Super Bowl XLVIII ended up being a complete disaster for the Denver Broncos, thus causing everyone to reminiscent about Homer Simpson's opinion of them back in 1996. As for the commercials, they all frankly sucked, the sole exceptions being the much hyped-up Budweiser ad involving a puppy and a Clydesdale horse and the slow burn teaser for the new 24 miniseries.
Embedded within the wall-to-wall adverts for new cars no one can afford right now or truly want, there were a few movie teasers. The Super Bowl has always had a history of high-proof film trailer premieres: The debut of The Fifth Element, the first look of the comically big Incredible Hulk in Ang Lee's Hulk, and the popular "oh snap, she's back!" teaser for Fast and Furious 6 just to name a few. Let's check out the few that tried to stand out:
Transformers: Age of Extinction was the true money winner. As evident by the teaser, this is a sad return of Michael Bay's evil ways of cinema. He just made the best movie of 2013 with his own passion and conviction, and now he has to repay Paramount's favor with this mercenary job. Already, I can tell that Nicola Peltz will be getting another Worst Actress nomination. But honestly, did you see what was shown? A robot had a gun for a head! Another one has parachutes(?) and shooting at his sides without looking, like a boss! Optimus Prime, Excalibur-like sword in hand, is riding Grimlock! I was as giddy as a schoolboy watching it. It may suck come June but I was at least happy for a brief shining moment.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier would have been really cool, with the slowly painful violin rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner" juxtaposed with the super-heroics, if not for the interrupting narrator at the end who urges us to visit a website. What is this, an online ad window?
I was not feeling The Amazing Spider-Man 2 at all. Still looks boring and the last joke was pitiful.
The ad for Muppets Most Wanted allows me to finally talk about the film's recent marketing strategy of harshly mocking Twitter trailers. This is so incredibly brilliant, both because it trashes films like Grudge Match, who had to resort to online praise for any acclaim to glorify in their TV and film ads, while also criticizing the inane purposes of status updates, emoticons, and hashtags. Thank you God.
I have nothing much to say about Noah because it was just a very concise cut of the official trailer. Judging by the reactions of my Super Bowl party members, nobody was really wowed by all of the wild animals and crashing waves.
Need for Speed was a misfire. I'll give the editor some credit; he or she tried to parallel all of the action shots into one flowing sequence of events. However, it tells you absolute nothing about the film, other than people are racing for some unexplained reason.
A Million Ways to Die in the West was pure bait-and-switch. Seth MacFarlane pulls double duty, playing himself and his popular Ted character in one scene, only to just state that the real trailer is on their official website (again with the redirecting!). It drops a few info nuggets for the TV viewer, like it being from the guy who created Family Guy and features Charlize Theron, plus Liam Neeson and his huge dick. But it still begs the question, why bother spending money on a Super Bowl commercial if you're not going to show even one frame of your movie? Don't give me that "family-friendly" excuse.
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