2023 was a year in the history of mankind. There were some good things, there were some bad things, and there were some thing things.
That's honestly all I really can say to sum up my feelings about last year overall. Now look, I'm not deliberately trying to be an asshole and just wave off the many major events and unfortunate tragedies that happened, such as the Hawaii wildfires, Russia's continuing invasion of Ukraine, the Hamas terrorist attack on Israel and resulting extensive conflict amid the Gaza Strip, or the huge spike in antisemitism and other ethnic hatred all over the world. Not to mention the sudden rise and rapid advancement of AI technology, which generated a lot of moral/ethical debates and might brings us one step closer to Skynet thanks to the money-hungry business idiots that are mostly pushing for it. But the peculiar thing is that most of this stuff happened more recently, within the second half of the year. Practically everything in the first six months of 2023 seem now to be a total blur (remember the bank crisis we briefly had?). Also not helping the matters of memory is the sheer fact that since the last January 1st, practically everyone has been suffering from the intense foreboding of 2024, especially come this November.
However, if you had to ask me about 2023 when it comes to media and entertainment, I can tell you a lot more. It was a stellar year for video games, as there was a multitude of excellent titles including a new Zelda and Mario, but when it came to the industry itself, there were a lot of job losses, studio closures, and some rather unsavory business tactics. Music flat out sucked, dominated heavily by a lot of disappointing to terrible album releases, controversial but ultimately forgettable country trash and TikTok influenced earworms that had a shelf life far less than an one-hit wonder. The television business suffered greatly from a lot of real-life drama, numerous delays and cancellations including the Emmys, and viewers' desperation for new content this side of 2020, though there was success for Succession, Netflix, anime, long-running reality shows, and the NFL (now with an extra dose of Taylor Swift!). But when it came to the movies, there was a lot to experience.
Everybody can sum up 2023 in film easily: Barbenheimer and union strikes. Movie theaters were really and truly alive again since the pandemic thanks to the release of both Barbie and Oppenheimer on July 21st. Going beyond the "one for him, one for her" intentions, the two films drew rave reviews from critics and audiences and became two of the most celebrated achievements of 2023. However, despite all of the box office money, internet chatter, and cinematic euphoria, they came out right in the middle of the heated WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. These two strikes dominated all of the attention last year and seemed to never end despite many, including myself, predicting wisely that it would eventually be resolved come the fall. Still, America had to endure a lot of ugliness, as both unions fought the big corporations over several issues including streaming profits and the usage of AI. "Ride Or Die" mentality was very high, especially with the power of the internet, as a couple of celebrities suffered severe backlashes when they nearly tried to cross the picket line, most notably Drew Barrymore. Meanwhile, the pathetic suits up top, including Warner Bros Discovery CEO David Zaslav (more on that smeghead later), proceeded to spout dumb business and P.R. bullshit while avoiding the tomatoes from their high perches. Those shmucks of course would stupidly realize that they were way too late to settle with the unions by November, causing a huge business loss for the film and television industries that will continue to effect everything going forward into this new year.
There were some great highlights buried amid all of the turmoil. Proper video game adaptations started to finally come out and win over the skeptics, with the much hyped The Super Mario Bros. Movie doing so well it becomes the second highest grossing movie of the year. People's long held wishes for more mid-level affair to come to theaters started to see them slowly come true thanks to the likes of M3GAN and Cocaine Bear. Shah Rukh Khan became a bonafide megastar once again thanks to Pathaan and Jawan becoming two huge Bollywood blockbusters across the globe. Concert films became the next big thing, with A24 re-releasing Stop Making Sense in IMAX theaters to thunderous applause and Taylor Swift continuing her world conquest thanks to the unbelievable success of Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (oh, and Beyonce did well too but just for one weekend). And Japanophiles were ecstatic at the many, mostly anime, theatrical releases spread throughout the year, crescendoing with a boffo Godzilla pic and Hayao Miyazaki getting to hold the #1 crown for one weekend.
But sadly, there were even more lowlights besides the strikes. WBD CEO and all-around piece of shit David Zaslav spent the year enacting his terrible ideas for the company, including gutting more content from HBO Max (including deleting What's Opera, Doc?) and changing their streaming service's name to just Max in order to "entice" new subscribers. He also almost got away with doing another tax write-off for the company by shelving the completed film Coyote vs. Acme, only to face immense backlash in public and private for it. He would get the last laugh of the year unfortunately by announcing a potential merger of WBD and Paramount, which no one beside Wall Street wants (Hooray! More layoffs!).
Disney also tried the "screw our creators" tactic when they too removed several films and shows from Disney+. The idiots at the House of Mouse also literally planned to remove Howard, a documentary about the late great Howard Ashman, from the streaming service on the same day as the release of their ill-fated The Little Mermaid live-action adaptation, only to stop the deletion one day after the announcement due to obvious backlash. But Disney had more important things to be worried about, namely their increasingly personal battle with Florida governor Ron DeSantis, the fall in popularity and quality of Marvel movies, the meh response of Pixar's Elemental, and their centennial catastrophe that was Wish. Oh, and that whole thing about Steamboat Willie now going in the public domain.
Jonathan Majors had the biggest seesaw year out of anyone, starting off 2023 as one of Hollywood's next big stars and getting acclaim for his performance in Creed III, only to end the year convicted of assault and harassment, fired from all future Marvel endeavors, and his potential Oscar hopeful Magazine Dreams pretty much permanently shelved. All of the major awards organizations suffered embarrassments, Best Buy further rang the death bell for physical media by announcing the elimination of blu-rays being carried in their stores in 2024, Sound of Freedom becomes a "surprise success" at the box office thanks to shady dealings, the DCU further spiraled downward, Universal's $400 million bet The Exorcist: Believer fails with everyone and finally causes David Gordon Green to be fired, there was still too damn many films having a runtime over 2 and half hours, and last but not least, Netflix saw their Oscar dreams shatter when their big Sundance acquisition Fair Play enjoys a cup of coffee in the big time before dropping into obscurity and Maestro wows critics but "bombs" on their service.
As for me personally, my life in 2023 was just like my description of the year: some stuff was good, some stuff was bad, and the majority of it just existed. Still not doing too well in the home viewing department; didn't really touch Netflix a lot, wasted Max save for the show Winning Time, Peacock is for Eurovision and WWE only, and I again spent way too much time with YouTube. My beloved Netflix DVD subscription came to a close thanks to the company's decision to shutter it on September 29. I ended up with my never returned DVD of Lost Weekend (had it since 11/14/2017!) and a slightly scratched Dark Night of the Scarecrow. I, like practically everybody, didn't get any free extra DVDs from Netflix. I spent seemingly all of my time and energy into the 365 Days, 365 Songs project and finished it on time, i.e. bought all the songs, but I didn't do all of the writing that I was supposed to have up on this site at the end of each month.
That all being said, I kind of made up for these shortcomings and disappointments by thoroughly enjoying my time at the movie theaters. I finally got to see American Graffiti for the first time (shocker: it's great!), I partook in GKIDS' Studio Ghibli Film Festival, and I had an amazing experience seeing Stop Making Sense in IMAX. I laughed, I cried, I rolled my eyes, and I did several rewatches often in order to bring others back to theaters, show them something new and different, or just to keep them company.
My final total of 2023 films that I watched is 31. It is now time to arrange them in the order of my opinion, from the best to the worst.
Yet again, I have a true top ten films of the year, but this time it's firmly locked in. No wishy washy feelings about any of them.
I could go on and on about how this movie richly explores the idea of true love or personal identity or whatever that would make me a fancy pants critic. All I really want to say is that this is an exquisite debut feature by Celine Song, supplemented with three terrific performances, a rich screenplay, beautiful direction and cinematography, a moving score, and a magnificent ending that left me in a pool of tears.
3. Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse
4. Barbie
5. Suzume
6. The Boy And The Heron
7. Spirited Away: Live On Stage
8. Godzilla Minus One
9. The Iron Claw
10. The Holdovers
11. Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3
12. Killers Of The Flower Moon
13. Beau Is Afraid
14. The Super Mario Bros. Movie
15. Knock At The Cabin
16. Sword Art Online The Movie -Progressive- Scherzo of Deep Night
17. Shin Ultraman
18. Cocaine Bear
19. Creed III
20. Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken
21. Asteroid City
22. Infinity Pool
23. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
24. Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba -To The Swordsmith Village-
25. That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime The Movie: Scarlet Bond
26. Trolls Band Together
27. Knights Of The Zodiac
28. The Flash
29. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3
30. Meg 2: The Trench
31. The Devil Conspiracy
2. Oppenheimer
Though I still feel that it's a bog standard "rise and fall" narrative that's just jumbled up to be creative and it evaporates all of the tension by straight up telling the viewer the outcome within the opening minutes, I will not discount just how absolutely masterful this movie is and how well it achieves its ambitions. Endlessly watchable thanks to Christopher Nolan and his creative crew and a killer's row of talented actors who are all at the top of their game.
A part of me believes I'm rating this way too high right now, falsely believing this will be sitting next to The Empire Strikes Back as the standout film of a franchise trilogy. But then I think about the all-encompassing artistry that the creators laid bare on the screen, from the watercolored backgrounds of Spider-Gwen's world to the visual wow that is Spider-Punk. Or how enthralling the chase sequence that nearly takes up the entire second half of the film is. Or how despite the ridiculous number of endings this side of Return of the King, the audience still has to linger on a shocking twist that was wisely set up. I don't love it as much as Into The Spider-Verse but I can't deny its majesty.
This was so, so close to being as perfect as the titular Mattel doll. Two amazing lead performances, a witty script, astonishing art direction, fantastic costume design, and a director willing to go all out. Too bad it drops the ball in the anti-climatic final act before desperately recovering it for a killer ending.
Makoto Shinkai continues his streak of charming romantic dramas coated in magical realism, this time with a walking kiddie chair, a mischievous spirit cat, and very explicit references to the 2011 Tohoku earthquake.
On one hand, it's another magical experience spun from the imagination of Hayao Miyazaki. On the other, it's an endlessly fascinating exploration of an artist coming to terms with his own life, his ideals, and what he brought to the world. Of all of the big potentially final auteur movies we got last year, this is the one that refuses to fade away from my mind.
I don't care if you think this shouldn't qualify for this list or debate whether it is a movie or not. This filmed presentation of the recent stage adaptation of the beloved 2001 Hayao Miyazaki film was one of the most fun experiences I had in movie theaters last year and it expertly showed the true magic of theater creativity.
The newest perfect example to shut up any detractor that says that a kaiju movie can't be taken seriously. An all-around exceptional epic not really seen much since the 1990s, complete with big action set pieces, historic plights, human drama, and some pontificating preaching. And as much as it's crucial to the film's themes and plot, utilizing the phrase "the war is not over" brings some unintentional hilarity for those who are fans of Rambo.
Indie writer-director Sean Durkin returns to the spotlight with a warm yet troubling exploration of the Von Erich family and the 1980s pro wrestling environment that they helped shape and would later fall victim to. My star rating had to be lowered however by the complete exclusion of Chris Von Erich from the story and actor Jeremy Allen White simply not being as tall or Adonis-level handsome as the real Kerry Von Erich.
Alexander Payne removed some of his trademark bitterness in order to deliver a wonderfully shaggy dramedy set at a 1970's boarding school around Christmas. Paul Giamatti, Da'Vine Joy Randolph, and newcomer Dominic Sessa delivered great and funny performances and helped give the usual school plot elements a refreshing take.
Next up are nine films that I thought were pretty good to good enough to warrant a viewing. They just had a thing or two or five that kept it from making my top ten.
Doing what Marvel seems to be unable to do anymore, James Gunn gave us another highly entertaining superhero movie with his lovable crew of space misfits. Its provocatively dark storyline might its hurt rewatchability, plus the soundtrack was too alternative and too disappointing, but it was a great way for Gunn to end his tenure at Marvel Studios.
I praise it heavily for its great acting, production design, cinematography, and music but those achievements couldn't completely overcome my lingering negativity towards this film. I felt it not to be an actual movie but a glorified HBO television series cut down into a compilation feature film. Not only does Scorsese seem to spend more redoing his usual wiseguy shtick then expand on the far more interesting Native American side of the story, he caused his own film's downfall by making way, way too long, clocking in at 206 minutes. Dear lord, I had actual walkouts at my local art theater because audience members couldn't stand how long it was! And as for Lily Gladstone, she delivers a good performance but it's certainly not the awe-inspiring, breathtaking, heavenly master class of acting every critic said or think it is.
There are things that I really loved and there are things that I really loathed in this movie. Regardless, I boosted it up my rankings just for the sheer audacious of it all. I simply can't stop thinking about Joaquin Phoenix's performance or the grand finale to the picture.
Nintendo and Illumination played it way too safe, especially with the totally unnecessary pop music needle drops. But I still had a Bullet Bill blast with all of the video game inspired hijinks and blatant fan service. Now can we please stop trying to make "Peaches" a thing?
Heavily hyped but quickly forgotten, M. Night Shyamalan delivered another effective Twilight Zone-like tale, carried heavily by a great turn from Dave Bautista.
Still haven't watched the actual television series but I enjoyed this little adventure with Asuna and Kirito, even though it's a glorified television arc than an actual movie sequel.
I remembered that I liked it but nothing really stayed with me save for a memorable supporting performance by Koji Yamamoto as a wily alien in disguise and Shinji Higuchi and Hideaki Anno's desperation to copy all of the direction and ideas they had for Shin Godzilla.
A lot of laughs and gory fun was had with this one. Too bad it kinda fades away quickly save for it being one of Ray Liotta's last performances.
I admired what Michael B. Jordan brought to the table as an actor and first time director, and Jonathan Majors was a tremendous menace. Unfortunately, the low stakes in the story, awkward green screening, and the total lack of Rocky Balboa caused this spinoff franchise to lose some of its luster.
Next are the unfortunate disappointments, the ones that had a few shining moments but were overwhelmed with poor creative decisions and flat entertainment.
My heart really goes out to this one, as I really was enamored with the animation and the family drama. But it just didn't know what it actually wanted to be, suffered greatly by false advertising, and gave way too much time and attention to Will Forte's annoying sea captain.
Some great performances, including a memorable cameo from Margot Robbie, but Wes Anderson's antics and ideas are now becoming very tiresome. Another big foldout picture just to say gee, the 1950's and New York theater sure were interesting, huh? That's it?!
My Best Actor and Actress from last year shine again in this disturbing art indie but you can only handle so much repetitive ugly behavior from ugly rich tourists.
Poor Indy. The dark and depressing bits greatly outweigh the well directed action hijinks and it amazes me that the makers thought audiences would like or at least be interested in Phoebe Waller-Bridge's character. Sad to say it but this property is just too stale and unappealing for modern viewers. Need proof? Save for one small kid, who was clearly dragged by her parents, I was the youngest person by two decades in my half-filled movie screening.
Great to see the amazing animation produced by Ufotable on a big screen but calling this a movie is really, really stretching it.
People who always complain about Superman being too overpowered should sit through this. You'll be begging for the red cape and undies. I literally can't believe that the heroes easily solved everything even before the midpoint of the picture and then proceed to leave just so that the dull villains can come up with a new plan and the film could end with several boring one-sided fights.
And finally, we end with the six worst films of 2023.
In one ear and out the other. Charm can only get you so far. I saw this in a packed theater full of kids and families and they were shockingly dead quiet throughout it.
Reminds me of the good old days of 90's bad video game adaptations, complete with slumming actors and laughable costumes. At least the action choreography is better and we get to see something no one thought would happen: an ultra buff Nick Stahl. Oh, and despite the title, there are only just two knights; one is good, the other is evil, and neither of them are Shiryu or Hyoga.
I don't think it is as truly awful as other people think or say but it is still such a fascinating mess. Somebody seriously looked at the "time bubble" scenes and said yep, this is good.
Very surprised to see this so low but quite frankly, it just isn't as funny or pleasing as the previous two. Nia Vardalos should not be in the director's chair. And to quote one of my favorite quotes from MST3K, just because you can edit doesn't mean you should. This film made me more fond of My Life In Ruins.
You have to witness a lot of unbearably underlit "underwater" fracas and completely obvious lip service to China before you get to enjoy some dumb action fun towards the end, albeit near virtually bloodless.
This was my top pick for the absolute worst film of the year since last January. Never thought I would ever see a Christian torture porn horror movie in my life, complete with some Dan Brown tendencies, forced impregnation, a needle drop of INXS' "Devil Inside", a pregnant woman downing a bottle of bleach, and a Jesus Wins LOL ending.
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