The introduction of this PG-13 movie has heavy implications of rape. No, I'm not making an exaggeration just to stand on my soap box. SUCKER PUNCH does in fact start by having our main character and her underage sister being violated by the eyes of their fat and pampered step-father while he constantly wets his lips. These allusions don't end there in the beginning; Several later scenes has the slimy male characters wrestle the heroines down and talk about how they like to play with their "toys". I just find it funny that THE KING'S SPEECH gets a R rating for one scene where a man cusses out all of his repression and ridicule he has kept hidden but SUCKER PUNCH, a clearly edited down rated-R movie, gets away with multiple virginal perils.
SUCKER PUNCH is a giant pile of damaged goods suited more for film trailers and Mad Libs. The wannabe "deep" script is, in a perfect word, a piece of tissue. After all, it has pretty women put in several male fantasy worlds with plenty of guns, bullets, mechs and samurai swords. Ain't-it-cool auteur Zack Snyder thinks he is also bringing entertainment to female viewers with extensive melodrama and a burlesque-musical storyline but there is no great joy, no dancing. Just a lot of empty action sequences with no tension and an overall mean-spirited tone.
Baby Doll, actual name, has been sent to the Lennox Home for the Mentally Insane while a cover of the Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" plays. Subtle, Snyder is not. After a very fast flash forward to a key important scene, Baby Doll thinks back to her past at the asylum but now it has been redesigned as The Cotton Club with a brothel attached to it. She concocts a master escape plan with five of the girls while exploiting her natural and exotic dancing skills on the men, which are never shown, to mask their thievery of four items. And for some reason, i.e. Snyder's teenage doodles and fan fiction, these robberies are set in steampunk WWI with zombies, a lost Lord of the Rings kingdom, and a hyperspeed space train.
Snyder and Steve Shibuya truly believe that their script has a lot of depth, with its sci-fi, surreal, and cinematic ideas but the only thing interesting about it is how come Terry Gilliam hasn't called his lawyer before this was released. The film ho heartily steals the main elements and plot points of the eccentric British director's BRAZIL but thankfully doesn't take that film's alternate "Love Conquers All" ending. We never learn the backstories of the fellow female inmates beside that two of them, Sweet Pea and Rocket, are runaway sisters. Gee, I wonder if this characterization is relatable to the main character's problems. Outside of their badass dream versions, all of the women behave very stupidly, neglecting to hide their Macguffins properly and not noticing that the male orderlies can easily figure out their plans. It's sad that the only ones who are smart and really sane are the unlikable villains. The writers try to pull a Russ Meyer by turning female objectification back on people with some throwaway lines and the battle scenes, which could have been great and interesting to see. However, this is rendered mute thanks to the sadistic and depressing final third that seemed to have been directed by Michael Haneke. And like all visually epic films, the rest of the script is riddled with big plot holes and stilted dialogue.
There are some diamonds in the very hard rough. Though I criticized the dream battles as being empty, they do bring some entertainment thanks to the choregraphed gunplay. The extensive art direction is very good, and the costume design fits the mood of the war and prison scenes. Like all of Zack Snyder's films, the soundtrack is the biggest highlight thanks to rocking and electronica driven cover songs, even when it is too on-the-nose with the visual storytelling. Except for the main actress Emily Browning, who has expressive eyes but lumbers and emotes like a Skipper doll, the cast deliver good performances. The true standouts are Abbie Cornish, who's very believable and awesome as the bitter and tough Sweat Pea, and Carla Gugino as the head madam/psychiatrist of the mental institution. Scott Glenn steals every scene he's in as the mysterious old man who gears up the girls.
You know your movie is pretty bad when the end credits are the truly entertaining moment. Here, Carla Gugino and Oscar Issac, who plays the head villain, sing Roxy Music's "Love Is the Drug". You get high-energy dancing, real charisma, and plenty of showgirls. Not a bunch of angst, crying and hollow bullet shells. Unless you want to see Hollywood's glorification of the upskirt shot, stick firmly to Russ Meyer's filmography or even Andy Sidaris'. Insert fist pun here.
FINAL REVIEW: 2 / 5
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