Best To Worst Films of 2023

2023 was a year in the history of mankind. There were some good things, there were some bad things, and there were some thing things.

That's honestly all I really can say to sum up my feelings about last year overall. Now look, I'm not deliberately trying to be an asshole and just wave off the many major events and unfortunate tragedies that happened, such as the Hawaii wildfires, Russia's continuing invasion of Ukraine, the Hamas terrorist attack on Israel and resulting extensive conflict amid the Gaza Strip, or the huge spike in antisemitism and other ethnic hatred all over the world. Not to mention the sudden rise and rapid advancement of AI technology, which generated a lot of moral/ethical debates and might brings us one step closer to Skynet thanks to the money-hungry business idiots that are mostly pushing for it. But the peculiar thing is that most of this stuff happened more recently, within the second half of the year.  Practically everything in the first six months of 2023 seem now to be a total blur (remember the bank crisis we briefly had?). Also not helping the matters of memory is the sheer fact that since the last January 1st, practically everyone has been suffering from the intense foreboding of 2024, especially come this November.

However, if you had to ask me about 2023 when it comes to media and entertainment, I can tell you a lot more. It was a stellar year for video games, as there was a multitude of excellent titles including a new Zelda and Mario, but when it came to the industry itself, there were a lot of job losses, studio closures, and some rather unsavory business tactics. Music flat out sucked, dominated heavily by a lot of disappointing to terrible album releases, controversial but ultimately forgettable country trash and TikTok influenced earworms that had a shelf life far less than an one-hit wonder. The television business suffered greatly from a lot of real-life drama, numerous delays and cancellations including the Emmys, and viewers' desperation for new content this side of 2020, though there was success for Succession, Netflix, anime, long-running reality shows, and the NFL (now with an extra dose of Taylor Swift!). But when it came to the movies, there was a lot to experience.

Everybody can sum up 2023 in film easily: Barbenheimer and union strikes. Movie theaters were really and truly alive again since the pandemic thanks to the release of both Barbie and Oppenheimer on July 21st. Going beyond the "one for him, one for her" intentions, the two films drew rave reviews from critics and audiences and became two of the most celebrated achievements of 2023. However, despite all of the box office money, internet chatter, and cinematic euphoria, they came out right in the middle of the heated WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. These two strikes dominated all of the attention last year and seemed to never end despite many, including myself, predicting wisely that it would eventually be resolved come the fall. Still, America had to endure a lot of ugliness, as both unions fought the big corporations over several issues including streaming profits and the usage of AI. "Ride Or Die" mentality was very high, especially with the power of the internet, as a couple of celebrities suffered severe backlashes when they nearly tried to cross the picket line, most notably Drew Barrymore. Meanwhile, the pathetic suits up top, including Warner Bros Discovery CEO David Zaslav (more on that smeghead later), proceeded to spout dumb business and P.R. bullshit while avoiding the tomatoes from their high perches. Those shmucks of course would stupidly realize that they were way too late to settle with the unions by November, causing a huge business loss for the film and television industries that will continue to effect everything going forward into this new year.

There were some great highlights buried amid all of the turmoil. Proper video game adaptations started to finally come out and win over the skeptics, with the much hyped The Super Mario Bros. Movie doing so well it becomes the second highest grossing movie of the year. People's long held wishes for more mid-level affair to come to theaters started to see them slowly come true thanks to the likes of M3GAN and Cocaine Bear. Shah Rukh Khan became a bonafide megastar once again thanks to Pathaan and Jawan becoming two huge Bollywood blockbusters across the globe. Concert films became the next big thing, with A24 re-releasing Stop Making Sense in IMAX theaters to thunderous applause and Taylor Swift continuing her world conquest thanks to the unbelievable success of Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (oh, and Beyonce did well too but just for one weekend). And Japanophiles were ecstatic at the many, mostly anime, theatrical releases spread throughout the year, crescendoing with a boffo Godzilla pic and Hayao Miyazaki getting to hold the #1 crown for one weekend.

But sadly, there were even more lowlights besides the strikes. WBD CEO and all-around piece of shit David Zaslav spent the year enacting his terrible ideas for the company, including gutting more content from HBO Max (including deleting What's Opera, Doc?) and changing their streaming service's name to just Max in order to "entice" new subscribers. He also almost got away with doing another tax write-off for the company by shelving the completed film Coyote vs. Acme, only to face immense backlash in public and private for it. He would get the last laugh of the year unfortunately by announcing a potential merger of WBD and Paramount, which no one beside Wall Street wants (Hooray! More layoffs!).

Disney also tried the "screw our creators" tactic when they too removed several films and shows from Disney+. The idiots at the House of Mouse also literally planned to remove Howard, a documentary about the late great Howard Ashman, from the streaming service on the same day as the release of their ill-fated The Little Mermaid live-action adaptation, only to stop the deletion one day after the announcement due to obvious backlash. But Disney had more important things to be worried about, namely their increasingly personal battle with Florida governor Ron DeSantis, the fall in popularity and quality of Marvel movies, the meh response of Pixar's Elemental, and their centennial catastrophe that was Wish. Oh, and that whole thing about Steamboat Willie now going in the public domain.

Jonathan Majors had the biggest seesaw year out of anyone, starting off 2023 as one of Hollywood's next big stars and getting acclaim for his performance in Creed III, only to end the year convicted of assault and harassment, fired from all future Marvel endeavors, and his potential Oscar hopeful Magazine Dreams pretty much permanently shelved. All of the major awards organizations suffered embarrassments, Best Buy further rang the death bell for physical media by announcing the elimination of blu-rays being carried in their stores in 2024, Sound of Freedom becomes a "surprise success" at the box office thanks to shady dealings, the DCU further spiraled downward, Universal's $400 million bet The Exorcist: Believer fails with everyone and finally causes David Gordon Green to be fired, there was still too damn many films having a runtime over 2 and half hours, and last but not least, Netflix saw their Oscar dreams shatter when their big Sundance acquisition Fair Play enjoys a cup of coffee in the big time before dropping into obscurity and Maestro wows critics but "bombs" on their service.

As for me personally, my life in 2023 was just like my description of the year: some stuff was good, some stuff was bad, and the majority of it just existed. Still not doing too well in the home viewing department; didn't really touch Netflix a lot, wasted Max save for the show Winning Time, Peacock is for Eurovision and WWE only, and I again spent way too much time with YouTube. My beloved Netflix DVD subscription came to a close thanks to the company's decision to shutter it on September 29. I ended up with my never returned DVD of Lost Weekend (had it since 11/14/2017!) and a slightly scratched Dark Night of the Scarecrow. I, like practically everybody, didn't get any free extra DVDs from Netflix. I spent seemingly all of my time and energy into the 365 Days, 365 Songs project and finished it on time, i.e. bought all the songs, but I didn't do all of the writing that I was supposed to have up on this site at the end of each month.

That all being said, I kind of made up for these shortcomings and disappointments by thoroughly enjoying my time at the movie theaters. I finally got to see American Graffiti for the first time (shocker: it's great!), I partook in GKIDS' Studio Ghibli Film Festival, and I had an amazing experience seeing Stop Making Sense in IMAX. I laughed, I cried, I rolled my eyes, and I did several rewatches often in order to bring others back to theaters, show them something new and different, or just to keep them company.

My final total of 2023 films that I watched is 31. It is now time to arrange them in the order of my opinion, from the best to the worst.

Yet again, I have a true top ten films of the year, but this time it's firmly locked in. No wishy washy feelings about any of them.

1. Past Lives

I could go on and on about how this movie richly explores the idea of true love or personal identity or whatever that would make me a fancy pants critic. All I really want to say is that this is an exquisite debut feature by Celine Song, supplemented with three terrific performances, a rich screenplay, beautiful direction and cinematography, a moving score, and a magnificent ending that left me in a pool of tears.

2. Oppenheimer

Though I still feel that it's a bog standard "rise and fall" narrative that's just jumbled up to be creative and it evaporates all of the tension by straight up telling the viewer the outcome within the opening minutes, I will not discount just how absolutely masterful this movie is and how well it achieves its ambitions. Endlessly watchable thanks to Christopher Nolan and his creative crew and a killer's row of talented actors who are all at the top of their game.

3. Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse

A part of me believes I'm rating this way too high right now, falsely believing this will be sitting next to The Empire Strikes Back as the standout film of a franchise trilogy. But then I think about the all-encompassing artistry that the creators laid bare on the screen, from the watercolored backgrounds of Spider-Gwen's world to the visual wow that is Spider-Punk. Or how enthralling the chase sequence that nearly takes up the entire second half of the film is. Or how despite the ridiculous number of endings this side of Return of the King, the audience still has to linger on a shocking twist that was wisely set up. I don't love it as much as Into The Spider-Verse but I can't deny its majesty.

4. Barbie

This was so, so close to being as perfect as the titular Mattel doll. Two amazing lead performances, a witty script, astonishing art direction, fantastic costume design, and a director willing to go all out. Too bad it drops the ball in the anti-climatic final act before desperately recovering it for a killer ending.

5. Suzume

Makoto Shinkai continues his streak of charming romantic dramas coated in magical realism, this time with a walking kiddie chair, a mischievous spirit cat, and very explicit references to the 2011 Tohoku earthquake.

6. The Boy And The Heron

On one hand, it's another magical experience spun from the imagination of Hayao Miyazaki. On the other, it's an endlessly fascinating exploration of an artist coming to terms with his own life, his ideals, and what he brought to the world. Of all of the big potentially final auteur movies we got last year, this is the one that refuses to fade away from my mind.

7. Spirited Away: Live On Stage

I don't care if you think this shouldn't qualify for this list or debate whether it is a movie or not. This filmed presentation of the recent stage adaptation of the beloved 2001 Hayao Miyazaki film was one of the most fun experiences I had in movie theaters last year and it expertly showed the true magic of theater creativity.

8. Godzilla Minus One

The newest perfect example to shut up any detractor that says that a kaiju movie can't be taken seriously. An all-around exceptional epic not really seen much since the 1990s, complete with big action set pieces, historic plights, human drama, and some pontificating preaching. And as much as it's crucial to the film's themes and plot, utilizing the phrase "the war is not over" brings some unintentional hilarity for those who are fans of Rambo.

9. The Iron Claw

Indie writer-director Sean Durkin returns to the spotlight with a warm yet troubling exploration of the Von Erich family and the 1980s pro wrestling environment that they helped shape and would later fall victim to. My star rating had to be lowered however by the complete exclusion of Chris Von Erich from the story and actor Jeremy Allen White simply not being as tall or Adonis-level handsome as the real Kerry Von Erich.

10. The Holdovers

Alexander Payne removed some of his trademark bitterness in order to deliver a wonderfully shaggy dramedy set at a 1970's boarding school around Christmas. Paul Giamatti, Da'Vine Joy Randolph, and newcomer Dominic Sessa delivered great and funny performances and helped give the usual school plot elements a refreshing take.

Next up are nine films that I thought were pretty good to good enough to warrant a viewing. They just had a thing or two or five that kept it from making my top ten.

11. Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3

Doing what Marvel seems to be unable to do anymore, James Gunn gave us another highly entertaining superhero movie with his lovable crew of space misfits. Its provocatively dark storyline might its hurt rewatchability, plus the soundtrack was too alternative and too disappointing, but it was a great way for Gunn to end his tenure at Marvel Studios.

12. Killers Of The Flower Moon

I praise it heavily for its great acting, production design, cinematography, and music but those achievements couldn't completely overcome my lingering negativity towards this film. I felt it not to be an actual movie but a glorified HBO television series cut down into a compilation feature film. Not only does Scorsese seem to spend more redoing his usual wiseguy shtick then expand on the far more interesting Native American side of the story, he caused his own film's downfall by making way, way too long, clocking in at 206 minutes. Dear lord, I had actual walkouts at my local art theater because audience members couldn't stand how long it was! And as for Lily Gladstone, she delivers a good performance but it's certainly not the awe-inspiring, breathtaking, heavenly master class of acting every critic said or think it is.

13. Beau Is Afraid

There are things that I really loved and there are things that I really loathed in this movie. Regardless, I boosted it up my rankings just for the sheer audacious of it all. I simply can't stop thinking about Joaquin Phoenix's performance or the grand finale to the picture.

14. The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Nintendo and Illumination played it way too safe, especially with the totally unnecessary pop music needle drops. But I still had a Bullet Bill blast with all of the video game inspired hijinks and blatant fan service. Now can we please stop trying to make "Peaches" a thing?

15. Knock At The Cabin

Heavily hyped but quickly forgotten, M. Night Shyamalan delivered another effective Twilight Zone-like tale, carried heavily by a great turn from Dave Bautista.

16. Sword Art Online The Movie -Progressive- Scherzo of Deep Night

Still haven't watched the actual television series but I enjoyed this little adventure with Asuna and Kirito, even though it's a glorified television arc than an actual movie sequel.

17. Shin Ultraman

I remembered that I liked it but nothing really stayed with me save for a memorable supporting performance by Koji Yamamoto as a wily alien in disguise and Shinji Higuchi and Hideaki Anno's desperation to copy all of the direction and ideas they had for Shin Godzilla.

18. Cocaine Bear

A lot of laughs and gory fun was had with this one. Too bad it kinda fades away quickly save for it being one of Ray Liotta's last performances.

19. Creed III

I admired what Michael B. Jordan brought to the table as an actor and first time director, and Jonathan Majors was a tremendous menace. Unfortunately, the low stakes in the story, awkward green screening, and the total lack of Rocky Balboa caused this spinoff franchise to lose some of its luster.

Next are the unfortunate disappointments, the ones that had a few shining moments but were overwhelmed with poor creative decisions and flat entertainment.

20. Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken

My heart really goes out to this one, as I really was enamored with the animation and the family drama. But it just didn't know what it actually wanted to be, suffered greatly by false advertising, and gave way too much time and attention to Will Forte's annoying sea captain.

21. Asteroid City

Some great performances, including a memorable cameo from Margot Robbie, but Wes Anderson's antics and ideas are now becoming very tiresome. Another big foldout picture just to say gee, the 1950's and New York theater sure were interesting, huh? That's it?!

22. Infinity Pool

My Best Actor and Actress from last year shine again in this disturbing art indie but you can only handle so much repetitive ugly behavior from ugly rich tourists.

23. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Poor Indy. The dark and depressing bits greatly outweigh the well directed action hijinks and it amazes me that the makers thought audiences would like or at least be interested in Phoebe Waller-Bridge's character. Sad to say it but this property is just too stale and unappealing for modern viewers. Need proof? Save for one small kid, who was clearly dragged by her parents, I was the youngest person by two decades in my half-filled movie screening.

24. Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba -To The Swordsmith Village-

Great to see the amazing animation produced by Ufotable on a big screen but calling this a movie is really, really stretching it.

25. That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime The Movie: Scarlet Bond

People who always complain about Superman being too overpowered should sit through this. You'll be begging for the red cape and undies. I literally can't believe that the heroes easily solved everything even before the midpoint of the picture and then proceed to leave just so that the dull villains can come up with a new plan and the film could end with several boring one-sided fights.

And finally, we end with the six worst films of 2023.

26. Trolls Band Together

In one ear and out the other. Charm can only get you so far. I saw this in a packed theater full of kids and families and they were shockingly dead quiet throughout it.

27. Knights Of The Zodiac

Reminds me of the good old days of 90's bad video game adaptations, complete with slumming actors and laughable costumes. At least the action choreography is better and we get to see something no one thought would happen: an ultra buff Nick Stahl. Oh, and despite the title, there are only just two knights; one is good, the other is evil, and neither of them are Shiryu or Hyoga.

28. The Flash

I don't think it is as truly awful as other people think or say but it is still such a fascinating mess. Somebody seriously looked at the "time bubble" scenes and said yep, this is good.

29. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3

Very surprised to see this so low but quite frankly, it just isn't as funny or pleasing as the previous two. Nia Vardalos should not be in the director's chair. And to quote one of my favorite quotes from MST3K, just because you can edit doesn't mean you should. This film made me more fond of My Life In Ruins.

30. Meg 2: The Trench

You have to witness a lot of unbearably underlit "underwater" fracas and completely obvious lip service to China before you get to enjoy some dumb action fun towards the end, albeit near virtually bloodless.

31. The Devil Conspiracy

This was my top pick for the absolute worst film of the year since last January. Never thought I would ever see a Christian torture porn horror movie in my life, complete with some Dan Brown tendencies, forced impregnation, a needle drop of INXS' "Devil Inside", a pregnant woman downing a bottle of bleach, and a Jesus Wins LOL ending.

2023 Eurovision Song Contest Predictions

Another year, another round of predictions for the Eurovision Song Contest.

I changed things up yet again and made everything more simplified. Now you can easily see my thoughts, feelings, and predictions on who will qualify in the semi-finals, who will not, and who will likely win the contest.

To kick off these new changes, instead of usually placing them at the bottom of the article, here are my top ten favorite songs from this year's contest pre-rehearsals, in alphabetical order:

Austria

Belgium

Croatia

Czechia

Denmark

Finland

France

Georgia

Lithuania

Sweden

SEMI-FINAL 1 COUNTRIES THAT WILL QUALIFY TO THE GRAND FINAL

Croatia - Oh boy. My opinion of this has changed so many times. When I first watched Let 3's national final performance, I both rolled my eyes and was very intrigued. The song made my personal top ten thanks to its catchiness and originality but it is still a hard sell for the rest of Europe, especially the casual viewers. The Eurovision fandom think this will easily coast through with the televote but I still have reservations that it will be the next "Eat Your Salad" or worst, the next "Euro Neuro". Not helping matters is the recent decision for the band to end the performance in their undies. I still give it a pass to the grand final but I will not be shocked if it bombs and fails come Tuesday.

Czechia - Still questioning why they switched from their striking and colorful costumes in the music video to a bunch of pink attire (it has to a budget thing) but I think the strength of the tune and what Vesna have performance-wise will allow the fka Czech Republic to snatch up a golden ticket.

Finland - POTENTIAL WINNER. I love "Cha Cha Cha" and I love the national final performance. The song has become my most listened to track of the whole bunch this year. Though it has a high chance to win the contest, I expect it to instead realistically make the top five come Saturday. 

Israel - Man, color me shocked. I thought this would fail to qualify just based on the studio track but those rehearsal footage show that Noa Kirel is not here to muck about. Israel wants to show up "Slow-Mo" real bad and they got both guns locked and loaded.

Malta - This very millennial tune will get toes a tapping but there is the question of whether it will have staying power by the end of the semi-final. I think it will but then turn around and be at the bottom come the grand final.

Moldova - I like Pasha and the song but this may not qualify. Then again, we need some more ethnic bangers in this year's contest and there will be a flute-playing little person on stage.

Norway - Another POTENTIAL WINNER but only if people want a new queen to reign, or rather a new "Queen of Kings". I really wanted Ulrikke to finally have her shot to perform on the Eurovision stage but Alessandra was a quality pick, is a bundle of joy and can really belt it out, especially with the whistle note.

Portugal - Eurovision needs a happy, non-English bop to get the party started and have everybody clapping along. Portugal is right there to easily win over those hearts and minds.

Serbia - I frankly barely tolerate this song, which sucks because I usually love Serbia. Could be a potential 11th place of the night but the handsome looks of the singer and the uniqueness of the song could bring it pass the finish line.

Sweden - Not just a POTENTIAL WINNER but MOST LIKELY TO WIN. I mean come on, it's Loreen. The raw power and bombastic scope of "Tattoo". The epic stage design and the choreography with the "panini-press". Everything is coming up spades for Sweden. They just had to run a piss-poor rendition of Melodifestivalen to get here.

SEMI-FINAL 1 COUNTRIES THAT WILL BE ELIMINATED

Azerbaijan - This one was DOA upon the song's release. Even though the song is not bad if you want something cribbing the 90's sound, and the twins are quite photogenic, the whole thing feels like a total wash and is sure to do poorly with the televote.

Ireland - Come on, Ireland! Get it together, will ya?! This generic as hell entry keeps massively losing steam with each bad decision by the band and the country's delegation. From the ill-thought music video to the lead singer's dreadful gold jumpsuit, they are expected to fail.

Latvia - I like the band and the song, even though I was rooting for Markus Riva during the national final. Unfortunately, I feel like it will not make the top ten at all, largely due to its alternativeness. It could slip in however if the public ultimately rejects either Croatia or Serbia.

The Netherlands - If you listen to the studio track, this is a quality choice and should be an easy pick to qualify. But when you see and hear the two artists singing live, whether at the pre-parties or in the rehearsal footage, you will notice that there's no chemistry between the two and they can't really carry a tune. All that effort, including involving Duncan Laurence, and they blew it.

Switzerland - Another potential stealer but I feel like the public has had enough of sad boy ballads. Not to mention that Switzerland did infamously bad with the televote last year, only getting into the grand final via a high score from the judges.

SEMI-FINAL 2 COUNTRIES THAT WILL QUALIFY TO THE GRAND FINAL

Armenia - I'm giving this country the benefit of the doubt. "Future Lover" is an interesting tune and Armenia is pouring resources into the performance to snatch away people's attention. However, there is a part of me that thinks this is "Walking Out" all over again, sans several infamous pre-party performances.

Australia - Going last in the semi-final will certainly help Australia but I do believe it will be middle of the pack on Saturday.

Austria - This had so much steam coming into the contest and now there's a high chance of it ultimately failing on stage. Instead of getting some backup singers to help out with the highly catchy "Poe"'s and the operatic moments of "Who The Hell Is Edgar?", Teya and Salena seem to want to do everything on their own. They still have a likely chance to make it but everything could fall apart come Thursday.

Belgium - Please, please, please let this not be another Ben Michael David. I'm always a sucker for a queer anthem if it's got the juice and Gustaph seems to have plenty at his disposal. I also just love his attitude and treatment of his backup singers.

Cyprus - Talk about a glow up. Many a Eurovision fan were rolling their eyes and snarking at Cyprus this year, especially with their decision to get an Australian singer. And what did they do? They brought it in the staging department, at least from what we can see in the rehearsal footage. Fire, lights, and a lot of easy epicness, they really want Andrew Lambrou and "Break A Broken Heart" to stick with people.

Denmark - This one is hanging by a thread right now. I really like the tune but many listeners and observers have made their issues about the artist's vocal effects and actual singing voice well known across the web. The rehearsal footage isn't helping matters but I think the bop will get some love with the televote. 

Estonia - I'll be honest, I don't really know exactly why I think this will make the top ten of semi-final 2. Maybe it's because Alika has a great voice and can certainly belt out "Bridges". Or maybe this is just a pleasant enough entry to get some votes, only to get stuck in the middle or place near the bottom of the scoreboard in the grand final.

Georgia - Georgia is going big again but this time with a woman, where they have done better with. "Echo" is one of the songs this year that has sneaked up on a lot of people but I frankly was in awe of it upon first listen. Come on, European voters, please help break Georgia's non-qualifying streak!

Lithuania - I adore this lovely song. Monika Linkyte already has a lot of love with Eurovision fans for her memorable participation in the 2015 contest and this solo attempt is sure to add to it. Not so keen on the orange dress she's expected to wear but she is sure to deliver on Tuesday and, yes, on Saturday.

Poland - So much drama and controversy over a simple pop ditty. The song is very radio friendly, Blanka is beautiful and generates a lot of views, and everything looks great from the rehearsals. An easy pass. Now please, everybody, come down and relax.

SEMI-FINAL 2 COUNTRIES THAT WILL BE ELIMINATED

Albania - This has a chance to qualify thanks to the sheer power and love of family. On the other hand, it doesn't really hold your attention very long.

Greece - Let me add my opinion to the pile: Holy shit, he's only 16 years old and he has that voice?! This could work for the public but only if they get rid of his horrendous outfit. He looks like a teenage boy scout and it harshly takes away all of the energy of the song.

Iceland - Diljá is great in interviews and as a human being but "Power" needs more energy put into it. Alas, it's just an adequate but standard pop number and the performance aspect leads a lot to be desired.

Romania - Obnoxious. Didn't like it when it won the national final, has become worse now on the Eurovision stage thanks to a hideous outfit and god awful CG backgrounds.

San Marino - You lost everybody at "smell you like an animal." No chance at making it through and will likely end up towards the bottom of the entire contest.

Slovenia - As with Latvia, I like the band and the song but I think the public will have their fill on rock this year. But as Maneskin said, rock n' roll never dies and this may sneak its way into the grand final.

COUNTRIES THAT AUTO QUALIFY TO THE GRAND FINAL

France - Some think this has a chance to win but I say top ten at best. La Zarra has "it" and the song is French pop perfection but there are competitors that are more hungry for the crown.

Germany - The juries most likely will be less than kind to Lord of the Lost but I think they will get an okay amount from the televote to prevent Germany from placing dead last again.

Italy - Marco Mengoni will always have a space in my heart for "L'essenziale" but I'm not a huge fan of "Due Vite". Plus, that horrendous silver shirt he plans to wear on stage will deduct so many votes from the public.

Spain - Way too overhyped by the fandom, especially the large Spanish base. I like the audacity and artistic side of the tune but unless the performance is transformative and memorable, it will be forgotten by nearly everybody.

The United Kingdom - Hey look, the UK gave us a qualify followup after their stunning success last year. If everything goes right, the "host country" is sure to get another top ten placement and potentially have another crossover hit.

Ukraine - This was my grower of the pack. Didn't click with me a lot when it won Vidbir but it swaggered its way into my ears since. Sure to get a lot of love with the public but not as historical as last year.

The semi-finals will take place on May 9 and May 11, both starting at 3 PM EST. The grand final will take place on May 13 at the exact same time. Americans can view all three events via Peacock if they have a paid subscription to the service. The events will once again all be hosted by Johnny Weir, who is sure to bring his great enthusiasm and flamboyance to the proceedings. I still miss hearing Graham Norton as a commentator, especially with this one taking place in Liverpool, but Weir has proven to be a great choice for American viewers.

365 Days, 365 Songs - April

It's the last day of April and you know what that means. Time to reveal the next set of songs...

April is quite important to me because it is in fact my birth month. Due to this significance, I thought it was best to crack open a certain book titled "This Is Your Life" and pick out a collection of songs that really reflect my time on Earth and my own personal tastes.

And the 30 songs of April 2023 are:

Art Of Noise feat. Duane Eddy - "Peter Gunn Theme"

Billy Joel - "We Didn't Start The Fire"

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony - "Tha Crossroads"

Busta Rhymes - "Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check"

Camp Lo - "Luchini - This Is It"

Carly Simon - "Itsy Bitsy Spider"

The Commodores - "Nightshift"

Corey Hart - "Never Surrender"

The Disney Afternoon Studio Chorus - "Duck Tales Theme"

Falco - "Rock Me Amadeus"

Force M.D.'s - "Tender Love"

George Michael and Elton John - "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me"

Heart - "These Dreams"

Kriss Kross - "Jump"

La Bouche - Sweet Dreams"

Level 42 - "Something About You"

Limp Bizkit - "My Way"

Limp Bizkit - "Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)"

Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch feat. Loleatta Holloway - "Good Vibrations"

Meat Loaf - "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) [Single Edit]"

Michael Sembello - "Automatic Man"

Mike + The Mechanics - "All I Need Is A Miracle"

Naughty By Nature - "Feel Me Flow"

The Outfield - "Your Love"

Pet Shop Boys - "Westend Girls"

Polaris - "Hey Sandy"

Shanice - "I Love Your Smile"

Stardust - "Music Sounds Better With You"

Tevin Campbell - "I'm Ready"

Ziggy Marley & The Melody Makers - "Give A Little Love"

As briefly seen on this site many years ago, I'm a big pro wrestling fan. Though I don't watch it religiously as I seemingly once did, I still follow the "sport"; I view some matches or old televised episodes via YouTube, Twitch or Peacock, I listen to radio shows or podcasts, and I attend the occasional house show or live televised event.

Wrestlemania, the most important annual pro wrestling event for the WWE, took place on April 1st and 2nd this year. To help celebrate, and to help wash out the awfulness of Night 2's main event, I wanted to go through the history of Wrestlemania and get two songs that served as the official theme tune of the event. Sadly, Peter Gabriel's "Big Time" was dq'ed because I absolutely adore Gabriel's album So, I didn't bother to look for Saliva's "Ladies And Gentlemen", and I forgot yet again that Philip Bailey and Phil Collins' "Easy Lover" could have counted. Also, I don't think the mid-90s Wrestlemania theme, aka Linda McMahon's theme song, was available. Instead, I went to the WWE's Most Favorite Band (trademarked since 2003), Limp Bizkit.

I was a Limp Bizkit fan back in the late 90's/early 00's but never fully one largely due to my older brother's "ownership" of the band (bought all the CDs, dressed like Fred Durst, etc). Though I barely listen to them anymore, I still will praise the virtues of their song "My Way". You could make the case of it being the absolute masterpiece of nu metal, for better or worse. But what really makes it immortal was its usage as the theme for Wrestlemania X7, arguably the greatest Wrestlemania of all time, and serving as the culmination of the Stone Cold-The Rock feud and the end of the Attitude Era.

Unfortunately, I was unable to get the second theme song for a Wrestlemania supplied by Limp Bizkit, "Crack Addict", because it still hasn't been digitally released for purchase. This despite it also being the theme song to another phenomenal Wrestlemania, that being Wrestlemania XIX, as well being a far more enjoyable tune that practically everything on their then latest album Results May Vary. So instead, I got "Rollin'", the most famous song of theirs which was performed live at Wrestlemania XIX and served as the theme for The Undertaker for a spell.

For the first full week of April, I wanted to explore the early years of my childhood and pick out the songs that mattered a whole lot when I was a wee lad.

Though my first favorite song was most likely something from a movie, probably "Ghostbusters" or something Disney, the song that always pops up for me is "Itsy Bitsy Spider" by Carly Simon. My mom loved Carly Simon, especially the album Coming Around Again. I vividly remember her owning the cassette version of the album and how she loved to play it in the car, often mainly so I could sing along to "Itsy Bitsy Spider". I also remember how I very slowly started to enjoy the title track of the album, which "Itsy Bitsy Spider" is a slight remix of, more and more as time when on. But my favorite memory is when my family went on vacation one time and we decided to do a picnic by a lake. The clouds were a bit dark and the wind was blowing more fierce and sure enough it began to rain. Guess what I wanted to listen to through the car stereo as we waited out the wet weather?

My parents were relatively okay and fine with me listening to pop music as a little kid but they didn't share the same sentiment when it came to music videos. MTV was "banned" in my household and despite being more in-tune with their own love of adult contemporary, they plum forgot about or didn't have access to VH1. But every once in a while, I would sneak around via channel surfing and watch a full music video. And the one that really stuck with me was Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire". Still love the song despite what others say but oh boy, what a video to first see when you're young. Billy Joel all in black and mad as hell at those damn Cola Wars, the inclusion of disturbing pictures such as Nguyen Van Lem's execution, and that haunting ending. Very shocking for me at the time but my enjoyment of it and its mind-blowing nature helped prevent me from having any nightmares.

So those were potentially my first favorite song and first music video. What about my first album? That's easy: Time Has Come... The Best of Ziggy Marley & The Melody Makers. I got this album solely for "Give A Little Love", a song that I loved in part because it was featured in Men At Work. Yes, the Charlie Sheen-Emilio Estevez film (plus Keith David!). Didn't care for any of the other songs on the album, I just wanted "Give A Little Love".

I had to pay tribute to my adoration for animation as a kid so I went to what many still consider the greatest television block right next to NBC's Must See TV Thursday: The Disney Afternoon. Man, I loved watching that block through my elementary years and my brother and me just had a blast playing The Disney Afternoon Songbook album over and over again. I previously bought my favorite tune from the album, that being the theme to Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers sung by an uncredited The Jets, so I went to the second best Disney Afternoon theme song, "DuckTales". Oh yes, I went there. I also had to buy it because I remember having a great time seeing DuckTales The Movie: Treasure Of The Lost Lamp in theaters.

"Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch was the song that always got away from me as a kid. I really loved the high energy of it all, and that amazing sample/chorus by Loleatta Holloway, but I just never got around to getting it until illegally downloading it as a teen. I always associate the song to Starburst, a rollerskating rink that I went to many times as a kid and how whenever the DJ put the song on, I was immediately energized and ready to burst.

Ah, Kriss Kross and "Jump". That song was such a beast back in the day, especially if you were in elementary school. And yes, I did do the backwards pants thing once but never in public. One of my friends did it for a full day in school and immediately regretted it.

To close out Child Week, I got yet another television theme song that is greatly associated with a famous television block. From the big orange couch of SNICK, I picked up "Hey Sandy" by polaris, the theme to the cult Nickelodeon series The Adventures of Pete & Pete. It took some time for me to really get into alternative music despite living through its heyday but I was so transfixed by this tune from day one of the show, especially with its dreamy guitars and nonsensical lyrics. I wish the TV edit version of "Hey Sandy" was also available for purchase because the full album version has some audio samples at the beginning that I frankly don't like and I always love how the TV edit version lingers on the final "Hey!".

For the second week of April, I chose to really celebrate my birthday by going back in time and looking at what was on the Billboard Hot 100 around that date. And woo boy, what a great collection of pop songs to pick and choose.

I had to first go with Mike + The Mechanics' "All I Need Is A Miracle". I really liked "The Living Years" growing up, even though I didn't actually know who sang it and just referred to it as "Say It Loud, Say It Clear", but this little bop has become my absolute favorite from the pop supergroup.

Level 42's "Something About You" is another one of those 80's songs I fell for after being exposed to it via VH1 Classic, 80's radio stations and 80's CD compilations. But whatever you do, don't buy the album version. It's fine but it has an unnecessary long intro (starting to see a pattern forming this month?).

Not much to add about "These Dreams". It's a stone cold classic. I love Ann Wilson and all but I kinda like how Nancy Wilson was able to get a couple of hits for the group with herself on the lead vocals.

Ah, The Outfield. The band everyone thinks is an one-hit wonder despite them having several hit songs. I'm more of a big fan of some of their other songs, namely "Voices Of Babylon" and "My Paradise", but "Your Love" has lived forever in people's hearts. Practically hard not to enjoy.

I first heard Force M.D.'s "Tender Love" around the same time when Frankie J's "Don't Wanna Try" was a hit, which is really weird because the two sound so much alike. Also, getting this song made me realize that I really have to pull the trigger and finally watch Krush Groove one of these days.

"West End Girls" is one of the absolute best songs from the 80's bar none. A fantastic song to lose yourself into and/or a perfect tune to listen to while driving at night.

While "West End Girls" can be labeled as one of the the best songs from the 80's, "Rock Me Amadeus" can be labeled as one of the best songs to define the 80's. Falco is actually a pretty interesting artist and more than just a one-hit wonder, despite actually having a second hit here in the United States with "Vienna Calling". If you're ever interested, check out his song "Jeanny" and all of the history around it.

After the birthday break, I chose to do another week of revisiting my youth, this time going through my tween years.

If there ever was a movie made about my life, "I Love Your Smile", "I'm Ready", and "Feel Me Flow" would most certainly be playing in the background of scenes. That's because those three really did seem to play in the background all the time, whether in malls, stores, offices or parties. They really encapsulate the fleeting times where I was carefree but slowly starting to grow.

After a couple years of constantly arguing with them, sneaking in some secret viewings and pushing the limit on what I could watch, my parents finally lifted the "ban" on MTV around late 1995-early 1996. Now set free, I ingested as much as I could, well except for 120 Minutes which was too late to watch and I kinda thought it was pretentious. My taste in music rapidly started to change. I got way more into hip-hop and rap, with Busta Rhymes and Bone Thugs-n-Harmony being my true highlights thanks to their amazing music videos for "Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check" and "Tha Crossroads" respectively. I still couldn't buy their albums thanks to that pesky Parental Advisory sticker but I could at least settle for the singles on cassette or CD.

I also started to get more into electronic and dance music, with La Bouche being the biggest star of the latter genre at that moment thanks to "Be My Lover" and "Sweet Dreams". I thought about getting "Be My Lover", since I actually liked it a lot at the time and its music video used to play nonstop, but "Sweet Dreams" was a dark horse song for me at the time and it stuck like glue, eventually becoming one of my favorite 90's songs.

There's no better way to cap my tween period than a song that has "This Is It" in the title. Man, I feel like I'm the only person in the world that loves Camp Lo's "Luchini - This Is It". The beat is so good and the lyrical flow is so fresh.

So yeah, that's kinda where I leave my look back at my childhood. I really do mean it when I said I wanted to cap my tween years with Camp Lo's "Luchini". Not long after I got the "Luchini" single on cassette, my life turned upside down when my parents separated and later got divorce. I was still a kid but I suddenly no longer felt like one. And that was it.

I did think about doing a teen week to round out the month but I pretty much covered what my taste in music was during those years in my January article. Plus, if I had to do only songs released at that time, the song selection might look like something from a NOW That What I Call Music! CD. For example, Kylie Minogue, 311, and N.O.R.E. were in consideration.

Instead, I wanted the last week of April to cover some of my absolute favorites, including some songs that I would definitely put on my personal Top 100 of all time.

One such song on my Top 100 would be "Peter Gunn" by The Art Of Noise feat. Duane Eddy. A great television theme song that is spruced up for the 80's by an eclectic electronic band yet still retains that amazing twang by Eddy's guitar. Further helping its case is its cinematic music video, which blends film noir, comedy and ballet well together and features Rik Mayall as a goofy gumshoe.

"Pete Gunn" was the second single off of The Art Of Noise's In Visible Silence, an album that means quite a lot to me for two reasons. First, it's an album I've been waiting to get for many years now, as it remained unavailable for a long time. When I saw that it was finally available on iTunes this year via a Deluxe Edition, I was shocked and amazed. Alas, I will have to wait till 2024 to purchase the album fully (just a little longer "Legs" and "Paranoimia", I promise) and just settle for my favorite song for now. And secondly, In Visible Silence was originally released in April 1986.

Now for another favorite, this time from... Michael Sembello?! The guy who did "Maniac"?!! What could he possibly make that's so great, you say? Well that would be "Automatic Man"! This song, which technically charted at #34 on the Billboard chart and thus makes him a two-hit wonder, is such a delicious treat for anyone that loves 80's snythpop schlock. I like many was first introduced to it through the YouTuber Todd in the Shadows, who covered Michael Sembello in his video series One Hit Wonderland. And I'm so glad to be made aware of the tune and especially of its gloriously over-the-top music video. It has since become my most played track of all time on iTunes and it seems to follow me wherever I go, whether it is in music video collections or featured on Twitch streams, most notably FORGOTTEN_VCR.

I first came across Corey Hart's "Never Surrender" via a television commercial promoting Cool Rock, a compilation CD featuring a bunch of 80's and 90's songs that you never would call as cool or rock (Wilson Phillips' "Hold On"?). This commercial used to play so many times when I was a kid that I had it memorized and could sing along to the song clips ("Baby, come to me... / Joannnnnnna! / Ladddy in reddddddd..."). Most likely due to this lasting memory of paid advertising, I have surprisingly listened to "Never Surrender" far and away more than Corey Hart's other big hit throughout my life. I find it very fascinating that while the song is uplifting and tries to empower the listener, it's not as bombastic and/or pompous like other 80's power ballads. It keeps a hint of darkness to the proceedings, retaining the song's message of raising your voice during tough times.

Now, I fudged the rules with this next pick. For you see, I bought Meat Loaf's Bat Out Of Hell II album last year via iTunes, thus "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" should be ineligible. But you see, the single edit version of the song wasn't on the original album way back when, nor on the digital album that I bought. Plus, the single edit version is much shorter and doesn't retain the album version's length at 12 minutes!

I just had to include "I'd Do Anything For Love..." here. A big chunk of myself wouldn't be here if not for that song. My dad absolutely loved Meat Loaf. One of his favorite cassettes was Bat Out Of Hell, which he would listen to while in his den or have on hand when driving his black sports car. Seeing how interested I was with the album, particularly with its audacious title and the incredible album artwork, he would play some of it for me. While I didn't particularly grabbed on to it immediately save for maybe "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad", something about Meat Loaf and the musical production of Jim Steinman seemingly struck a chord. Fast forward to 1993, where Meat Loaf drops "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" on to the world. The Earth shook when he did and I utterly adored it. I loved the single. I loved the music video. I loved that my dad got the album, on CD NO LESS! Thanks to my dad's fancy audio equipment, I was able to rip the song to one of my mixtapes, albeit having to settle with the original 12 minute version. And from that song, my tastes in art began to blossom.

I couldn't have Daft Punk be a part of this project but I was able to settle for Stardust, the offshoot project that Thomas Bangalter worked on, and their song "Music Sounds Better With You". I always remember the song as the tune that would often play in the background whenever a MTV VJ would have a brief spot to talk to the viewer or featured in the original television airings of Daria, one of my all time favorite shows. The song is great and all but man do I wish I was able to buy the single version. It's a lot more easier to listen and slightly less repetitive (oh the irony) than the original version.

Another song that suffered the same "too long" fate was The Commodores "Nightshift". I loved the song since first seeing its music video on VH1 Classic but the band's ode to their fallen brothers in music is a bit better 30 seconds shorter.

And to close out the month, I went with "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me", specifically the George Michael and Elton John duet that was white hot in the early 90's. I love this version so much that I honestly can't really enjoy Elton John's original version or any other version for that matter. George Michael just kills it in the first half and then your goosebumps get goosebumps when he introduces Elton John and the crowd explodes. I don't know if I would place the song in my Top 10 but it would be very high on my Top 100.