We're the Millers - Review

WE'RE THE MILLERS is yet another awful, laugh-free comedy released this year. Throw this body on top of the rest of the others. 2013 has had all of its graves set aside for comedies already filled so it must stink up the open air. Thankfully, it doesn't smell as bad as a desperate sequel, a glorified commercial, a terrible collection of shorts, and anything that besmirch the label of a spoof or a satire. Some might be more kind to it but this is just another travesty for the comedy genre.


As of the time of this writing, my two favorite films of the year excel thanks in large part to their comedic elements. However, they aren't real true blue comedies; they are both crime movies, thus Netflix, Redbox and the few remaining video stores left alive would place them under "Action". Yet, they have both feature the major lasting power of comedy in this era, in that I and others can't stop spreading their quotes into the popular culture. I love to shout out about putting my beef in that taco or the merits of the band Stryper, like the dim-wit sociopaths of PAIN & GAIN. I mock decked out areas by para-phrasing Alien's now famous "Look at my shit!" monologue in SPRING BREAKERS. This same mislabel predicament strikes the great animated film THE CROODS, which is first and fore-most judged by its overall design as an animated film before it can be fitted solely under the comedy label. The only funny live-action comedy film to break from the rotten pack spewed forth this year was THE HEAT, which delivered many laugh-out-loud moments to overcome its weak story. How can that be the one and only redeeming comedy of 2013 so far? Where have all the laughs gone?


Oh, I'm sorry to forgo this WE'RE THE MILLERS review just to lament the state of decay clearly present and ruining the film industry but it is not like the movie is anything special to talk about it. It is the same old song and dance of families not always being blood-related (seen also in the bad SMURFS 2) but with some dick jokes thrown in: Dave (Jason Sudeikis) is a drug dealer who is robbed of his stash and his money by three punks thanks to a punch-worthy teenage doofus (Will Poulter) that lives at his apartment complex. To make good with his boss (Ed Helms), and to get some extra money, he is tasked to be a drug mule by heading down to his Mexican warehouse and bring a smidgen of his supply back across the border. In order to camouflage the misdeed, he hires the doofus, a female runaway (Emma Roberts), and a local stripper (Jennifer Aniston) to pose as a white-bread family. Maybe they will be forced to hang out with an off-duty DEA officer and his quirky clan. Maybe a rival drug kingpin will clash with them. And maybe, Aniston will strip yet not really do anything beyond a PG-13 dance. Late 80's music videos showed more skin and smutty behavior.


The tiresome gags are the usual frat behavior: Lesbian jokes are approved, a overlong and boring incest joke is approved, but anything that is gay is icky and not cool. I had nothing wrong with cast, including the far-too-qualified supporting players, but their few improvisations are too light to warrant even a pity laugh. I will say that I've essentially lied earlier because there is one moment where I did laugh. Before you can call hypocrisy, this laugh follows the CANNONBALL RUN principle, in that it went to a blooper during the ending credits. One surprise rib on a co-star, the last thing seen before the white text on black background, is the only thing to be pleasurable from this film. And that moment could of have been easily excised just to be shopped for the talk show circuit.



FINAL REVIEW: 1 / 5