Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Horrors of October 2013 - Creature (#1)


Two years ago, I premiered what was to be an annual event only for it to crash and burn. Dubbed "Horrors of October", I was going to systematically review the first season of Are You Afraid of the Dark?. I only made it to the first episode before the common cold sucked all of the energy and fun out of me and postponed the project indefinitely.

I wanted to bring back the event so this year I'm going to go with something a bit easier to churn out. I'll watch and review at least one horror movie a day. They can be anything, from films I'm checking out for the first time, to some revisits, to some of my all-time classics. Let's Begin!



Creature (2011)

This 2011 film made waves when it was somehow released into many theaters, let alone one, and became one of the lowest grossing films in nationwide release history. You can tell why: a bunch of horny men and women venture into a haunted part of the Louisiana swamps and come into contact with a half-man, half-crocodile. At least it's supposed to be but the bad prosthetic design actually makes it look like a horrifying live-action rendition of a Ninja Turtle. The film first feels like a mixture between a Syfy Channel-produced flick and the old ways of horror/exploitation movies (meaning lots of T&A), and it has a dumb but easy charm. But then it goes utterly confusing with each passing scene. Characters keep teleporting everywhere, it's unclear who and why people are getting murdered, what's going on with the extra antagonists, why the practical effects are plentiful in one moment and then hidden away for the rest of the film, and why anyone wanted to sit through a scene of softcore incest. It literally culminates with a final battle done off-screen, in some kind of mud hole that comes out of nowhere. Avoid this trash.


FINAL REVIEW: 1 / 5

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