Thursday, December 17, 2015

The Walking Deceased - Review

Director Scott Dow and writer/actor Tim Ogletree somehow were able to make a far, far worse spoof flick than Friedberg and Seltzer in a given year. THE WALKING DECEASED is a horrendously unfunny mashup of current and past zombie fare, crafting such awful parodies that you will either be utterly confused by their inclusion (does anyone really remember WARM BODIES?) or have a hard time figuring them out at all. It took me a half hour into this no budget travesty to realize that four of the main players were take-offs of the main set in ZOMBIELAND; how could I've know when they are represented as a bald middle-aged cowboy hat-wearing biker, a tall man-child with an effeminate lisp, a bitchy latina stereotype, and a pigtailed deaf girl who speaks in hovering Messenger subtitles? When Ogletree doesn't have the story set squarely on his annoying character's plight, he's relishing in utter misogyny and offensive humor. This piece of crap, both the film and the idiot who wrote it, thought it would be wise to have a Holocaust joke, a rape joke, Oedipal jokes, and a small scene where Ogletree masturbates right next to a 14-year-old girl's head and touches her hair. I would have been even more annoyed and upset by these groaners if I could have heard them clearly because the movie has shit audio throughout it. Further helping its case as an unwatchable mess is Dow's nonsensical direction, the woeful editing, the pathetic special effects, and the pointless camera shots galore. Plus, how can you enjoy this in any way when the conflict is resolved literally with a splash of water? Avoid at all costs.


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