Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
1st Teaser Trailer
Watch It Here
Person of Interest: William Fichtner as the narrator and future Shredder, Megan Fox as wooden April O'Neil, Leonardo, Michelangelo, cameoing Donatello and Raphael, cameoing Will Arnett, and the tower from The Amazing Spider-Man.
Scene Pop: Anything involving the Fichtner.
Briggs Breakdown: 8 Bella-faces, weird snow physics, a smashed humvee, a schizoid subway battle, sure-to-be smart phone product placement, ominous green fluid (no ooze?), and Leonardo doing what he does best, standing around with two swords and trying to make the audience believe he's cool.
Effective?: Not really. I made an early jab at Amazing Spider-Man because this looks exactly like that pathetic film: Main character's father being a scientist and formerly being in league with dangerous folk, NYC in turmoil, Times Square being a central arena, etc.
Check it Out?: I'm at an impasse with this one. I have a big place in my heart for the TMNT since childhood but this looks very, very troubling. The turtles look okay, with Michelangelo already appearing to be spot-on. But the overall ugly commercial look and spastic action is, as put it by Maria Bamford, a flag factory that only manufactures giant red flags. What did you expect from Jonathan Liebesman, the auteur of the putrid Battle: Los Angeles and Wrath of the Titans.
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