3 Headed Shark Attack (2015)
After spending the holiday running around at several parties and helping out with some trick-or-treating, I ended the night and my month-long horror movie celebration not with a stone cold classic but with something that's better to watch when your're half-asleep. There really is nothing to say about this movie's plot: there is a shark with three heads and it swims around, looking for something to destroy or chomp on. The first film, which had a 2-headed shark, was bad but you could laugh along with it; this sequel unfortunately is just flat-out boring. 70% of the running time is of people swimming or boats hitting the waves. One example of this intense padding is a 10 minute scene where the main cast swim to a far off boat one by one instead of just having one swim over and then drive it to the shoreline to pick everyone up. The acting is all-around bad, with professional wrestler Rob Van Dam as a generic muscleman and some goon who won't stop smiling at all being the lowest of the low. The carnivorous animal could have been truly effective if not for its terrible continuity in scenes or a later plot point where we found out that it is attracted to garbage because of evil pollution. The sole redeeming part of the film is right in the beginning, where director Christopher Ray crafts a reverse JAWS: a skinny-dipping dude swims out to a dingy in order to impress a girl only to see that everybody on the shore is devoured by the creature. It's not an excellently produced prologue but it was the only fun I had with this dud.
FINAL REVIEW: 1 / 5
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