My Tops of 2013 - June

FAST & FURIOUS 6 was delightful in its action, way too stupid in its plot. Not a worthy sequel to Fast Five.

AFTER EARTH was another disaster for M. Night Shyamalan. However, the slight advantage for all of its problems lie with the Smith family.

EPIC never matched its name. What a shocker.

THE INTERNSHIP had several mouth agape moments: terrible jokes, unlikable Vince Vaughn, rampant Google propaganda, gags too adult for PG-13, a full TWO HOUR RUNNING TIME(!), etc.

ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH is certainly better for wee little kids. Anyone beyond six will find it truly bland.

SAFE HAVEN has a ultra-stupid final twist, not to mention a tiresome pace and a flat story, but it wasn't that bad for myself. A dumb time-killer for couples.

BEAUTIFUL CREATURES, however, was that bad. An insulting magical message to women collides with dreadful leads and a Twilight-cloned script.

NOW YOU SEE ME was a very fun summer film. The direction and camera gave myself headaches but the sheer bliss watching it overcame these faults.

A HAUNTED HOUSE was another pathetic horror spoof but at least Marlon Wayans was trying to make a little film with his buddies.

MAN OF STEEL is my most loathed movie of the year.

QUARTET was not a movie I really liked but it's technically okay. Only suitable for the old fogies.

MAMA was a pretty good horror film and debut for its director. Too bad it falls apart with its Tim Burton-style ending. No more Dark Shadows, please.

DARK SKIES had the right mood for a family "alienation" movie but became too stupid to accept. It also features the absolute worst child actor in recent times.

THE LAST STAND was fun action fare with some nice direction. However, Schwarzenegger is clearly too old for this shit.

BROKEN CITY was a decent noir-esque crime drama but it felt way too familiar and certainly not a "Black List" level script.


Half way there and already the bad has surpassed the great.


Best Films of 2013


1. Pain & Gain

2. Spring Breakers

3. The Croods

4. Side Effects

5. Now You See Me


Worst Films of 2013


1. After Earth

2. The Hangover: Part III

3. Man of Steel

4. The Internship

5. A Good Day to Die Hard

6. To the Wonder

7. Beautiful Creatures

8. A Haunted House