It is that time once again, for all of the blockbusters and heavily-hyped films to come out to a salivating and desperate public. As said by basically every film glad-hand in existence, this summer looks to be the biggest one yet (Until, of course, next year's offerings). Of course, it could be another failure, like last year's offerings.
This Friday, May 4th, is the one every studio needs to beat as The Avengers finally comes out to America after a highly successful special world release last week. The demand is ever enormous, the reviews have been respectable and gleaming, and it will probably dominate for the next couple of weeks. There are a few lame other releases, such as the expected worst of the year contender LOL, but there is no chance in hell of an upset.
May 11th brings forth Dark Shadows, another Tim Burton-Johnny Depp-Helena Bonham Carter fest that I do think looks funny and interesting from its first trailer. Still, every time we receive a new Burton film, I can never stop thinking about that hilarious CollegeHumor video. The rest are some independent fare, with the only one standing out is Bobcat Goldthwait's latest pitch-black comedy God Bless America.
May 18th is board game time for Battleship, a film everyone fears and mocks due to its Transformers ripped-off visual style. Surprisingly, I have heard some good things about it, mainly thanks to Peter Berg's direction, but it will be the next hard sell for America on the talents of Taylor Kitsch, after the sting of defeat that was John Carter. This date looks to be a battle, considering What to Expect When You're Expecting looks to take away a high percentage of the women audiences, the nauseating The Dictator is to get the suckers for more Saron Baron Cohen antics, and Hysteria, a comedy about the invention of the vibrator no less, looks to grab the art fans and the best reviews.
May 25th is sadly for Men in Black III, a film that will win the top place at the box office and continue to make Will Smith an icon despite his very less than stellar star and career path. I love the guy, but his past long departure from his own work to build up his kids' careers did him no favors. Plus, this is yet another Hollywood sequel that wants us to forgot the bile-inducing second film and just look at Josh Brolin's impression of Tommy Lee Jones. I may have to be Werner Herzog and eat my shoe for liking this but it still will not shake the sight of the cobwebs this franchise retains. Maybe Wes Anderson's newest film Moonrise Kingdom and the latest good concept-bad execution found footage film Chernobyl Diaries will sway me and audiences.
June 1st has Snow White and the Huntsman, the Snow White film America expected to want, especially after the failing performance of Mirror, Mirror. Its Lord of the Rings influence definitely works in its favor, along with great art direction and a very scary Charlize Theron. The film's expected boffo business will not stop the shockingly commissioned but cleverly titled sequel Piranha 3DD or the latest "Look! People are dancing!" flick Battlefield America from grabbing a few millions.
June 8th gives us the maybe-prequel/definitely prequel to Alien, Prometheus. This film looks to be the Inception of the summer; A smart sci-fi film, directed by a master craftsman (Alien director Ridley Scott), but retaining some energy and visual effects to get the mouth-breathers into the theater for some much needed forward thinking. However, the more-money grubbing Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted might be the "surprise" victor, while the numerous independent fare, such as the peculiar, based on an internet meme Safety Not Guaranteed and the latest Robert Pattinson art bomb Bel Ami, will fall by the wayside.
June 15th will be America's Skip Weekend, as the less desirable come out begging for money, fueled only by very heavily-aged movie stars. First, there's Rock of Ages, the next probable example that just because it did well on Broadway, doesn't mean it translates to movie form. From the lame 80's cover songs to Tom Cruise, this looks to be a giant mess. Then, ugh, there's That's My Boy, a film that from its trailer looks to be yet another horrible Adam Sandler film, but maybe even worst. After the major derision from last year's Jack and Jill, including my own humble opinion, and the fact that it is rated R, I don't think, more like pray heavily to the lords above, that this will do as expected.
June 22th is the big Pixar day, as Brave comes to takes its place. This is one of the few I am very hyped for, especially after last year's shocking turn of events with Cars 2. Not only is this going to be important when it comes to Pixar's take on the Disney Princess, but whether Pixar can escape from their past criticisms and the fact that its original female director, Brenda Chapman, was let go during production. There's also Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, which looks to be ho-hum drive in/rental fare, whether from its original trailer to its latest. Also, Woody Allen gets a bigger spotlight after his success with Midnight in Paris with To Rome with Love.
June 29th is redemption time, as G.I. Joe: Retaliation is to be the major contender. I surprisingly enjoyed the first film, a film that I now hold for myself as how not to lead your expectations solely with your inner fanboy feelings and to be more objective instead of living among the Internet forums and comic book shop conversations. Still, the film seems to have won the detractors over, with impressive action sequences and a Cobra Commander who looks more like his original form. Tyler Perry's latest Madea opus Madea's Witness Protection does not look good or will do as well as previous installments, but I will say that I am interested more with Magic Mike and Beasts of the Southern Wild. Magic Mike is the second appearance this week for Channing Tatum and is to return him to his male stripper roots under Steven Soderbergh's vision while Beasts conquered Sundance this year and has been described to be a Miyazaki take of Southern America.
July 6th has The Amazing Spider-Man, a film that I think looks to be good given a few mis-cues. However, recent rumors that Sony isn't happy with it and that there might be another expected reboot to the franchise, which is not something America is always happy with, is definitely killing its buzz. You also have the Katy Perry: Part of Me documentary no one really wants to see and Oliver Stone's Savages, which could be a goofy entertaining drug and violence flick or another U-Turn for him. In limited release is The Queen of Versailles, a better documentary that drew raves at Sundance with its different perspective of the economic turndown.
July 13th is another skip. Ice Age: Continental Drift will obviously be dwindling returns for the franchise (Why can't it be turned into a TV show instead?), while Seth MacFarlane's big movie debut with the talking teddy bear flick Ted will sure to be either an unsung comedy or ample fuel for his many critics.
July 20th is The Dark Knight Rises. It is all about the Batman. Hollywood knows everyone wants to see this, and they shockingly gave it a free open road this weekend. Expect major business and numerous links to The Avengers to see whether Marvel or DC has the Midas Touch.
July 27th is Batman's next weekend of domination. Step Up Revolution will get some teenager love but Neighborhood Watch is certain to receive the SpaceCamp treatment after the major news story of the death of Trayvon Martin took over America's attention earlier this year.
August 3rd will of course be the first day Hollywood finally takes a break before exhausting itself. Still, it is a pretty big bang to call it on, with the releases of The Bourne Legacy and the reboot of Total Recall, the latter being something I might be looking forward to. However, I'm going with Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days to be the "surprise" winner of the weekend.
August 10th is ... yeah not much. I haven't heard anything about The Campaign and Hope Springs is just another obvious "mothers and old people love it!" flick with Meryl Streep trying to get her groove back. That sounds pretty sickening, especially after her role in Mamma Mia!. However, Hope Springs has been given the Eat, Pray, Love spot, which didn't do that film any favors, especially with next week's entrees.
August 17th looks to be another king size seat for The Expendables 2. The first film, which wasn't very good, has been a punching bag for many ever since the film destroyed Scott Pilgrim vs. the World at the box office, though that film had its share of problems despite my adoration for it. The remake of Sparkle will get some of the Whitney Houston bump, while the special attention and release on the 15th for The Odd Life of Timothy Green hopefully will not translate well. I'll be more interested in ParaNorman, a possible worthwhile little animated horror film for kids to join the likes of Coraline.
August 24th looks to feature some bottom feeder films, except for Premium Rush, an action film that thankfully features two of my recent favorite actors, Joseph-Gordon Levitt and Michael Shannon. It sounds like a nice little Die Hard adventure and give more audience cred to both actors.
August 31th is final nail in the coffin for the summer and so far, Hollywood did not give it any favors. Two highly forgettable horror films, The Possession and 7500, are to come out and get whatever they can Labor Day weekend. However, the film Lawless, coming from depression-loving filmmaker John Hillcoat and mega-producer Megan Ellison, looks interesting to behold.
My Top 10 Picks for Summer 2012
1. The Avengers
2. Brave
3. The Dark Knight Rises
4. Prometheus
5. G.I. Joe: Retaliation
6. Beasts of the Southern Wild
7. Snow White and the Huntsman
8. Dark Shadows
9. Total Recall
10. Battleship
Look out for my review of The Avengers later this weekend. I hope your movie experiences will be as good as mine, but probably less cynical.
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