Saturday, October 15, 2016

Horrors of October - Ouija

Ouija (2014)

Devastated by the sudden suicide of her best friend, Lane (Olivia Cooke) thinks the best way to move on from it is for her and her other buddies to use a spirit board. Stupidly believing that they are talking to their beloved Debbie, the gang of five later realize that they are dealing with someone more deadlier. OUIJA is the mutated baby from three of the most hated movie companies today: toy company Hasbro, the Michael Bay-led horror remake machine Platinum Dunes, and the cheap-and-churn modern horror outlet Blumhouse. Despite having the easy ability to spin out a story from a overrated board game, the film apparently went through many production problems, including having half of the film being reshot and the addition and subtraction of major characters. What we have in the end is a misguided, non-scary, defanged PG-13 horror flick that will bore you to tears. All of the characters have pitiful mental capabilities, often stating the obvious or sucking air through their mouth, and are clearly played by TV actors in their mid-20s. Of the lot, Cooke sadly is the worst as she marble-mouths all of her dialogue and doesn't exhibit any real emotion when other people close to her began getting bumped off. Stiles White, a screenwriting nobody who co-wrote the guilty pleasure and laugh riot THE POSSESSION, steps in the director's chair and clearly shows us with his tedious camerawork and blocking that he should continue remaining in the shadows, whipping up more forgettable dreck with his wife. Oh and hey White, how about you cut out the religious Mexican nanny stereotype next time, okay? The only thing pleasing from this dumb film is Lin Shaye, who pops in and steals the pic as a locked up, unstable helping hand. Other than desperate kid viewers, I can't understand why anyone would want to see this true blue "camel", let alone give it 10 times its budget at the box office. I also can't understand why anyone will want to see the upcoming prequel when the entire back story was spelled out and told to you in this tripe.


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