Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Joke Film Awards of 2013

Most Accurate Film Title: Planes (Runner Up: Lone Survivor)

Same Dress, Different Hairstyle: Olympus Has Fallen and White House Down

The Eric Roth Award for Worst Display of Self-Plagiarism: Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge! = The Great Gatsby)

Palm Dog Award: Barklee, John Dies at the End

Best Duel with an Animal: Ravi vs. Tiger, Himmatwala

Most Pitied Animal: The Killer Whales of SeaWorld, Blackfish

Most Hated Animal: Mollusks, Turbo, Epic, Monsters University

Best Use of a Three Hour Running Time: The Wolf of Wall Street

Worst Use of a Three Hour Running Time: Blue Is the Warmest Color

Most Suspenseful Sequence Involving Anti-Communism Beliefs: Dahai's rampage in A Touch of Sin

Most Suspenseful Sequences Involving a 90 Minute Window: Gravity

Most "Suspenseful" Sequence Involving a Wedding Cake: Elias Koteas threatening Jennifer Hudson in Winnie Mandela

Best Reason to Fast-Forward to the End: The "William Tell" finale in The Lone Ranger

Most Incestuous Film: The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (Runner Ups: Oldboy, From Up on Poppy Hill, Saving Mr. Banks)

Actor with the Biggest Open Schedule of the Year: Rob Corddry

The Ryan Reynolds Award for The Biggest Failure to Jump to Stardom: Ryan Reynolds (Runner Up: Nicholas Hoult)

Worst Use of Girl Cosplay: Kristen Bell as Supergirl in Movie 43

Worst Use of Whitewashing: Johnny Depp as Tonto in The Lone Ranger

Worst Use of ADR: Scary Movie 5

Best Product Placement: Pepsi in World War Z

Worst Product Placement: Everything in Man of Steel (Runner Up: Planet B-Boy in Battle of the Year)

Best Use of a Socialite: Paris Hilton and her mansion in The Bling Ring

Worst Use of a Socialite: Kim Kardashian in Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

Best Use of a Backstreet Boys Song: This Is the End

Oddest Use of an All-4-One Song: Despicable Me 2

Oddest Use of the Chicken Dance Song: Himmatwala

Most Boob-tastic Poster: Machete Kills' Sofia Vergara Character Poster

Most Butt-tastic Poster: Machete Kills' Alexa Vega Character Poster

Most Unintentionally Raunchy Poster: The Great Gatsby

Best Raunchy Tagline: "Their American Dream is bigger than yours", Pain & Gain

Worst Raunchy Tagline: "She's going from straight A's, to getting her first F", The To Do List

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