2011 was a year for ambitious and daring works. I didn't have as much fun as 2010, but the rampant uses of originality and/or hyper-stylized direction made for some interesting fare, certainly to help many films on the home video market. Whether on DVD, Blu-ray, or streaming, these movies will grow like fine wine.
However, like the dwindling box office revenue and massive absence of movie-going crowds, the year spewed several abominations and misfires. There were plenty of fiascos throughout the year, most notably during the summer. Once again, Hollywood prefered the dollar over a crisp dollar, producing plenty of sequels where nothing was changed or advanced and where hackneyed ideas were re-purposed for the benefit of nobody. While there were some shockingly awful outputs from the independent circuit, it was largely all about the studios and their pathetic attempts at entertainment.
These are the films I have deemed the worst of 2011.
Now comes the usual disclaimer that sadly everyone forgets to remember: This list is of my own opinion, not the general public nor the Internet consensus. If I didn't see the film at all or in its entirety, than it isn't counted. Thus, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star is unable to be counted. Sadly, I did saw the next twenty films.
TOP TEN WORST FILMS
1. Jack and Jill
I expected this film to show up on this list somewhere. However, I could not believe how low this movie achieved and actually went. It is purely rotten beyond its core, with so much offensive "comedy", absolutely horrendous direction by Dennis Dugan, and its insulting use of product placement. Shame on you Adam Sandler, shame on you.
2. The Undefeated
This film almost could have been disqualified and given a zero out of five from myself, since it is basically a two hour television political ad instead of an actual film. Even if you are a Tea Party supporter or a fan of Sarah Palin, this is truly a hard sit, especially with director Stephen Bannon's ADD editing and sharp cuts, its universal use of flat stock footage, and the fact we don't learn anything about Palin beyond her politics.
3. Zookeeper
If the dream girl is shown at the beginning to be a horrible creature, why should anyone want to see this romantic comedy commercially spun to be a family film? The animal voices are all terrible, the humor is migraine-inducing and the only chemistry Kevin James has with anyone is not the talented and beautiful Rosario Dawson, but instead a man in a gorilla suit.
4. Mars Needs Moms
One of the biggest fiascos of the year and something to be inscribed in future textbooks. Its nonsensical script somehow brings insulting gender politics, a "Banksy"-like subplot, tons of boy humor, and bleak drama involving humans being sacrificed. Certainly the worst animated film all year and, sadly for the Tintin films, the final nail for motion-capture animation.
5. Waiting for Forever
The new favorite film for stalkers everywhere. Far more damaging than any of the Twilight films, this movie wastes a great performance by Richard Jenkins to make the case that women should fall for the psychotic pajama-wearing men who have followed them everywhere they lived.
6. Red State
Kevin Smith's disasterpiece. No likable characters, slumming character actors, constant tone shifts, with plenty of exposition dumps to go around. This also has one of the most notorious endings of the year, where you think it's about to go gonzo, only to cut to people explaining what happened instead of showing us.
7. Atlas Shrugged: Part I
Another television-like movie. This glorious failed adaptation of Ayn Rand's most popular novel brought robotic performances, turgid and misguided dialogue, and terrible use of mise en scene. If this was a Sunday night miniseries on NBC, it would still suck but at least it would have been free to see how bad it is.
8. Passion Play
Mitch Glazer's dream project should have been lost somewhere in his subconscious. This movie doesn't work at all, whether it is trying to make me believe that Mickey Rourke can play a trumpet or make Bill Murray look threatening. From the continuity issues of Megan Fox's wings to the laughably bad/stone cold awful ending, the greatest sin this film brought is that it made Christopher Doyle's legendary cinematography look amateurish at best.
9. Battle: Los Angeles
Jingoism I can take, only if it is done properly. Unfortunately, this movie does it offensively bad, along with its never-not-shaking shaking camerawork and brain-dead script. Just play the equally bad video game adaptation to experience what the film was like.
10. The Darkest Hour
I wanted stupid genre fare, only to receive no fare but plenty of helpings of stupid. The 3D was abysmal, especially since there are many nighttime scenes, but the rampant douchebaggery, whiny characters, and non-suspense gave this film no hope to enjoy.
THE NEXT TEN
11. Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World
12. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
13. Priest
14. Beastly
15. Gnomeo and Juliet
16. Scream 4
17. Season of the Witch
18. The Beaver
19. Rubber
20. The Descendants
Next Up: The Best Films of 2011
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