- Crow
The above quote can sum up Mystery Science Theater 3000 in a nut shell. Most of the selected films displayed on the show are achingly dull, truly awful movies that will shock or scare you with their ineptitude. But there are a few that are absolutely insane.
Enter Rene Cardona's 1959 Mexican film Santa Claus. The basic plot has Santa Claus getting ready for Christmas. Before he leaves, Santa checks up on several Mexican children. The first one comes from a rich family but has been neglected by his parents. The second one, a girl named Lupita, comes from a poor family and wishes to have a new doll. The last to be looked at are a group of brothers who have been bad and wish to capture Santa. As he delivers presents around the world, he checks up on these children while contending with many problems.
It may seem simple but this Santa story gets far more stranger in the hands and mind of Cardona. Santa Claus doesn't live at the North Pole. He instead lives in a castle flying in space over the North Pole. He has stereotypical children from all around the world do his toymaking instead of elves. His monitoring of Earth children is even more creepy and surreal, as Santa has machines with mouths, a telescope eye, a dream-entering machine, and a listening device that is simply a fan with an ear attached. But it gets even more strange when Santa's archenemy isn't revealed to be Jack Frost but is actually the real Devil himself, Lucifer. That's right, Santa vs. Satan. Satan sends his overacting and hammy demon Pitch to ruin Santa's plans. Of course, Santa has proper back-up since he is best friends with Merlin (!). Oh, and his reindeers are toys and can laugh (!!).
Overall, the film can be enjoyable even though it has a lot of problems. Other than the sheer surreal nature and the re-writes of Santa's myths, the script is filled with many plot holes, such as how Lupita's father searches for jobs during the Christmas night. There's also the very weird shoe-horned mentions of Santa Claus respecting Jesus Christ. The english dub done by K. Gordon Murrary brings another set of problems, such as the awful songs sung by Santa and the children. The limited number of voice actors creates more fears for children as the voice of Santa and Satan are one and the same.
This time, Mike Nelson takes over as host and brings his witty and cynical humor with him. I feel that Mike's manner of comedy works for this film over Joel's. He underscores the bizarre, letting it exist to shock the viewer instead of putting the attention on himself. The crew brings up the usual series of pop-culture nods and names (the Menendez Brothers, Monty Python) while also being as dark as possible ("Santa's laughter mocks the poor."). Their best comedy comes at the beginning, when they heavily mock Santa's way-too-interested reaction to the musical display of his child workers ("Santa's doing the Forbidden Dance!").
As for the skits, they are mixed bag. The opening gag and a visit to the Nelson residence are short in appeal and very forgettable. I do enjoy the two song segments, "Warrior of Christmas" and "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay". In the first song, Mike and the bots are Santa Klaws, a pop-rock Christian band who sing lame Christmas puns and nonsensical lyrics. "Merry Christmas", on the other hand, is a holiday song with political correctness bursting from the seams. The ending skit is also entertaining, where the Satellite of Love crew experience snowfall in space while Dr. Forrester watches Pitch and Santa fight it out.
I don't enjoy this as highly as "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" but "Santa Claus" is still a classic from the show. It was one of the best episodes from the stellar fifth season of the show. Whether you like one or the other, I feel that these two episodes are probably the best gateway entries for many non-fans and new admirers. So, with two days and two entries left, I hope you're getting ready to have the Swayziest Christmas of them all.
TOMORROW'S ENTRY: What better way to celebrate Christmas Eve than by going over my favorite adaptation of A Christmas Carol.
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