I would usually have my shouting picture of Underdogs headlining but since that movie is still on schedule to be buried away in August, I had to find something more appropriate. The image above comes from Area 51, another one of those movies that slipped out of critical grasp and placed on this list. Written and directed by Oren Peli (Paranormal Activity), it's another found footage horror film where a bunch of idiots illegally venture into the infamous military complex to find aliens; apparently these dullards didn't follow the news or get a chance to see Zero Dark Thirty. The film started production way back in 2009, had several reshoots in 2011 and 2013 and is now finally coming out today, albeit in a few theaters. While it finally got its chance to be released, the films below, both new and old, still have the short end of the stick.
Now, let's look over the movies that are stuck in distribution purgatory.
7500
Plot: A flight to Tokyo hits some unknown, supernatural turbulence. Stars Ryan Kwanten, Jaime Chung, Leslie Bibb, and Amy Smart. Directed by Takashi Shimizu (The Ju-On/The Grudge franchise).
Previously Covered in Last Article(s)
Updated Status: Still Unknown. Again, it will most likely be buried away on to home video at some point.
Cooties
Plot: A mysterious virus turns elementary schoolers into vicious creatures and only their teachers can stop the menace. Stars Elijah Wood, Alison Pill, Riann Wilson, and Jack McBrayer.
Previously Covered in Last Article
Current Status: Set for release on September 18, 2015. Lionsgate finally decided to do something with it. A new poster is up but still no trailer has been produced.
Demonic
Plot: Law enforcement try to figure out whether or not an attempted summoning of ghosts caused the death of five people. Stars Maria Bello and Frank Grillo.
Previously Covered in Last Article
Current Status: Still Postponed Indefinitely. Though Dimension Films has no plans for it to come out in the USA just yet, they are moving forward with a wide release in Europe, as evident by an UK trailer released in late April.
Dino Time
Plot: Three kids mess around with a scientist's time machine and find themselves messing around with dinosaurs. Voices include Pamela Adlon, Tara Strong, Yuri Lowenthal, and Jane Lynch. Produced by the Southern Korean powerhouse CJ Entertainment and specifically designed to meet the 3D quota for theater owners.
Previously Covered in Last Article(s)
Updated Status: Trying to capitalize on the expected popularity of Jurassic World, this lost animated flick will finally be released but under even more dubious circumstances: it has been re-named Back to the Jurassic and will be released on DVD and Blu-ray on June 9, 2015.
Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films
Plot: A documentary on the craziness that was The Cannon Group, chiefly the years when Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus were running the show. Directed by Mark Hartley, who has previously covered Australia's exploitation film industry (Not Quite Hollywood) and the American B-movies shot in the Philippines (Machete Maidens Unleashed!).
Previously Covered in Last Article
Current Status: Still Unknown. The UK get to experience it first hand in theaters on June 5th but us Americans still have no chance to see it save for some film festivals. Plus, it's already on home video in France and Germany!
Empires of the Deep
Plot: Positioned as China's Avatar, this fantasy tale tells the love between a man and a mermaid and the war between aquatic nations. Stars Olga Kurylenko.
Previously Covered in Last Article
Current Status: Still Unknown. No new updates have been made available.
Grace of Monaco
Plot: A day in the stressful life of Princess Grace Kelly, as she tries to figure out whether to return to Hollywood or support her husband during a major political battle. Stars Nicole Kidman and Tim Roth. Directed by Olivier Dahan (La Vie en Rose).
Previously Covered in Last Article
Current Status: Missing on topping many Worst of Film 2015 lists this year, the derided biopic will instead be eligible for Worst of TV 2015 lists, as it is set to premiere on Lifetime Network on May 25th. No word on which of the two cuts will be the one airing.
Hillsong - Let Hope Rise
Plot: A documentary/concert film about the Australian megachurch Hillsong and their music label Hillsong United.
Pre-Release Buzz: Originally set to come out on March 27 or April 1 of this year.
Current Status: Now set to come out on September 30.
The Green Inferno
Plot: Clearly borrowing from the despicable template of the cannibal horror craze, a group of environmental activists are captured and ready to be served as dinner to the tribe they wished to protect. Eli Roth's latest film.
Previously Covered in Last Article(s)
Updated Status: Still Postponed Indefinitely.
A Little Chaos
Plot: A non-conforming female garden designer (Kate Winslet) is hired on to work for King Louis XIV. Directed and starring Alan Rickman.
Pre-Release Buzz: Originally set to come out on March 27 of this year.
Current Status: Now set to come out on June 26.
Me Before You
Plot: An adaptation of a popular book by Jojo Moyes, Emilia Clarke stars as an ordinary woman who is hired to take care of a paralyzed sourpuss played by Sam Claflin.
Pre-Release Buzz: Originally set to come out August 21 of this year, it was suddenly removed from schedule and pushed to an unknown date next year.
Current Status: Now set to be widely released on June 3, 2016.
The Moon and the Sun
Plot: The second film on this list to be centered around King Louis XIV, this kids flick has the Sun King looking to snatch a mermaid in order to seek immortality. Yes, that is the real plot of the picture. Pierce Brosnan and Fan Bingbing are the unfortunate ones playing Louis and the mermaid respectively.
Pre-Release Buzz: Originally set to come out on April 10 of this year.
Current Status: Postponed Indefinitely. Paramount cancelled the release three weeks before its premiere and have not given it a new date.
Ratchet & Clank
Plot: An updated remake of the first video game of the popular series, the animated film will show how a "lombax" and a small robot became friends and stopped Chairman Drex from creating his own perfect planet by destroying an entire galaxy. James Arnold Taylor and David Kaye will continue on as the voices of the titled characters. Celebrity voices include Paul Giamatti, John Goodman, Bella Thorne, Rosario Dawson, and Sylvester Stallone. Focus Features is distributing.
Pre-Release Buzz: A teaser trailer was released way back in April 2013. A brief trailer later premiered at E3 2014. It was expected to come out in 2015.
Current Status: Set to be widely released on April 29, 2016.
Rock The Kasbah
Plot: A desperate pop music manager finds the right voice in a lowly Afghan girl and tries to get her on Afghanistan's version of Idol. Directed by Barry Levinson and written by Mitch Glazer. Starring Bruce Willis, Bill Murray, Zooey Deschanel, and Kate Hudson.
Pre-Release Buzz: Original set to come out on April 24 of this year.
Current Status: Was set to be widely released on November 13, 2015, the film has been bumped up to October 23.
Sly Cooper
Plot: Similar to Ratchet & Clank, this also will be a feature film adaptation of the first video game of the series, Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus. A raccoon from a long line of master thieves tries to recover his family's bible of sneaky tricks, with the help of his friends: a gadget-making turtle and a pro-wrestling hippo. The band of thieves' original voice actors will be reprising.
Pre-Release Buzz: A teaser trailer/short movie was released in January 2014. Many fans, including myself, were disappointed and a bit disgusted with the revamped character designs of the lovable trio. Swapping out the cel-shading style of the games is understandable but the new look is pretty glaring.
Current Status: In Production. Expected to come out some time in 2016.
The Wonders
Plot: Four sisters help out their dad in the honey-making business and later try to enter a television contest. Directed by Alice Rohrwacher.
Previously Covered in Last Article
Current Status: Oscilloscope Laboratories picked it up on May 4 and plan to release it later this year.
Of course there are probably more films I still forgot to cover here, so they will have to wait until the next iteration of this series.
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