Joke Film Awards of 2019

Best Film Experience of the Year: Cats (Several walkouts after the first ten minutes, a large group of little girls and their moms sitting in dead silence, and theater geeks that began to loudly riff away towards the end.)

2nd Best Film Experience of the Year: Avengers: Endgame (My second viewing where a guy sitting behind me repeatedly kept saying "Shit!" whenever bad things happened to the heroes and was really triggered when the movie mocked Back to the Future.)

3rd Best Film Experience of the Year: Avengers: Endgame (My first viewing where a guy sitting next to me keep loudly sucking on the hard candy he snuck in.)

4th Best Film Experience of the Year: The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (Four losers who laughed uproariously at every single thing, from random objects in the background to the domestic abuse.)

5th Best Film Experience of the Year: One Piece: Stampede (A middle aged couple, who clearly were more likely set on seeing Western Stars next door, sat down and waited five minutes into the anime film before realizing they were in the wrong theater.)

Best Film Title of the Year: Slut in a Good Way

Worst Film Title of the Year: The Art of Racing in the Rain

Most Accurate Film Title: The Lighthouse

Same Dress, Different Hairstyle: FYRE: The Greatest Party That Never Happened and Fyre Fraud

The Kathryn Morris Award for "What's The Deal With This Person?": Diana Silvers in Booksmart

The Enough Already Award for the Most Egregious Overuse of Something in Movies: Live-action remakes of Disney animated classics

2nd Place of The Enough Already Award: "Smile" in Joker

3rd Place of The Enough Already Award: A Dog’s... Sequels

Best Dog: Brandy in Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood

Best Cat: Goose in Captain Marvel

Best Kill: Sadie's demise in Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood

Worst Kill: General Hux's sudden execution in Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker

Best Reason to Fast-Forward to the Middle: Olaf's recap of the first movie in Frozen II

Best Reason to Fast-Forward to the End: "Enter Sandman" in Metallica S&M 2

Best Reason to Leave During the Credits: "Into the Unknown" by Panic At The Disco! in Frozen II

The Jai Courtney Award for The Biggest Failure to Jump to Stardom: Jessie Usher

The Lorraine Bracco Award for The Biggest Failure to Jump to Stardom: Francesca Hayward

Worst Use of CGI: Every single visual effect in Cats

2nd Worst Use of CGI: The de-aging of Will Smith (especially in daylight scenes) in Gemini Man

Best Food: Ram-don in Parasite

Worst Food: Cockroaches in Cats

Worst Spoiler Trailer: A Dog’s Way Home (Runner-Up: Black Christmas)