Though I never have been assailed for it by anyone, I still stick to my opinion that 300 was a very good film. It works as a comic book film, a glorious Greek times film, a camp classic, a "movies for guys who like movies" film, etc. 300 was so effective in pop culture and the zeitgeist that it served as the base movie for one of Friedberg and Seltzer's atrocious parody films. This despite the fact that 300 is already hilarious to laugh at.
IMMORTALS could have followed as one of the better, more likely only, films of the 300 rip-offs and it does, sorta of. I didn't go into this expecting a Paddy Chayefsky written masterpiece when it comes to the plot, just a lot of hyper violence with the beautiful imagery and imagination of director Tarsem Singh. However, it often feels like its bare-bones approach is just too hard to truly and completely enjoy.
Future superhero star Henry Cavill gets his biggest break in American cinema as Theseus, a peasant in a small Greek town embedded into the side of a massive cliff. Secretly being taught by Zeus in the form of an old man (John Hurt), he is destined to engage in conflict with King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke), a warlord who has embarked on a god-killing mission to attack Mount Tartarus and free the mythical Titans with the aid of the powerful but missing Epirus Bow. Now just include a comedic sidekick played by Stephen Dorff, who is actually quite good, and Frida Pinto as a love interest able to have premonitions and remove her clothes.
That's really all Vlas and Charley Parlapanides can muster. There is, or seems to be, a debate about the declining belief in the faith of the gods and the rise of human thinking but it is very muddled and confusing. The gods way too obviously act only as deus ex machinas when they aren't whining about doing something. And just like a true Macguffin, the Epirus Bow isn't really used often or as important as it should be. If the Parlapandieses wanted to be ultra basic or post-modern with a Greek tale, then hooray I guess. That doesn't excuse extensively setting up a major supporting villain for Theseus only to deliver a vicious balls shot, literally and figuratively, with/and a showdown that last five seconds.
There's really no reason to see this for character and plot substance. This is strictly all about action and art, which the film does deliver in spades. The action and battle choreography is well-crafted and flows like a true blood ballet. I would have preferred more actual movie blood than its CG counterpart though. The absolute best craftsmanship, however, comes from director Tarsem Singh and the cinematography by Brendan Galvin. Singh has always loved to make moving displays of classical art paintings, whether in his films or his abundant early days in music videos, and he once again displays it here. The framing and tableaux are very striking and immensely pleasurable, able to stand the film further out from being just another Greek mythology movie.
IMMORTALS is bloody good fun and beautiful to look at even with some big shortcomings. I'm more inclined, however, to recommend the Spartacus television series for better and campier displays of sex and violence. Still, that show didn't have some artistic quality and a commanding and dirty performance by Mickey Rourke. Not to mention, this film can actually incorporate green-screening better into the proceedings.
FINAL REVIEW: 3 / 5
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