-Moe
There always is the one snobbish person who just has to critique a specific pop culture item all the time that everyone hates to notice, sees, reads, and overhears. For myself, it is the smirking hipster that has to shout out that Alanis Morissette's song "Ironic" isn't accurate. One such person that I gladly didn't turn into, though I still fear and are annoyed by, is the ex-Simpsons fan.
I simply just stopped watching The Simpsons. I didn't cause a ruckus among my friends, I didn't troll the boards, I didn't turn into the Comic Book Guy, I just let it go. I still enjoy watching the old episodes and me and my circle of friends continue to drop quotes all the time ("It's not a comedy"). However, there are times where my personal demons come rising back up, such as my sour opinion of the feature film. But when it comes to the television show, next to the death of Maude Flanders, "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace" is the episode that I loathe the most.
Many people seem to forget that The Simpsons has a rich and entertaining history with Christmas, largely due to always hyped Treehouse of Horrors special. The original pilot, "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire", was a true breakout success that brought a new sense of originality to animated television and was a great somber piece on the winter holiday. Hell, I loved it so much as a kid that I had an official screen-capped picture book of it. Another favorite was "Marge Be Not Proud", the famous Bart-shoplifts episode that was a treat for anyone interested in videogames ("I suggest feather touch"). I always treasured its dramatic elements, especially the scene where Bart's crime is exposed on the towers of television sets. Unfortunately, the writers and creators would bring eternal damnation to us with "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace", an episode that is still heavily debated among fans.
In a way to prevent anybody from getting up early, Marge takes any and all alarm clocks so the Simpsons family can enjoy a Christmas celebration together with their new plastic tree. Bart finds a way around it by drinking numerous glasses of water before waking up with joy and severe stomach pains. Bart heads down to open his treasured present, a remote-controlled fire truck. Already, the viewer can notice the trouble brewing up, and I'm not talking about how this choice of a present doesn't even measure up with Bart's previous desire of a videogame. Bart ends up setting fire to the tree and all of the gifts, buries them in the snowy front yard, and lies that robbers took away their Christmas joy. Right here is where the drop-off in quality and my personal taste begins.
The story continues into the most sorrowful and pathetic excuse of black comedy. I've already discussed some great examples of deriding humor from failure, and even wrote some where I was the victim, but "Miracle" is simply a total failure without any laughter. You just have to question every action the characters take (Why would a kid want a new family car after being robbed on Christmas?) and are baffled that the other Simpsons must be punished for the sins of Bart, a plot convenience that had already by then been a cliche to implement. I have often viewed the episode's script as a prototype to Family Guy, due to the constant very odd non-sequitur gear-shifts in the plot; It transforms into a Preston Struges-wannabe, then a wacky car adventure, then yet another fess-up from Bart, then a stupid spoof on Jeopardy!, before ending with a depressing finale where a single piece of cloth is the only interesting and likable character. The only thing I can say was positive during this descent into madness was Kent Brockman's characterization, but even that was plagiarized from a previous Thanksgiving episode.
And with that, I finally can leave this decrepit episode behind along with the rest of the crap. Now, the attention can go to shows and films with actual entertainment and can bring true Christmas joy.
TOMORROW'S ENTRY: We start the celebration of Nicktoon specials with one that was actually the series finale of a show.
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