Vampire In Brooklyn (1995)
A Caribbean vampire with a luscious mullet (Eddie Murphy) travels to Brooklyn to woo a police detective (Angela Bassett) in order to continue the bloodsucking bloodline. VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN could very well be Wes Craven's worst film, failing both as a strangely serious horror flick and a cookie-cutter comedy movie suited for Murphy's questionable taste in humor. Murphy is painfully dead set on showing off a dramatic side to his gaudy villain throughout the entire pic, never registering a single laugh from the short amount of woeful one-liners he delivers, all of whom even a first grader could come up with. When he does switch gears into comedy, he dons two unfunny makeup jobs (as a huckster preacher and an Italian goon) that makes you wish you were watching COMING TO AMERICA instead, hell maybe even his later fat-suit movies. Bassett, a top favorite of mine, is completely miscast, forced to play a ditzy tool that keeps being tossed around between Murphy's Maximilian and her police partner Justice (yes, that is his name). The entire landscape of Brooklyn show here is a post-apocalyptic ghetto filled with dank squalor and women who are either man-haters or nymphomaniacs. Not even John Witherspoon's ad-libs can save you from the misery and sheer boredom this movie hands you. Also, how can I take this seriously at all when it is loaded with overbearing narration designed to save the film and an opening scene where a toy tanker boat rams into a poorly made model set? BLACULA, this is not.
FINAL REVIEW: 1 / 5
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