I don't understand why Sony has an intense hatred to have the Smurfs in their natural environment. For two films of a projected trilogy, the only truly enjoyable moments are the scenes set in Smurf Village, populated by the eccentric and eclectic blue-skinned denizens. Well, it seems I will finally get my wish with the third movie, as evident by the outcome of this entry. I just can't wait for the marketing and the beyond horrible subtitle and/or pun that they will give it. Unless of course they want to break the usual child film promotion by daring to have a poster with someone holding three fingers up; funny how they never do that for the first film, as that dream poster can then easily tell you its opinion of you as a consumer.
THE SMURFS 2 is exactly like its predecessor: a crass, mass-marketed, annoying display of "family" entertainment. Also like the first, it's able to scrap by with some good intentions and charm to avoid everlasting wrath. Its cartoonish aesthetic is too juvenile to behold and accept when in a live-action setting, hence why it should just stay as an animated feature save for the gleefully live overacting of Hank Azaria as Gargamel. But we can't have that because Europe now needs to be featured and exploited by the pathetic talents of director Raja Gosnell and the five (!) writers necessary to jot down a lowly script.
The story starts off by featuring Sitcom Plot #34: a surprise birthday party is ruined and suspended when the numbnuts running the show act like absolute jerks to the birthday girl. The girl in question is of course Smurfette, the only notable female introduced in this universe and the butt of many disturbing jokes and theories. She is heavily depressed by her friends' behavior, thinking that it has to do with her not being a real, true blue Smurf but a creation originally devised by Gargamel to wreck their prosperity. This is funny considering that in the first movie, she brings up this fact to Jayma Mays' character and is perfectly fine with it already. Anyway, plot hole aside, she is kidnapped by the goofy wizard, who still resides on Earth as a popular magician in Paris, in order for her to give up the recipe of the magic potion that turned her into a Smurf, as part of a convoluted plot to extract Smurf essence, fuel his magic wand and take over the world. He does this with the Naughties, two grey-skinned creatures he created and mistreats named Vexy and Hackus (pronounced more like Haggis, which would have lead to an easy joke). They aren't given an introduction as to where and when they came, so they just come out like an added character to a Saturday morning cartoon, i.e. a Scrappy. Papa Smurf and his B-team (Clumsy, Grumpy, and Vanity) go off to save her, get help from Neil Patrick Harris and his family, and fart jokes and bad hijinks enuse.
The plot legitimately requires everyone to be stupid. Gargamel tells his entire scheme to his cronies at the beginning, which involves the Naughties to be later used as magic donors against their will forever, and the two trolls blindly accept it. The same goes for Smurfette, who is help captive and abused by the villains yet somehow forgets that she is to be a tool for Gargamel when she is off bonding with her new siblings by trashing shops and nearly killing bystanders with a loose giant Ferris Wheel. Meanwhile, Harris and the other live actors have nothing to add to the proceedings. All of the crafty strategies they come up with are performed and solved solely by the Smurfs, thus making them useless save for one final thing that needs to be destroyed by man hands. You want to know who is more important that these actors coasting on checks? It's a brand new character intentionally added to steal the show. It is not Brendan Gleeson as NPH's crazy step-dad that is brought in to underline the family adoption angle. It also isn't his corn dog mascot puppet that looks like Mr. Hankey and sadly leads to an unbearable farting scene. No, it is the Sony Tablet. This walking product placement holds Gargamel's plan, has a nice easy-to-use display, and is seemingly unbreakable when crashing down a large flight of stairs. Truly, someone that is destined to survive in popularity.
As much as I despise and eye-roll, this dumb film somehow gets me to not hate it as much. Though the "what is a family?" subplot is cloying, it is a nice sentiment to explore and address. It certainly is helped mainly by the behavior and reactions of Papa Smurf, here helmed for the final time by the late great Jonathan Winters. I still don't like George Lopez as Grumpy but the sheer likability of John Oliver's Vanity balances it out. Katy Perry is again fine as Smurfette though she is easily trounced by Christina Ricci as Vexy, who brings more character and depth to her than the animators did. The less said about J.B. Smoove as Hackus, the better. NBH and Mays do their usual routines, not willing to compete with Azaria and Gleeson in the shameless performance games. There's also Jacob Tremblay as Blue, the young son of the main human couple. He is dreadful, talking like English is his second language and blankly ruining every scene he's in.
THE SMURFS 2 is something to tide your kid over on video. There's no real substance warranted to see it in theaters, nor in 3D. You are better off going on a nature walk, having your kids imagine where the Smurfs are hiding. You can also have a family get-together or a picnic. That way, you can deal with more heartwarming relationship issues than in here. Or, better yet, you can just watch the original animated series so you don't have to accept all of piggybacking off of ENCHANTED.
FINAL REVIEW: 2 / 5
No comments:
Post a Comment