I hate being insulted in the first minutes of a movie. No George Clooney's character Matt King, I have never seen Hawaii as only a paradise. I've always been aware that it is just another state and has problems just like everyone else. I'm not stupid nor have I been educated or believed of its "eternal peace and tranquility" by media myths and marketing. It is no Shangri-La. Hell, even people died inside that utopia.
THE DESCENDANTS is one of those films that make you so angry at the crew behind it, both for how manipulative and exploitative the film is and how much of the talent is wasted. This film was written by Alexander Payne, Nat Fixon, and Jim Rash. Payne has written and directed some great dramedies such as ABOUT SCHMIDT and especially SIDEWAYS. Fixon and Rash are both members of the comedy troupe The Groundlings, with Rash getting special mention for his current role on the television show Community. Instead of something funny and charming or a bleak drama, these three just made a glorified television movie with a horrendous script and simply only serviceable performances.
Nobody in the cast deserves punishment or sadly any acclaim either. Clooney has been touted all year as the best here but he runs on auto-pilot except for scenes involving anger. He wasn't directed and blocked properly, most notably in a scene where he's apparently waiting to hug his daughter but looks confused and stiff instead. The two daughters, played by Shailene Woodley and Amara Miller, seem to try to act natural but the script calls for them to bring the comedy only by constantly swearing. See, it's funny cause they are young and are being naughty. Yes, I'm aware kids say expletives, I was one of them after all, but there is no other punchlines and gags. Just a lot of hackneyed sentences and exposition dumps that talented performers such as Robert Forster and Judy Greer have to deliver.
I can not stress how much I loathe this script. As stated earlier, Clooney is Matt King, a descendant of the King family who inherited and owns a giant peace of ocean land ready for developers. His wife Elizabeth has been in a coma due to a boating accident and he can't take care of his daughters without her cause they be all like crazy. How can a man handle female children when that's supposed to be a mother's job? That's not my opinion, but the opinion of both Matt and the film. Anyway, rampant misogyny aside, Matt is now forced to pull the plug due to his wife's declining health and has to tell everyone before she finally succumbs. He then finds out from his oldest child that Elizabeth was cheating on him with someone later to be revealed as a home retailer named Brian Speer (Matthew Lillard). He wants to find and confront him while at the same time is heckled and lectured by his cousins about the pending sale of the land to several prospects.
The only thing moving in this slow film is pure misery. Death, suffering, and past sins are hard to deal with as a human being but it is not conveyed properly here. When it should be shown, such as when the youngest daughter is finally told, Payne drops the volume in favor of melancholy, happy Hawaiian music. This music is everywhere and ruins so many moments that could have been great for the cast. When there is no music to distract you, Payne forces Clooney or the other characters to explicitly tell you like a flock of sheep; the entire opening is nothing but Clooney explaining in a heavy voice-over the entire plot and his feelings. It also doesn't help that Matt doesn't tell anyone of the new revelations about Elizabeth's character, so we have to just sit there with him as he is insulted by others for not treating her properly. Matt even betrays his new feelings for her by acting hypocritical whenever someone else, including his also suffering older daughter, insults her on her hospital bed. Then, there is Sid (Nick Krause), a side character who is glued to the King family's proceedings only for us to laugh at his mental and social deficiencies. The script thinks it can make this creation critical to the plot later when he and Matt have a special man to man talk but it still doesn't hide the badly made stitching away from the viewer.
The writers try to make this land sale side plot important, going so far as to tie it up later with the main plot. However, it is so boring, cliche and unnecessary. King was all forward to selling it but just because of one angry mother and one unexpected visit to the site, it changes everything he believes. The biggest problem with it entirely, however, is by the time the signing is to take place, King's choice is more of petty revenge rather than his actual true beliefs. Even if he decides to not sign, the land has to sold in the next seven years, so where's the tension to be had? But since this is a deliberately made movie, a major business change must be synced with a major life change for maximum emotion from the audience. How insulting and degrading of you, Alexander Payne.
I have seen many awful, terrible, atrocious films this year but THE DESCENDANTS is just plain despicable and misleading. No humor or heart, no new way of seeing and experiencing life. It is a badly made Oscar bait film, filled to the brim with vile and mediocrity.
FINAL REVIEW: 1 / 5
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