit way to end the season: One Direction: This is Us, a concert/documentary film of the British boy band that is sure to be a one week wonder; Getaway, not another remake of the Steve McQueen classic or featuring Richard Marx's music skills but a forgettable 12 Rounds-like action film better suited for Redbox; and Closed Circuit, an uninteresting courtroom thriller. Wow, what a line-up.
My Top Picks of Summer 2013
1. Pacific Rim
2. Man of Steel
3. Only God Forgives
4. Fast & Furious 6
5. Iron Man 3
6. Elysium
7. Fruitvale Station
8. Epic
9. The World's End
10. Before Midnight
Of course, there are some films not mentioned here or included because I frankly have a hard time determining their release time frame. Not to mention, the possibility of any of these to be delayed. Check back later this weekend for my review of Iron Man 3.
I hope your movie experiences will be as good as mine, but probably less cynical.
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