Battle: Los Angeles - Review

I thought that I reached that point in my life as a cinephile and critic where cynicism kicks fully in and the concept of expectations and anticipation is nonexistent. For instance, I wasn't one of those eager nerdy fans awaiting and trumpeting the long-gestated sequel to TRON. However, BATTLE: LOS ANGELES was one of the movies to break this state of mind. I grew very eager to see it after its very well-made teaser trailers. But of course, like many other films, the final product should have stayed as a trailer, as BATTLE: LOS ANGELES is a very horrible movie and one of the worst films so far this year.

Here in the review is where the plot is described but honestly there really is no script in this film. It just throws about twenty characters, each with barely any development or originality beyond a simple trope, into way too many firefights before a beyond ridiculous third act. Basically to sum it up, aliens have landed on Earth to destroy any oceanic cities in order to capture the water for their nature resources. We follow a group of Marines as they are tasked to enter the now-ravaged Los Angeles in order to rescue some civilians hiding out in a police precinct before a massive bomb run annihilates the city.

The plot didn't have to a grandiose exploration on selected themes or some type of allegory. This was clearly supposed to be sci-fi war film for the popcorn mindset. But there is no attachment, no connection to the viewer and the screen. Characters die and there's no true heart-tugging. Just a lot of ironic smirking and questions of who was that that just got shot. All of the marines just blend together without any standouts beside Aaron Eckhart. He is clearly trying to make something out of his role, a role that I still don't know his name beyond "Staff Sergeant", but the words coming out of his mouth betrays his charisma and presence.

Christopher Bertolini has devised an absurdly stupid script. I could point out the many film rip-offs he plagiarizes but I just want to tear this asunder. All of the lines are stock male maschismo "hoo-rah" war vernacular. None of the few female characters, not even Michelle Rodriguez, have any importance and are often used as the underlings of the male characters. The civilian characters are practically post-modernism creations; There are just brain-dead whining and crying tools for the marines to be lumbering around. Then there is the plot holes: why the importance of finding the aliens' weakspot if they just keep blowing them up, the idea of driving out a disaster area on the highway without any strategic advantage, and the fact that the aliens could have just taken the ocean water in a neglected spot on Earth without any invading forces.

The truly worst parts of this film, and what drops any quality and entertainment it had, are the extremely blatant marine propaganda. There is a very long, jaw-dropping sequence where the surviving characters drop everything just because one civilian died. Several marines have died with any word or response, but this one civilian needs glorification. So Aaron Eckhart's character talks with the civilian's offspring and literally calls him "the little marine". Then he talks on and on about how awesome humanity and marines are before chewing out a fellow marine who questions his lack of sadness for the death of marines over in Iraq that he commanded. This unbelievably stupidity is further helped with the film's ending, that will make any viewer or fan of THE HURT LOCKER to shriek out in disbelief.

The film's visual effects for the aliens and their spacecraft were simply decent. They don't stand out but they don't look ridiculous either. The cinematography is terrible, constantly shoving the camera into the actors' faces and shaking around as if we are supposed to believe in the "reality" taken place. The editing is spastic and often hard to distinguish what's happening. Sound design and mixing is barely capable of handling a film on the Sci-Fi Network, as every frame lacks any fear or dread being hinted at. The score is simply just stock war tripe, hammering on the same emotions over and over again.

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES is certainly one of the worst films of the year. Granted, it is not a total buzzkill or very insulting to the senses. There are a few small diamonds in the rough, such as a long shot where you clearly see the wave of destruction spreading from the Pacific Ocean to the heart of Los Angeles. But the film is largely propaganda without any fun or irony. It is simply a piece of celluoid vapor.

FINAL REVIEW: 1 / 5