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Luffy and the Straw Hat Pirates head towards a remote island for a secret buccaneer-only bash where the main attraction is a hidden prized possession of Gold Roger. In order to claim it, they have to partake in an all-out battle royale, including crossing swords against some of their fellow members of the "Worst Generation". However, someone is literally lurking in the depths and awaiting to pounce upon the greedy prey. ONE PIECE: STAMPEDE is sadly a significant step down for the mega popular anime franchise's film division after the preceding entry, the predictable but highly raucous ONE PIECE FILM: GOLD. It has several of the main ingredients necessary to make a great shonen film: superb animation, excellent voice acting, and an epic music score. But the film is completely let down by a very lame script that cripples the smooth sailing of its opening moments. The movie loses all of its steam once the big bad Douglas Bullet unearths himself and, after a brief yet very thrilling scuffle, spends the rest of the running time showing off his literal and figurative plot armor and essentially saying "come at me, bro". It then just becomes a big one-sided brawl of punches, kicks, stomps and superpowers where nothing really matters until a great master plan is drawn up, that being having a bunch of the strongest characters come together to make a weak spot by all punching together. And mind you, a good chunk of this fighting happens during a strict time limit of five minutes that somehow stretches itself to 35 minutes in real time. The movie tries to hide its severe shortcomings by including a lot of fan service, bringing out every ally, villain, or side character they can muster for a cameo so you can point them out and clap in delight. But even the most gullible of otakus will laugh at this weak attempt at appeasement, especially when two noteworthy sword-wielding badasses both come in, perform two slash attacks, and then spirit themselves away from the proceedings. There's also zilch in the character development department save for Usopp but even that is just microwaved scraps from past material that fans know and love by heart. I gave this film two tries in the theater to wow me in any way; I originally set out on this ordeal chiefly to watch both the sub and dub versions but it became more important once the first viewing left me and the audience less than enthused. While my appreciation did increase for the technical aspects of the film the second time around, the true meat of it remained bitter. Similar to the poor film entries of Pokémon and DragonBall Z, you might be able to stomach ONE PIECE: STAMPEDE and have glimmers of amusement but there are far better options available to watch. And to those who might be wondering, yes, I have come around on Colleen Clinkenbeard's portrayal of Luffy but it is still hard to top Mayumi Tanaka.
FINAL REVIEW: 2 / 5
Stop me if you seen this before: an expert assassin (Will Smith) working for the shadowy parts of the US government wants to retire after one last job only to end up on the run because some suited bad guys believe he knows too much. Along the way he ropes in a pretty looking woman (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and calls up a goofy old comrade (Benedict Wong) for some help. Oh, you did see that plot before. Okay, well but here's where GEMINI MAN really snatches the rug out from under you: the top hired killer sent after the golden gunman ends up being a clone of him! You have seen that too? And you can easily predict out all of the film's future plot points and other "groundbreaking" twists it has in store? Well, the real question now is why did these Hollywood filmmakers waste so much time, money and resources on such a painfully trite action flick?
GEMINI MAN never gets off the blocks and become a truly satisfying experience, especially when viewed in the way it was intended by its so-called visionary director. Ang Lee continues to smear his good name by adding fuel to his fiery passion for 3D filmmaking and high frame rate. Both add zilch to the blah pic besides making you endlessly wish you were watching something better. Sure, there are a few fine visual wows like a minigun slaughtering up a convenience store or a man slo-mo walking through fire but those literally come at the very end of the film. The rest of 120 frames per second enhanced scenes are either taxing displays of mundanity and trivial dialogue or action sequences that are too frenetic to behold and severely lack gravitas. The hand-to-hand fights are really when it all falls apart; the supposed film technology of the future turns CQC into a glorified slap fight. Will Smith and the rest of the cast try to make do with what they got but they can't elevate the paint-by-numbers script. Additionally, the whole brouhaha with the de-aging of Smith ends up for naught. He's just not convincing playing a 23-year-old version of his main character, often acting more like a 15-year-old teen that is ready to pee his pants at a moment's notice, plus you can audibly hear his artificially sweetened and carefully edited voice from the rest of the sound design like a bad dub. GEMINI MAN is so mockable and such a brain dead idea to produce in this manner that it would have been better off as a fake movie within a movie.
FINAL REVIEW: 2 / 5
A shoestring budgeted zombie flick is being shot in a desolate building specifically picked out by the film's tyrannical director. Though the Z-grade filmmaker's harsh demand for perfection and realism does a number on the two newbie actors and four jaded crew members, true terror begins to emerge from the woods when zombies home in on the pitiful production. And as it is famously touted it the actual film's title, the violent proceedings are filmed entirely in one go. ONE CUT OF THE DEAD is a phenomenal delight and helped revive two of my formerly favorite sub-genres back from the dead. I have to be deadly serious when I say that it is absolutely essential that you go into the movie completely blind. Just stop reading this review now if you are at all immediately interested. I like many eager moviegoers have had earmuffs on for more than a year to finally see it after all of the glorious praise and hype it got as a humongous sleeper hit in Japan and it is totally worth the wait. But for those still needing a little nudge, all I will say is that the first half is clearly a well-constructed puzzle made of pathetically engineered parts. The empty scenes of stalling, gaudy auto-white balancing, and fumbling camerawork just to name a few? All intentional. What happens in the film's back half is a total surprise that will knock you off your feet before then locking you into a walloping fun ride. Your mileage may vary however as the film's high concept, ultra cheap budget nature will be a tough pill to swallow for some but trust me when I say that there's a lot of sugar later on to make the medicine go down. Additionally, anybody who has knowledge of the Japanese entertainment industry or have partaken on Japanese schlock genre pics will positively marvel at the film's satirical edges. I was left beaming after seeing ONE CUT OF THE DEAD and was a sliver away from doing something I have never done in my entire life: I wanted to catch the next screening to watch it again. A definitively stupendous horror-comedy and one of (if not the) best films of the year.
FINAL REVIEW: 5 / 5
We are only two days away from the start of the 2019 edition of the Eurovision Song Contest.
Like what I did last year, I wanted to jot down my predictions very close to the event because my opinion would be more set in stone by then. One of the best things about Eurovision is the sheer unpredictability of it all. For instance, if you told me during the national selections that Georgia had a high chance to stand above the others, I would think you were mad.
So here's what I think and believe about this year's entries, grouped together into special categories that seem fitting:
THE FRONT RUNNERS
When The Netherlands dropped "Arcade", it first shocked everyone to the core. Then it made those same people giddy that Amsterdam has a high chance of hosting next year. This is the song that is the one to beat and so far all of its opponents have fallen by the wayside. They only thing that could trip up Duncan Lawrence and his evocatively beautiful song is the staging. Practically everyone is severely disappointed by the low key choice of having him sitting at a piano for three minutes while the lighting and cameras do the work. But the song is just so damn good to fail at this point.
Eurovision fans were ecstatic when their wishes came true: Sergey Lazarev was going to represent Russia again after their first ever non-qualification last year. The man who gave us "You Are The Only One" and the visual feast of a performance?! Hot damn! Then, we got to finally his new song "Scream" and all of the hype quickly dissipated. But they could make up for it with the performance, right?! Nope. Once the rehearsals revealed that Lazarev will be trapped in the leftover "Shady Lady" set and play around with clones on accompanying LED screens, the odds dropped again. It's now looking to snag second or third.
There have been many trends in this year's Eurovision but the one that has annoyed me the most are the "Fuego" clones. Switzerland has the king of them with Luca Hänni's "She Got Me", along with ripping off "Despacito". The plagiarism train continued when we got to take a gander at what Hänni will be wearing, namely the same baggy jock outfit that Israel's Imri wore in 2017. Shockingly, this one has been all the rage with the fan groups much to the chagrin of many harsher voices. Thankfully it has lost some considerable amount of steam in Tel Aviv and will certainly not bring the crown back to the punching bag that is Switzerland.
Rap has never really worked in Eurovision. Italy looks to change the long standing grudge against hip hop with Mahmood and his catchy yet somber song "Soldi". The Big Five member is sure to win the most points with the juries and televoters, as it is the most popular country among the group, but I believe that it will respectively place just outside the top three.
THE SLAYERS
Katerine Duska has greatly pulled Greece up from the depths to give the once fan favorite country a worthy shot at the crown. However, it all boils down to whether or not Duska can pull off her unique vocals and that high note. She has struggled with both while on the road but it seems she has gotten a handle of it in Tel Aviv.
Cyprus so strongly wants to win this year that they just copied and pasted "Fuego". The same writing team, the same beats and drops, the same repetitive chants, etc. "Replay" has grown on me since my initial eye-roll at its music video premiere but I never really believed the hype as others did. The rehearsals seem to confirm my suspicions as there has been a lot criticism at Tamta's vocal ability. Some critics proclaim that she sings exactly like her studio track yet the preview videos from the EBU themselves reveal her struggles to carry a tune. We will have to see on Tuesday when she opens the entire contest as the first hopeful. To all of Cyprus and its fans: pray that she doesn't end up having the same fate as Aisel last year.
I stupidly overhyped Australia last year only to end up with the country/continent having a poor showing at the grand final and being a total flop in the televote. People were already crying foul that their newest representative Kate Miller-Heidke were going to steal Estonia's last year presentation but they something up their sleeve for Tel Aviv. It seems the classically trained pop-opera singer will be singing "Zero Gravity" while standing on a very bendy bar in order to simulate the literal translation of the song's title. We now just have to wait and see if the televote will propel the song into the upper echelon of the final results.
Fan fatigue seems to be set in stone for Sweden right now. The country did extremely well in the jury votes only to drop like a rock in the televote. John Lundvik stormed through Melodifestivalen with the rousing gospel-pop tune "Too Late for Love", nabbing 12 points from all of the jury (the only person to do so in history) and easily won the Swedish televote. Many see this as a possible usurper but Sweden's faltering popularity post-2015 and the noticeable lack of non-white Eurovision winners look to stop his chances.
I've been a big fan of France every since the utterly charming Bilal Hassani first sang "Roi" at the national semi-finals. Most have fobbed him off due to his YouTube celebrity status and his less-than-stellar vocals but I stuck by it when everyone else seemed to forget about it. My devotion seems to be paying off as the country is set to go all out in the staging department.
Azerbaijan pretty much pulled what Cyprus did last year. Chingiz and his song "Truth" had its fans but the radio friendly tune didn't win over a lot of critics. Some even thought that it might have been on the fence of qualification. But everybody shut their trap when the first rehearsal revealed all of the LED, CGI, and actual robots that would be used in the performance. That certainly is the old school Eurovision spirit of Azerbaijan: win with all their money and might.
TOP TEN HOPEFULS
I like many hardcore Eurovision fans fell in love with Iceland this year. The country decided to bring forth Hatari, an anti-capitalist industrial rock band that dresses in full BDSM gear and subtly has a tongue permanently affixed to their cheek. I even though the could be the next Lordi and somehow steal the crown away from the heavy favorites. Alas, I truly believe that many voters and juries will be turned off by the elaborate show in front of them plus be annoyed by the unique vocals and harsh music. Still has a firm chance of being in the top ten just from the presentation alone but it may suffer like AWS did last year.
Miki from Spain has been going strong since clinching the national final and has that "it" factor when it comes to performing at Eurovision. Some however have been dismayed at the chances of "La Venda" when the revamp killed the heavy brass in the song. The committee still see a light at the end though as they have poured a lot of time and money into the staging, giving the viewer a huge facade of apartments and a giant metaphorical puppet. I don't see it as a definite winner but is sure to be liven up the crowd in the second half of the grand final.
Czech Republic has a chance to replicate their all-time best placing last year with another modern pop ditty and its Instagram-inspired staging. "Friend of a Friend" has been ridiculed for some of its lyrics but many have already looked past it thanks to its earwormy nature.
FINAL FILLERS
Serbia is going to easily get into the final simply because the country has always been a huge favorite in the contest plus the added benefit of having its Balkan buddies being in the same semi-final. Nevena Božović is a great singer and I'm glad she has a strong chance to make good from her previous attempt at Eurovision in 2013 as part of the group Moje 3. I just wish I could connect with the song better though. Maybe the performance will do it.
Formerly known as F.Y.R. Macedonia, North Macedonia looks to shake the cobwebs and all of their bad juju off this year. "Proud" is a soaring yet not very original declaration for female empowerment and always had dark horse potential. The rehearsals show that they aren't going to falter like they usually do in the staging department and I frankly like Tamara Todevska's somehow controversial green dress.
Romania was pissed after their first non-qualification last year that they pretty rigged their national final so that the international juries had more say in their selection. The maneuver seems to be working as "On a Sunday" and the dark gothic staging accompanying it is winning fans.
Srbuk of Armenia has survived some disastrous showings at some of the pre-contest concerts to earn and her country a chance at reaching the Grand Final. The rehearsals have been promising and there isn't a lot of bad ass female songs this year.
The biggest praise Norway has been getting with "Spirit in the Sky" is it help bringing the Sami language back to Eurovision. Outside of that, not much else is going for it. The dance pop song is sure to bring party vibes to the audience but other entries have better potential to get the crowd moving plus the trio just don't seem to connect very well each other.
Holy moly, Georgia certainly brought it. Oto Nemsadze was given the golf clap during the lead-up to the contest and everyone pencilled this one in as having no chance in hell to qualify. Then people saw the first rehearsal and all of the dark imagery, fire, and dramatic scope the country is bringing to their blatantly jingoistic "Keep On Going".
My gut is telling me that Belarus will be a shocking qualifier. I can see more voters for its pure teen pop nature than a group of female singers and a deadly serious and droning duo.
Hungary allowed Joci Pápai to return to Eurovision but his ode to his father is being overshadowed by one that is all-around better in quality. Highly likely to be there on Saturday but certainly will not match Pápai's top ten finish in 2017.
I just don't get Malta. They wanted to ride on the still lingering hype train of last year's "Fuego" so they took their most recent X Factor winner, removed her strong ability to belt out a tune and give her the awkward pop ditty "Chameleon". They have a lot to going in their performance with some background special effects but that same strategy didn't save "Taboo" from non-qualification. I think it will pass the semi-final round but fall badly in the grand final.
At one point, Estonia was up there as a top ten hopeful. Unfortunately for them, the visual wow of green screen trickery and clever camera work that helped it win Eesti Laul still hasn't been replicated in Tel Aviv. They have a razor thin chance of qualifying but I can see it crossing the finish line just from the ambition and the production value alone.
Germany looks to falter significantly after their phoenix-like rebirth last year. "Sister" can still win people over with its message of sisterhood but the staging has taken a huge hit and everyone still refuses to get over how the duo S!sters aren't actually sisters.
Israel really doesn't want to win again. They already losing a ton of money hosting the contest and are now losing more because of the greedy handling of the tickets. "Home" is not really wowing anyone beyond Kobi Marimi's vocal range so they can at least have one sigh of relief.
Eurovision is certainly bigger than The United Kingdom at this point, as their selection "Bigger Than Us" is sure to flounder badly at the grand final, possibly earning the dreaded 26th place.
PAINFUL ELIMINATIONS
What happened Albania? I loved this song when it became the first one selected for the contest and got better when the revamp dropped. But the rehearsals have thrown off everyone's predictions as it seems to fallen completely apart due to the staging. The song is there, the message is there, and Jonida Maliqi is always there but the lack of staging looks to deep six their qualification.
I'm crossing my fingers fiercely for Austria to qualify. I adore the song but the lack of pre-contest hype and some stinging criticism about PAENDA's voice for the track was too great. People have started to turn around since the rehearsals but it looks too little, too late.
Portugal wowed many people with the eclectic Conan Osiris and his song "Telemóveis" but the divisive tune has routinely failed to resonate with critics in Tel Aviv.
People were jumping up and down when San Marino was announced to perform last in their semi-final. "Say Na Na Na" is an infectious dance track and many fans already enjoyed the artist Serhat back in the 2016 contest. Unfortunately, the actual performance isn't going to be as great and uplifting as the song's music video.
I actually dig the alternative rock sounding "Fire of Love" from Poland and for its effort of bringing the folk stylings of "white voice" to the general public. But the group Tulia had to go through a lot of drubbing on its way to the contest as many questioned their singing efforts and their usage of a backing track at concerts. Their contest performance looks to dispel all of these concerns and it is quite striking but it remains an uphill battle for the quartet to qualify.
DEAD ON ARRIVAL
Poor Montenegro. When I first checked out the national hopefuls for the country, "Heaven" was my runner-up. I eventually developed a soft spot for the cheesy song and the group D mol when the video of the national-winning performance came out, with the six young hopefuls standing and dancing on a high school approved set of a measure. Then came the music revamp which made the song more modern but at the expense of turning it into a complete mess. Further hampering their chances is the continuing struggles for the group to develop any sense of a harmony. And the less said about the rehearsals and what they have planned, the better.
Croatia sunk their chances of qualification once they saw Roko's leather jacket with angel wings combo. He has a great voice but his costume plus the awful English first half of the song utterly killed him.
Belgium made a very big deal when Eliot was announced as their singer and heavily hyped up the song. When it finally dropped, everyone seemed to have the same criticism: the verses were great but the chorus is sorely lacking. Eliot's live vocals have been very hit-or-miss since then and the flat stage design of two drummers and Eliot donning some kind blue and orange mountain-climbing jacket have many crossing a big red X for "Wake Up".
Latvia chose to have the coffee shop friendly "That Night" as their pick but it is too limp, too etherial to stick with voters.
Everbody raised an eyebrow when 90s house sensation and one-hit wonder Darude was selected to represent Finland. People then looked away when his song with Sebastian Rejman "Look Away" was selected. They had a brief glance back when word of Rejman's jean-pants during the rehearsals came out though.
Ireland had an alright song but the staging of it makes me shake my head viciously. A bad mixture of Latvia 2012 and Czech Republic 2009 with a hint of American Graffiti.
Nobody is running for Lithuania. Don't mind the song but they have no budget for the performance and no visual pop to make you forget about it.
Moldova is more popular by Eurovision fans for bringing the party with their selections. They have done ballads in the past, most notably with Aliona Moon in 2013 with the great "O Mie", but Anna Odobescu's "Stay" instantly fell on deaf ears. The only saving its chances now is the performance as they brought on famed sand artist Kseniya Simonova to create one of stories on the big screen while Odobescu sings. However, save for casual viewer, everyone is very well aware that this was previously done in 2011 by Ukraine, who hired Simonova herself to distract viewers away from a crappy song.
I remember a lot of people raving and moving their heads for Denmark and their song "Love Is Forever". Everyone now seems to have returned to their jaded views of the current world and are routinely panning the lovey-dovey ode to peace. What a waste of a perfectly fine 30 foot chair.
Slovenia has a higher chance of qualifying then the others here, hence why it's towards the bottom, but I frankly have not gotten the song nor the sheer boring staging since the national finals. They really should have went with Raiven and "Kaos".
For those you want the Cliff Notes version, here's what I have as my predictions for qualifying in the two semi-finals.
Semi Final 1:
Australia
Belarus
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Estonia
Georgia
Greece
Hungary
Iceland
Serbia
Potential stealer(s) - Slovenia
Potential non-qualifier - Estonia, Iceland, Hungary
Semi Final 2:
Armenia
Azerbaijan
Malta
The Netherlands
North Macedonia
Norway
Romania
Russia
Sweden
Switzerland
Potential stealer(s) - Albania, Austria, Denmark, Moldova
Potential non-qualifier - Malta, Norway
As a little incentive, here's my top ten favorite songs from this year's Eurovision in alphabetical order:
Albania
Austria
France
Greece
Iceland
Italy
The Netherlands
Portugal
Sweden
Spain
I also asked my non-fan father to listen to the official recap video of all 41 songs and come up with his own top five. Here's what he came up with:
1. Sweden
2. Latvia
3. Denmark
4. Russia
5. The Netherlands
The semi-finals will take place on May 14 and May 16. You will need to stick to Twitter updates or via other countries' streams in order to enjoy them. The same now goes with the Grand Final, as Logo and Viacom decided to cancel the live airing on Saturday May 18.
It was sadly announced yesterday that Mexican luchador Silver King (César Cuauhtémoc González Barrón) had passed away. He collapsed in the middle of a match against Juventud Guerrera and was later pronounced dead from a heart attack. He was 51 years old.
The second son of lucha legend Dr. Wagner, Silver King was more widely known for his tag team work. He allied himself with El Texano as Los Cowboys and also with his real-life brother Dr. Wagner Jr., who is easily considered the greatest all-around luchador today. In Japan, he took over the mantle of Black Tiger from hall-of-famer Eddie Guerrero but only had a lackluster run as the anime villain. He brought the gimmick back with him in Mexico, humorously keeping up the charade of being a Japanese wrestler, and had more success with it, eventually leading to mask vs. mask match against L.A. Park in 2006. Since then he was a consistent presence in the AAA promotion and the indies, often allying or betraying his brother.
Mainstream audiences and non-wrestling fans will best recognize him as the villainous Ramses in the Jack Black comedy vehicle Nacho Libre.
Silver King was the one of the most underrated professional wrestlers in the modern era in my opinion. He had a very hard time escaping out of the immense shadow of his far more popular brother but he always was great in the ring and carried himself as a true professional.
He will sorely be missed.
Sonic The Hedgehog (2019)
Official Trailer
Watch It Here
Person of Interest: Ben Schwartz as the voice of Sonic, Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik, James Marsden as a sheriff in Green Hills (Get It?!), Tika Sumpter as some lady, and Neal McDonough as Major "Nobody Cares" Bennington.
Scene Pop: That first backside shot of Sonic. Dear lord.
Effective?: Oh no, no, no. Not taking the massive thumbs down rating it is receiving into account, this trailer is just terrible all around and deserves to be used as an example on how not to market a film. Firstly, why is it set to Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"? The dark beat of the song absolutely doesn't match up with the poor preschool level humor on display nor heightens any of the other scenes, all of which look so poorly crafted that it makes the movie look like an Asylum joint. Then you have the awful decision to show Sonic in all of his disturbing glory up front. His body is so badly misshapen, the human teeth is just plain weird, and the face looks dreadful when he's not doing the famed Sonic tude stare. Oh, and who can forget the pitiful trailer stinger, which straight up spoils the film's ending and reassures fans that Dr. Robotnik will be bald and eventually head into Sonic's world to reek future havoc. And who the hell came up with the idea of Sonic's fur being electrified and the golden rings now being teleportation devices?
Check it Out?: A definite no. Even the diehard fans that have been a persistent online scourge will not venture out to see it. However, I will see it due to my love for bad movies and my personal history with the video game character. I used to be a very big Sonic fan back when I was a kid and I still have an affinity for the animated shows and the Archie comic book run. But man, this will be a tough sit. Seriously, who the hell came up with the idea of Sonic's fur being electrified and the golden rings being able to make portals?
After suffering a catastrophic defeat at the hands of Thanos that has left half of all living things to turn to dust, the remaining Avengers team up with a new space superhero in order to find a way to reverse the organic cleansing and ultimately defeat the genocide king. The plot obviously goes beyond this simple description but any more talk of the story will rob the juicy surprises it has in store for the long-time Marvel viewer. As for the movie as a whole, AVENGERS: ENDGAME is a great series finale to the integral component of the MCU, i.e. the original core members of the Avengers, but there in lies its central issue. I'm not using television terminology by mistake; ENDGAME feels more in line with as a final season or a miniseries than it does as a slam-bang, concluding blockbuster. RETURN OF THE JEDI and RETURN OF THE KING it is not. The majority of the pic is relegated to dialogue, Marvel witty or otherwise, and scenes of bonding that nicely put a bow on hidden nuggets throughout all of the Marvel movies. These substantial moments do help make the three hour running time flow very fast but at the expense of pure action excitement that is heavily expected with a final chapter. The brief melee bouts sprinkled throughout do not generate much thrills so the audience will still have to patiently wait until the finale. But boy howdy, what a conclusion the Russos have in store. It is near boundless in its goosebump-inducing action theatrics and purely acts like a real comic book event. Everything that follows afterwords will be forming up some tears in your eyes, save for the very last scene which is a head-scratching decision and a total mood killer. Most of the criticisms I levied at the movie are things that fans can forgive for the most part and/or not be too bent out of shape by. If you can do that, more power to you. However, please agree with me at least that the stupidest elements stuck forever in the fabric of the celluloid are the film's soon-to-be-or-are-now dated references, namely the use of dabbing, the appearance of the video game Fortnite (played on a PS4 no less which brings up a whole can of worms), and some completely unnecessary product placement. AVENGERS: ENDGAME is a fine farewell for some of the heroes that have been with us yet it is hard to feel the true weight of it all when the film treats itself as just another chapter in the MCU. Marvel has more films and even some digital television shows down the pipeline and given some elements in the plot, as well as what normally springs up in superhero comics, anything can happen including negating all of the drama you were affected by in this movie.
FINAL REVIEW: 3 / 5
Pretentious young hip director Toby (Adam Driver) takes a break from filming an insurance commercial in Spain to make a brief stop at the small village where he once shot a student film about Don Quixote. His trip down memory lane eventually leads him to reuniting with his former lead actor Javier (Jonathan Pryce), a shoemaker who went full method and is stuck believing he's the real man from La Mancha. Mistaking him for his squire Sancho Panza, the crazed knight sweeps up Toby into a spirited and surreal adventure. THE MAN WHO KILLED DON QUIXOTE has been highly anticipated by all cinephiles since it finally escaped from over two decades of production hell but sadly Terry Gilliam's passion project ends up being pretty moot. The reconfigured story is ultimately just rehashed leftovers of previous Gilliam films, namely THE FISHER KING and BRAZIL. It really tries to grab your full attention with Gilliam's standard artistic flair and attempts at witty vulgar humor. However, it's very hard to shake off the deja vu of seeing a man hanging out with a disturbed individual he helped create, a mounted knight in modern times, the real world and the dreams of an unstable man mixing together, the evil powers that be always winning and a bitter conclusion. The script also falters pretty significantly in the female department, as the two supporting women are both treated as doormats for corrupt European bosses and are routinely physically and verbally abused. They both also don't have much of a real personality, which is a death sentence for Joana Ribeiro's Angelica since we're supposed to care about her plight and want to root for Toby to literally be a white knight. Yes, the audience absolutely wants to cheer on Toby despite the fact that he's a certified asshat and he fell in love with Angelica back when she was 15 years old. Adam Driver really tries to make this picture work and is quite great when his physical comedy is on display. Plus Pryce of course does wonders handling the jovial nature of Don Quixote and the brief somber moments when Javier returns to the surface. Too bad the script can't measure up with their talents nor can Gilliam who clearly struggles at times behind the camera. I didn't totally dislike my time with this film; most of my anger during the film screening went to some annoying jackasses who laughed at every little thing, from practical objects in the background to non-jokes to even the domestic abuse. A rewatch might bump it up a little later down the line but quite frankly the making of THE MAN WHO KILLED DON QUIXOTE will forever have a bigger impact on film history than the film itself.
FINAL REVIEW: 2 / 5
Today was not a very good day for people who lived and breathed through the 1990s as two notable figures of the decade sadly passed away. It was first announced early this morning that Keith Flint, the leader singer of the electronic group The Prodigy, was found dead due to what's believed to be a suicide. He was 49 years old.
Though they had several hit singles in the UK at the start of the 90s, it took awhile for The Prodigy to find international appeal. Their first big attempt to cross over into the U.S. was being heavily featured on the soundtrack of the future cult classic Hackers, most notably the song "Voodoo People".
However, it was one daring music video that truly made The Prodigy world famous. "Firestarter" was the first single off of their third album Fat of the Land and it immediately struck a cord thanks to its abrasive beats and dark melody. The song was made even more startling thanks to its music video directed by Walter Stern. Set amid an abandoned tunnel and shot entirely in black and white, the video featured Flint sporting a reverse mohawk and dressed up in an American long sleeved t-shirt dancing like a mad man and constantly banging his head in front of the camera. Dubbed instantly by MTV as a "buzz hit", the video received heavy rotation and the group became instant stars across the Atlantic.
Further provocative songs and music videos soon followed. "Breathe" featured Flint facing off against band member Maxim in competing dilapidated apartments. But the group hit the mother load of controversy with their third single "Smack My Bitch Up". A throbbing adrenaline shot to the senses, the nearly instrumental tune (save for a sample from Ultramagnetic MCs that gives the song its name) drew the ire of many critics who deemed the song misogynistic. Its music video added fuel to the fire: Directed by Jonas Åkerlund, the video followed one debaucherous and destructive night entirely from the first person perspective. It ends with the major plot twist that the central character was actually a woman. MTV briefly showed an edited version during his late night shows such as 120 Minutes before giving it a soft ban.
After four years of striking up global controversy, Flint and the band took a long sabbatical starting in 1999. They would reunite back in 2002 and continued making albums and doing extensive tours up to this very day. Though the group never regained the momentum they once had, they did come back into the spotlight for a bit with their 2008 album Invaders Must Die and their intense dedication to their craft and touring has kept their fanbase satiated.
I like many others would not have gotten into The Prodigy were it not for Flint. "Firestarter" did prick up my ears whenever I heard it but it was Flint's intense energy in the song's music video that cemented him as one of the biggest stars of the alternative rock scene.
He will sorely be missed.
I honestly enjoyed this edition of the Oscars. It seemed to move by fairly quickly and the lack of a host made it more livelier. Of course the conclusion was a huge sigh but we'll get to that disappointment in a bit.
13-11 in my predictions. I really blew it. I should have gone with the predictable or at least have some more love for Black Panther.
Not much to say about the red carpet pre-show besides I heart Maria Menounos, Billy Porter and his lovely/bizarre tuxedo bathrobe jacket and detachable giant gown, Glenn Close talking about her 42 pound golden dress and cape, and Ryan Seacrest sadly popping in the last 30 minutes.
Adam Lambert and Queen kicked things off. This the Oscars, right? You sure it's not the Grammys? They were fine but they did the classic rock radio decision of playing "We Will Rock You" and "We Are The Champions" back to back. Maybe if they performed the songs while the director cut to some footage of last year's films, we would have a proper movie awards show.
The opening year-end montage featured such classics as Tag, A Wrinkle In Time, I Feel Pretty, Stan & Ollie and Sicario: Day of the Soldado. Also boo on using Won't You Be My Neighbor? as the wraparound soundtrack considering the massive snub you gave it, Academy.
I was kinda digging the goofy set. Giant obtrusive waves in the foreground and a bunch of galaxy swirls across the backdrop and floor.
Oh look everyone, three talented comedians that should have been the hosts in the first place. Oh but there are all women and the Academy can't really put their trust in them.
Those were some bright ass red envelopes, brighter than the bizarre plastic top thingy Rachel Weisz was wearing.
"God is good, all the time." Great job Regina King.
Dear lord, I got quickly sick of the plugging of the official Oscar online prediction game during the pre-show but was even more annoyed whenever the banner for it popped up during right before the announcement of the nominees for many of the major awards.
Tom Morello?! From Rage Against The Machine and Audioslave to being the presenter for Vice.
My god, the total cringe during the acceptance speech for Best Makeup. You're not helping the case for casting this award to commercials, you three nitwits!
MVP of the night: Melissa McCarthy's bunny hand puppet. Sam Rockwell couldn't handle how funny that was during Best Costume Design.
Alright Ruth E. Carter! Kicking ass, taking names, and making history as the first black winner.
And Black Panther's streak continues by nabbing Best Production Design. The Academy normally hates awarding works of fantasy in the tech categories but not this year it seems. Also, what really good heartfelt speech by Hannah Beachler.
Maybe I've been spoiled by Eurovision and the currently ongoing National Finals but I really detested the number for "I'll Fight". It was cut way short, Jennifer Hudson was often off-key, and it was a forgettable song in general. What a horrible nominee.
Serena Williams really missed the point of the recent remake of A Star Is Born. Bradley Cooper was the main focus, especially towards the second of the film.
Please tell Bohemian Rhapsody doesn't win Best Picture after picking up both sound awards. Seriously, over Roma?
Oh shit, Roma is so not winning Best Picture. The Best Foreign Language Film Curse might be too strong to overcome.
Dear me, Keegan Michael-Key must have had a lot of liquid courage to do that Mary Poppins stunt. Did you see how fast he flew down on those wires?!
OH NO, Best editing for Bohemian Rhapsody! I guess the Academy voters did see that video tweet showing off how bad the editing was in that film.
Of course Ali won. Love his hat though.
You get Laura Dern to come in and you have her kill air time by pushing the long-developed Academy Museum. For shame.
Hell yeah Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse! Sadly, that fifth guy didn't get to talk, which really sucked. ABC needed more time for Kacey Musgraves to come out.
Eh, that dolly shot during the Ballad of Buster Scruggs performance.
People talking about the teaser trailer for The Irishman. You know, that absolutely nothing teaser that was practically pure black screen.
Stop screaming Dana Carvey! Oh fantastic, a Wayne's World routine in 2019 which of course fell flat with the audience. Myers and Carvey didn't even dress up for the part, those lazy middle-aged bums!
So happy for Bao and the win going to two female animated directors.
I just had to go with the depressing one for Best Documentary Short Subject. An absolutely killer opening line for the acceptance speech that will make the montages for years to come. Could have done without the screaming, considering what we just had to sit through, but the adrenaline was pumping too much for those excited filmmakers.
Had absolutely no idea who the fat guy was with Diego Luna when presenting Roma. My mom had to inform me that he's a famous chef. Seriously, what television audience member wanted to watch the Oscars just to see that guy?
Very happy with First Man earning Best Visual Effects. Very understated and not bombastic and laughable like in the standard Hollywood blockbusters.
Wow, what an intro for "Shallow". And holy shit, what a phenomenal performance, all done in one shot. Congrats Oscar cameraman and director.
I freaking knew it. Don't go with thrillers for Best Live Action Short.
Great, an Anti-Muslim guy (who I just learned also co-wrote the legendarily awful Deadfall) and Peter freakin' Farrelly get an Oscar over Schrader. And oh goody, Farrelly is going crazy again, trying to talk even more after having the mic cut.
Loved Samuel L. Jackson being the hype man for Lee. That big yelp and hug made it even better.
Very rambling but Spike Lee's speech had a good message and was long deserved.
Very glad with the score, though I've lately really fallen for If Beale Street Could Talk. Too obvious with song.
Stanley Donen got Farina'd during In Memoriam but that was to be expected. But to snub out Dick Miller, R. Lee Ermey, Carol Channing, Sondra Locke, Aretha Franklin, and John Mahoney? What the hell? Also, shout out to We Hate Movies who called the shot that Verne Troyer was definitely going to be left out.
Barbra for BlacKkKlansman?! Oh, it's because of some twitter exchange that I never knew about.
Happy for Rami Malek snatching up Best Actor but dear lord, the producers should have picked a different clip. Showing off that he lip-synched didn't help the case of him winning tonight.
Did they have Senator John Lewis out to present for Selma back in 2015? Because him coming out to present for Green Book really sucks despite what he had to say about the film.
I told you, told you, told you. Always bet on Colman. Her overjoyed and jumbled acceptance speech was absolutely delightful. If it wasn't for her, The Favourite was almost shut out.
It looked like Guillermo del Toro wanted to run away with Alfonso Cuarón's Best Director Oscar.
Ah fuck. Really, Green Book for Best Picture? Driving Ms. Daisy winning the same award was a smear to the Oscars and now thirty years later a redux of it wins the top prize. Oh great, even more Farrelly, who immediately pushes how it was all thanks to Viggo.
I did perk back up a bit with Julia Roberts snarky send-off.
A fun show but oh boy the think pieces that will be coming for the next couple of weeks.
As always, these are my predictions to win, not who or what movie I wish would win.
Best Picture: Roma
Best Actor: Rami Malek - Bohemian Rhapsody
Best Actress: Olivia Colman - The Favourite
Best Supporting Actor: Sam Elliott - A Star Is Born
Best Supporting Actress: Regina King - If Beale Street Could Talk
Best Director: Alfonso Cuarón - Roma
Best Original Screenplay: Paul Schrader - First Reformed
Best Adapted Screenplay: Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott & Spike Lee - BlacKkKlansman
Best Animated Film: Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse
Best Foreign Film: Roma
Best Documentary Film: Minding The Gap
Best Documentary (Short Subject): End Game
Best Animated Short Film: Bao
Best Live Action Short Film: Mother
Best Original Score: Ludwig Göransson - Black Panther
Best Original Song: "Shallow" - A Star Is Born
Best Cinematography: Alfonso Cuarón - Roma
Best Film Editing: Barry Alexander Brown - BlacKkKlansman
Best Production Design: Fiona Crombie and Alice Felton - The Favourite
Best Costume Design: Sandy Powell - The Favourite
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Greg Cannom, Kate Biscoe and Patricia Dehaney - Vice
Best Sound Editing: Sergio Díaz and Skip Lievsay - Roma
Best Sound Mixing: Skip Lievsay, Craig Henighan and José Antonio Garcia - Roma
Best Visual Effects: First Man
Oscar season has been one wild ride this year. From all of the controversies to the lack of a true front runner, all I can say is that tomorrow's ceremony is one to watch for film fans. Especially with no Jimmy Kimmel!
There's a big part of me that is screaming that Roma will just win Best Foreign Language Film and not Best Picture. I truly can see that happening but I frankly have no real alternative for Best Picture. A Star Is Born fizzled out, Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody have drawn ire, Vice is DOA, The Favourite is too strange, and the snobs in the Academy don't have the balls to give it to Black Panther. I would love it if BlacKkKlansman won though it is a long shot compared to Roma's easy layup.
Close has a chance but Colman has been dominating the awards season.
It just has to go to Elliott. Ali and Rockwell both already have one, Driver is too young and weird for the Academy, and Grant unfortunately has spurted out.
My picks for the screenplay awards boil down to the Academy giving it to Paul Schrader and Spike Lee after all of the snubs and cold shoulders they already have bequeathed to them.
So help me if Incredibles 2 wins Best Animated Feature. Pixar should be content with their easy win in Best Animated Short.
If Cold War or Shoplifters snatches up Best Foreign Language Film, the chances for Roma winning Best Picture will skyrocket.
Free Solo was my first pick for Best Documentary Feature but considering the Academy's snub of another certain audience favorite from last year, I will have to go for the one that's more grounded in reality and would have been praised heavily if the late film critic Roger Ebert was still alive.
Four of the five nominees for Best Live Action Short featured children in peril or dead. I went with the one that's being hailed for its acting and technical prowess as a staged one-shot thriller. On the other hand, thrillers don't do well in this category.
See you on Monday with my reactions to the awards and the ceremony itself.
During a trip to the hospital, a seemingly nameless male teen discovers the diary of his classmate Sakura, who promptly tells him that she's secretly dying of pancreatic cancer. Spurn by her lively spirit and sudden desire to go through her bucket list, the two begin to hang out and develop a bond that can't be simply given an ordinary label such as "friend" or "boyfriend/girlfriend". I WANT TO EAT YOUR PANCREAS immediately grabs you with its killer title and proceeds to bequeath a generous romantic tearjerker that checks all of the boxes in an anime slice-of-life melodrama. You're never really going to be very surprised with what it has to offer in terms of plot; you'll be twirling your thumbs in anticipation and/or exasperation for the tomboy best friend, the noise-canceling train, and the big breakdown in the rain scene to come out and play with your heartstrings. Even the so-called big twist it offers up is pretty damn predictable if you were paying close attention and noticed it among the other Chekov's guns that are all laying around. It may be an unsurprising affair and also reuses the trope of the manic pixie dream girl in this day and age but the movie still delightfully delivers the requisite feels to get you emotionally involved. It truly excels whenever the intimacy becomes almost too much for the main duo to bear or when the film lays out its main themes of humanity and the metaphysical. The animation complements the simple story but those seeking some visual wows will often be disappointed by the straightforward and unrestrained quality, even during a concluding episode of surreality. The only times the animation becomes really questionable however are the few instances where the CGI rigging and movement of the characters look highly cumbersome. Additionally, whoever thought of giving the opening credits the exact same treatment and design as an ordinary television anime opening should have been fired. The voice cast is all around good with Mahiro Takasugi being the film's standout. He's able to put some character and warmth behind the deliberate monotone of the male lead. I WANT TO EAT YOUR PANCREAS may be too familiar but that doesn't stop its gut punches from being effective blows to your heart and soul. But beware: the filmmakers must be acolytes of Peter Jackson because this film has multiple endings, including having a stinger that fades to black and then immediately comes back with another stinger.
FINAL REVIEW: 3 / 5
Let's get to the big one that riled me up the most: What the hell happened in Best Documentary?! I couldn't believe that Won't You Be My Neighbor? was not nominated. Also out was the sleeper hit Three Identical Strangers. In their stead is: Hale County This Morning, This Evening, an unknown documentary I never heard about because I like everyone didn't pay attention to the majority of last year's Sundance lineup; Of Fathers and Sons, which I don't really mind too much; and the commercially successful but critically shrugged RBG. I get it, we all love Ruth Bader Ginsburg and all but it should have been left off. That goes double for somehow getting a nom for Best Song.
Well, Netflix finally did it. They got their first Best Picture nomination with Roma. Also congrats to Ryan Coogler and Marvel for keeping the hype train up for Black Panther and earning a nom in the biggest category of the season.
Not so keen on the Best Pic love for Bohemian Rhapsody, Green Book, and Vice. I have only seen one of the three (that would be Bohemian Rhapsody) but they all seem to fit the same build of an okay movie that is getting way too much love than it really deserves outside of the acting field.
God it would really, really suck if Spike Lee had to see another banal crowdpleaser about racial relations win Best Picture.
Paweł Pawlikowski getting the extra special foreigner slot in Best Director was a total shock.
Seriously, Adam McKay over Bradley Cooper? At least Peter Farrelly didn't get in.
I just knew Ryan Gosling would be left off Best Actor but no Ethan Hawke? I had Willem Dafoe to be the sacrificial lamb for either Hawke or John David Washington but he was able to pull it off for Oscar voters.
Best Actress was totally obvious to predict but what a showdown come Oscar night.
Another big shocker: Marina de Tavira getting a Best Supporting Actress nom for her work as the matriarch in Roma. I enjoyed her in that great movie but not just quite enough but hey who cares about some online critic when your name is now etched in Oscar history.
Paul Schrader finally received his very first Best Original Screenplay nom, despite his huge history of acclaimed films and scripts.
No Burning in Best Foreign Language Film. Wow. I predicted the other four but not that snub. Was it too long and too impenetrable for the Oscar folks? In its stead is Never Look Away from Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, who already has an Oscar in this very category with The Lives of Others and who has not made a film since the disaster that was The Tourist.
I'm overjoyed that Mirai got in for Best Animated Film and that the Oscar voters weren't too snobby to exclude Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse. I now have to pray every day and night that the Disney publicity machine doesn't let either of its two disappointing efforts last year steal the golden man away from Mamoru Hosoda, Lord & Miller, or Wes Anderson.
Bao needs to win. Period. (No, I'm not also talking about that brilliantly titled Short Subject Documentary nom)
Kendrick Lamar, SZA, Lady Gaga and Mark Ronson. All are now Academy Award nominated artists thanks to the efforts for Best Original Song. It seems the Academy really does want to let an actual pop song win this year!
Man, those Oscar voters must have really loved the weird anime-looking characters of Ready Player One in order to give it a nom for Best Visual Effects.
First Man really got screwed. No to Gosling. No to Claire Foy. No to Justin Hurwitz. No to Tom Cross. No to Linus Sandgren. No to Damien Chazelle. Just noms in the two sound categories and one for Best Production Design. It seems the backlash to La La Land is strong within the Academy.
Other major snubs: Emily Blunt, Michael B. Jordan, Margot Robbie, Lucas Hedges, Timothée Chalamet, Elizabeth Debicki, Eighth Grade, Leave No Trace and Crazy Rich Asians.
That's all I can muster right now. Tune in next month for my predictions which I will obviously fail at.
Oh, and if you're somehow wondering about my reactions to last night's Razzies noms, don't hold your breath. Those losers did exactly what I loathe about them.
6 months after the devastation of Metropolis by Doomsday and the death of Superman in well THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN, four individual superheroes each calling themselves the real or the new Supes seek to take up the throne. The latest of the DC Animated Movie Universe, REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN is given a special one-night-only release across America as part of a Fathom Events double bill screening with the previous film. And quite frankly, that's pretty much the best way to watch and enjoy this film, with it being seen immediately after THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN or, fingers cross, when a possible stitched together cut a la THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS comes to video later down the line. Similar to the same criticism levied against the Marvel films, the movie doesn't help new viewers ease in or even truly understand what is going on. Average Joe and Jane will not be "blown away" by the reveal of who Cyborg Superman or The Eradicator really are, because they never really set it up well or lay even a quick "previously on" montage, and they especially will be scratching their heads when a certain big heavyweight villain from one of the first films of the DC Animated Movie Universe pops up as the true evil mastermind. The story is geninuely fine, more so if you have fond memories of the comic book event it's adapting, but as often with the other DCAMU movies it just feels like television fare blown up to feature length. I was dismayed at the lack of characterization for John Henry Irons but the film does kind of make up for it with its heavy focus on Superboy, his dysfunctional business/familial relationship with Lex Luthor, and his struggles to man up against the other Supermen. That's good and all but great Caesar's ghost, screenwriters Tim Sheridan and Jim Krieg practically ruin the picture with their hilariously awful way to remove the Justice League from the proceedings; Batman, the so-called greatest detective of all time, and The Flash, the fastest man alive, are both unable to look up and see a very dangerous thing crashing above their heads. And boy howdy, try not to chuckle once the President steps into the crossfire between superheroes and supervillians. The voice acting is serviceable all around but I'm still not hot on Rebecca Romijn as Lois Lane. Patrick Fabian, who plays Cyborg Superman, at least gets to flex his muscles and gnash away on some delicious meat towards the end. The animation is the same standard, drab, low budget look as previous DCAMU movies with little to no pizzazz save for the stupid necklace that Lois is supposed to be wearing. Seriously, the animators couldn't draw a simple line to connect the pendants? Whether its some still linger 90s nostalgia in your heart or your love for the animation side of DC Comics, REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN is a fun enough watch. Just try not to set it up as anything truly earthshaking; after all, the rebirth of a certain someone doesn't have much impact when it was just done in live action form two years ago.
FINAL REVIEW: 3 / 5
These are all of the movies I have watched throughout last year and were qualified to be judged for my awards.
If I didn't watch a film at all or in its entirety, it is disqualified and ineligible. There were a ton of movies that I couldn't get access to and/or make the time for. A few examples of films I wanted to see but couldn't before the mandated deadline were The Favourite, If Beale Street Could Talk, Leave No Trace, Eighth Grade, Burning, You Were Never Really There, First Reformed, Blindspotting, Paddington 2, Tully, The Endless, Support The Girls, To All The Boys I Loved Before, Hearts Beat Loud, Green Book and Bird Box.
Action Point
Annihilation
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Avengers: Infinity War
Bees Make Honey
Big Fish and Begonia
Black Panther
BlacKkKlansman
Bohemian Rhapsody
Borg vs. McEnroe
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
China Salesman
Crazy Rich Asians
Creed II
Day of the Dead: Bloodline
Deadpool 2
The Death Of Stalin
Death Wish
Early Man
Filmworker
Fireworks
First Man
Game Night
Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween
Gotti
The Grinch
Halloween
The Happytime Murders
Hereditary
Holmes & Watson
The Hurricane Heist
Incredibles 2
Isle Of Dogs
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
Let The Corpses Tan
Lu Over The Wall
Making Fun: The Story of Funko
Mandy
Mary and the Witch’s Flower
Mazinger Z: Infinity
McQueen
The Meg
MFKZ
Mirai
My Hero Academia: Two Heroes
My Uncle John is a Zombie!
Never-Ending Man: Hayao Miyazaki
The Night Is Short, Walk On Girl
Padmaavat
Pokémon the Movie: The Power of Us
The Predator
Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich
A Quiet Place
Ralph Breaks The Internet
Rampage
Ready Player One
Revenge
The Rider
Roma
Samson
Sheep & Wolves
Sicario: Day of the Soldado
Solo: A Star Wars Story
Sorry To Bother You
Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse
A Star Is Born
Summer of 84
Suspiria
Thoroughbreds
Upgrade
Venom
Whitney
Widows
Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
Overall Count: 74 Films
Best Film Experience of the Year: A Star Is Born (White trash lady who sat a seat away from me, would not stop casually talking out loud during the opening scenes until I had to vulgarly tell her to keep quiet, only to then loudly smack her gum during the many quietly emotional scenes in the last third.)
2nd Best Film Experience of the Year: Action Point (White trash douche who during "The Twenty/First Look" segment watched an old Achmed The Dead Terrorist routine on his phone at high volume and put his bare dirty feet on the seat in front of him.)
3rd Best Film Experience of the Year: Mandy (A dumb kid who missed the entire point of the movie and declared "Hail Satan!" when the film cut to black.)
Best Film Title of the Year: I Want To Eat Your Pancreas
Worst Film Title of the Year: 6 Balloons
The Greatest Film Title of All Time (That Happens To Be Released Last Year): The Wife
Most Accurate Film Title: Borg vs. McEnroe (Runner-Up: The Death Of Stalin)
Same Dress, Different Hairstyle: RBG and On The Basis Of Sex
The Kathryn Morris Award for "What's The Deal With This Person?": Carrie Coon in Widows
The Enough Already Award for the Most Egregious Overuse of Something in Movies: Non-remake movies that share the exact same name as a previously known film (Life Itself, Truth Or Dare, Ravenous, The Day After, Beautiful Boy etc.)
2nd Place of the Enough Already Award: Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" used as a concluding song
Best Dog: Olivia in Game Night and Widows (Runner-Up: Bradley Cooper's real-life dog in A Star Is Born)
Best Cat: Tib in Mary and the Witch's Flower
Best Pig: Hognob in Early Man
Worst Alligator: The mutant one in Annihilation
Worst Bear: The screaming mutant one in Annihilation
Best Kill: The shocking decapitation in Hereditary
Worst Kill: Sterling K. Brown's murder(?)/suicide(?) in The Predator
Best Reason to Fast-Forward to the End: Live Aid in Bohemian Rhapsody
Most Incestuous Film: The Happytime Murders
Actor with the Biggest Open Schedule of the Year: Brian Tyree Henry
The Jai Courtney Award for The Biggest Failure to Jump to Stardom: Alden Ehrenreich
The Lorraine Bracco Award for The Biggest Failure to Jump to Stardom: Hera Hilmar
Best Cameos in an Action Movie: Brigitte Nielsen and Milo Ventimiglia in Creed II
Best Cameo in a Superhero Movie: Ryan Reynolds in Deadpool 2
2nd Best Cameo in a Superhero Movie: Godzilla in My Hero Academia: Two Heroes
Worst Cameos in an Action Movie: Sway and the other radio hosts in Death Wish
Best Use of Subtitles: Suspiria
Worst Use of CGI: The animals and warriors in Padmaavat
Best Food: Tater tots in Venom
2nd Best Food: Vanillite-shaped ice cream cones in Pokémon the Movie: The Power of Us
3rd Best Food: Cheddar Goblin Mac 'n Cheese in Mandy
Worst Food: Rotten chicken in Venom
2nd Worst Food: Raw onions in Holmes & Watson
Best Beer: Schlitz in Action Point
Best Wine: Imitation Denki Bran in The Night Is Short, Walk On Girl
Best Product Placement: Monopoly in A Quiet Place
Worst Product Placement: Nissan in Mazinger Z: Infinity
Most Butt-tastic Poster: The Miracle Season
Worst Spoiler Poster: Death Wish
Worst Spoiler Trailer: Death Wish
Laziest Poster of All Time: Death Wish
Most WTF Poster: Distorted
The Poster That Just Pissed Me Off So Much For Some Reason: I Feel Pretty
BEST BREAKTHROUGH: Letitia Wright
Honorable Mentions: John David Washington, Winston Duke, Brian Tyree Henry, Yalitza Aparicio, Cynthia Erivo, Hannah John-Kamen, Henry Golding, Millicent Simmonds, Zazie Beetz, Awkwafina, Florian "Big Nasty" Munteanu, Milly Shapiro
BEST ENSEMBLE: Widows
Honorable Mentions: Black Panther, Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, BlacKkKlansman, The Death Of Stalin, Game Night, A Star Is Born, A Quiet Place, Hereditary, Avengers: Infinity War
BEST DIRECTOR: Alfonso Cuarón - Roma
Honorable Mentions: Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey and Rodney Rothman (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse), Spike Lee (BlacKkKlansman), Boots Riley (Sorry To Bother You), John Krasinski (A Quiet Place), Hélène Cattet and Bruno Forzani (Let The Corpses Tan), Coralie Fargeat (Revenge), Morgan Neville (Won't You Be My Neighbor?), Steve McQueen (Widows), Ari Aster (Hereditary), Ryan Coogler (Black Panther), Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born), Armando Iannucci (The Death Of Stalin), Chloé Zhao (The Rider), Leigh Whannell (Upgrade), Sanjay Leela Bhansali (Padmaavat)
BEST SCREENPLAY: Armando Iannucci, David Schneider, Ian Martin and Peter Fellows - The Death Of Stalin
Honorable Mentions: Gillian Flynn and Steve McQueen (Widows), Boots Riley (Sorry To Bother You), Phil Lord and Rodney Rothman (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse), Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty (Can You Ever Forgive Me?), Mark Perez (Game Night), Leigh Whannell (Upgrade), Eric Roth, Bradley Cooper and Will Fetters (A Star Is Born)
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Alfonso Cuarón - Roma
Honorable Mentions: Pawel Pogorzelski (Hereditary), Matthew Libatique (A Star Is Born), Benjamin Loeb (Mandy), Charlotte Bruus Christensen (A Quiet Place), Linus Sandgren (First Man), Robrecht Heyvaert (Revenge), Sean Bobbitt (Widows), Rob Hardy (Annihilation), Lyle Vincent (Thoroughbreds), Manu Dacosse (Let The Corpses Tan), Sudeep Chatterjee (Padmaavat)
BEST EDITING: Bernard Beets - Let The Corpses Tan
Honorable Mentions: Jeff Malmberg and Aaron Wickenden (Won't You Be My Neighbor?), Jay Cassidy (A Star Is Born), Christopher Tellefsen (A Quiet Place), Coralie Fargeat, Bruno Safar and Jérôme Eltabet (Revenge), Jennifer Lame and Lucian Johnston (Hereditary), Joe Walker (Widows), Terel Gibson (Sorry To Bother You), Sam Rice-Edwards (Whitney), Andy Canny (Upgrade), Peter Lambert (The Death Of Stalin), Alfonso Cuarón and Adam Gough (Roma)
BEST SCORE: Jóhann Jóhannsson - Mandy
Honorable Mentions: Daniel Pemberton (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse), Alexandre Desplat (Isle Of Dogs),Ben Salisbury and Geoff Barrow (Annihilation), Hans Zimmer (Widows), Marco Beltrami (A Quiet Place), Kiyoshi Yoshida (Big Fish and Begonia), Tyler Bates (Deadpool 2), Justin Hurwitz (First Man), Takatsugu Muramatsu (Mary and the Witch's Flower)
BEST SONG: "Shallow" by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper - A Star Is Born
Honorable Mentions: "Sunflower" by Post Malone and Swae Lee (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse), "I Will Go To War" by Tessa Thompson (Creed II), "The Big Unknown" by Sade (Widows), "All The Stars" by Kendrick Lamar and SZA (Black Panther), "Ghoomar" by Shreya Ghoshal and Swaroop Khan (Padmaavat), "I'll Never Love Again" by Lady Gaga (A Star Is Born), "Ashes" by Céline Dion (Deadpool 2), "Mirai no Theme" by Tatsuro Yamashita (Mirai), "Spidey-Bells (A Hero's Lament)" by Chris Pine (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse)
BEST PREEXISTING SONG: "Radio Ga Ga (Live Aid)" by Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
Honorable Mentions: "Helplessly Hoping" by Crosby Stills & Nash (Annihilation), "Harvest Moon" by Neil Young (A Quiet Place), "Quando Quando Quando" by Engelbert Humperdinck (Game Night)
BEST OPENING CREDITS: Roma
Honorable Mentions: Upgrade, Deadpool 2, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich, Let The Corpses Tan
BEST ENDING CREDITS: Game Night
Honorable Mentions: Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, Whitney
BEST STINGER: Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse
Honorable Mentions: Deadpool 2, Game Night
BEST POSTER ART: BlacKkKlansman
Honorable Mentions: Overlord, Suspiria, Game Night, Let The Corpses Tan, First Man (Moon Helmet), Creed II (Teaser), Incredibles 2 (Teaser), Isle of Dogs, Deadpool 2 (Teaser), Free Solo, A Simple Favor
BEST TRAILER: A Star Is Born
Honorable Mentions: Hereditary, Won't You Be My Neighbor?, Creed II, Action Point
BEST ACTION FILM: Creed II
Honorable Mentions: Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War, Let The Corpses Tan, The Hurricane Heist
BEST ANIMATED FILM: The Night Is Short, Walk On Girl
Honorable Mentions: Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, Isle Of Dogs, Mary and the Witch's Flower, Mirai, Big Fish & Begonia, Pokémon the Movie: The Power of Us, My Hero Academia: Two Heroes, Early Man
BEST COMEDY FILM: Game Night
Honorable Mentions: Sorry To Bother You, Deadpool 2, The Death Of Stalin, Crazy Rich Asians
BEST DOCUMENTARY FILM: Won't You Be My Neighbor?
Honorable Mentions: Whitney, Filmworker, Never-Ending Man: Hayao Miyazaki, McQueen
BEST HORROR FILM: A Quiet Place
Honorable Mentions: Hereditary, Summer of 84
BEST SCI-FI FILM: Upgrade
Honorable Mentions: Annihilation
BEST GUILTY PLEASURE: Ready Player One
FUTURE CULT AND APPRECIATION
Films that I feel will grow on me beyond my initial expectations and opinions and become the great films that they sought to be.
Annihilation
Mandy
My Hero Academia: Two Heroes
Thoroughbreds
UNDERRATED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED
Actors and actresses that gave great performances in bad films and/or in roles with little material and screen time.
Paul Bettany (Solo: A Star Wars Story)
Sterling K. Brown (Black Panther, The Predator)
Nicolas Cage (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse)
Andrew "Dice" Clay (A Star Is Born)
Carrie Coon (Widows, Avengers: Infinity War)
Bill Duke (Mandy)
Kimiko Glenn (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse)
Omari Hardwick (Sorry To Bother You)
Oscar Isaac (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse)
Lily James (Sorry To Bother You)
Latin Lover (Roma)
John Mulaney (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse)
Liam Neeson (Widows)
Thandie Newton (Solo: A Star Wars Story)
Chris Pine (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse)
Trevante Rhodes (The Predator)
Lily Tomlin (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse)
Alan Tudyk (Ralph Breaks The Internet)
Jacki Weaver (Widows)
